Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to GrowSimon and Schuster, 08/05/2010 - 450 páginas The classic New York Times bestseller about the many forms of loss we experience throughout our lives, and the necessity of letting go. In Necessary Losses, Judith Viorst turns her considerable talents to a serious and far-reaching subject: how we grow and change through the losses that are a certain and necessary part of life. She argues persuasively that through the loss of our mothers’ protection, the loss of the impossible expectations we bring to relationships, the loss of our younger selves, and the loss of our loved ones through separation and death, we gain deeper perspective, true maturity, and fuller wisdom about life. She has written a book that is both life-affirming and life-changing. Drawing on psychoanalysis, literature, and personal experience, Necessary Losses is a philosophy for understanding and accepting a universal human experience. “One of the most sensitive and comprehensive books about the human condition I have read in a long time.” —Harold S. Kushner, author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People “Viorst has synthesized a vast amount of research into a very readable and generous whole.” —The New York Times Book Review |
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Página 18
... start to become aware of the ways in which our responses to loss have shaped our lives can be the beginning of wisdom and hopeful change . JUDITH VIORST Washington , D.C. 1 The High Cost of Separation Then there is the 18 INTRODUCTION.
... start to become aware of the ways in which our responses to loss have shaped our lives can be the beginning of wisdom and hopeful change . JUDITH VIORST Washington , D.C. 1 The High Cost of Separation Then there is the 18 INTRODUCTION.
Página 25
... responses : pro- test ; despair ; and , finally , detachment . Take a child from his mother and put him with strangers in a strange place and he will find the living arrangements intolerable . He will scream , THE HIGH COST OF SEPARATION ...
... responses : pro- test ; despair ; and , finally , detachment . Take a child from his mother and put him with strangers in a strange place and he will find the living arrangements intolerable . He will scream , THE HIGH COST OF SEPARATION ...
Página 26
... coldly , treating her with a distance , a blankness , that almost seems to say , " I never saw this lady before in my life . " This response is called detach- ment - it is a shutdown of loving feelings — 26 NECESSARY LOSSES.
... coldly , treating her with a distance , a blankness , that almost seems to say , " I never saw this lady before in my life . " This response is called detach- ment - it is a shutdown of loving feelings — 26 NECESSARY LOSSES.
Página 27
... responses to being abandoned . And it also may be a defense - which can last for hours , or days , or a lifetime — a defense against the agony of ever loving , and ever los- ing , again . Absence makes the heart grow frozen , not fonder ...
... responses to being abandoned . And it also may be a defense - which can last for hours , or days , or a lifetime — a defense against the agony of ever loving , and ever los- ing , again . Absence makes the heart grow frozen , not fonder ...
Página 31
... responses to that experience , onto what we expect from our children , our friends , our marriage partner , even our business partner . Expecting to be abandoned , we hang on for dearest life : " Don't leave me . Without you I'm nothing ...
... responses to that experience , onto what we expect from our children , our friends , our marriage partner , even our business partner . Expecting to be abandoned , we hang on for dearest life : " Don't leave me . Without you I'm nothing ...
Índice
15 | |
34 | |
51 | |
Lessons in Love | 66 |
THE FORBIDDEN AND THE IMPOSSIBLE | 81 |
Passionate Triangles | 100 |
Anatomy and Destiny | 115 |
Good as Guilt | 130 |
Saving the Children | 205 |
Family Feelings | 223 |
Love and Mourning | 237 |
Shifting Images | 265 |
Grow Old I Grow Old | 284 |
The ABC of Dying | 305 |
Reconnections | 325 |
BIBLIOGRAPHY | 413 |
Outras edições - Ver tudo
Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible ... Judith Viorst Pré-visualização limitada - 2010 |
Necessary Losses: The Loves Illusions Dependencies and Impossible ... Judith Viorst Visualização de excertos - 1998 |
Palavras e frases frequentes
adolescence adult American Psychoanalytic Association analyst anxiety argues baby become Benjamin Spock boys brother called child childhood daughter dead death describes discussion dreams dying early ego ideal emotional envy experience fantasies father fear feel female friends friendships girls give Greenspan and Pollock grief grow guilt hate Hogarth Press human husband Ibid ideal identification identity infant inner James Strachey Judith Viorst latency let go Liv Ullmann live male marriage married means mid-life mother mourning narcissism narcissistic necessary losses never normal oedipal Oedipus complex old age ourselves pain parents passion patients penis penis envy person phase poem psychological reality Redbook relationship role says sense separation sexual sibling Sigmund Freud sister sometimes stage Standard Edition Stanley Greenspan studies superego symbiosis talk tell tion uncon unconscious Viorst W. B. Yeats wife wish woman women writes York
Passagens conhecidas
Página 396 - All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits, and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant, Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms; And then, the whining school-boy, with his satchel, And shining morning face, creeping like snail Unwillingly to school: And then, the lover; Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad Made to his mistress...
Página 86 - And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering: but unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect.
Página 396 - With spectacles on nose, and pouch on side ; His youthful hose, well sav'd, a world too wide For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice, Turning again toward childish treble, pipes And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all, That ends this strange eventful history, Is second childishness, and mere oblivion ; Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans every thing.
Página 364 - The phases and life tasks, defined elsewhere in this dictionary, are trust versus mistrust, autonomy versus shame and doubt, initiative versus guilt, industry versus inferiority, identity versus role confusion, intimacy versus isolation, generativity versus stagnation, and integrity versus despair.
Página 411 - It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Página 145 - Nothing I cared, in the lamb white days, that time would take me Up to the swallow thronged loft by the shadow of my hand, In the moon that is always rising. Nor that riding to sleep I should hear him fly with the high fields And wake to the farm forever fled from the childless land.
Página 396 - With eyes severe and beard of formal cut, Full of wise saws and modern instances; And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts Into the lean and...
Página 396 - The sixth age shifts Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon, With spectacles on nose and pouch on side, His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide For his shrunk shank ; and his big manly voice, Turning again toward childish treble, pipes And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all, That ends this strange eventful history, Is second childishness and mere oblivion, Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
Referências a este livro
Treating Affect Phobia: A Manual for Short-term Dynamic Psychotherapy Leigh McCullough Pré-visualização limitada - 2003 |
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: A Lifespan Developmental Perspective Andreas Maercker,Matthias Schützwohl,Zahava Solomon Visualização de excertos - 1999 |