A vessel for India, he cross'd on her track; 21. But how shall he meet his dear injur'd Annette? How know that his love is unchanged for her yet?- 22. So 'twas and the day of the bridal came round, "He's coming," they cried, and she rose at the sound, 23. Peace entered her soul and her reason return'd, 24. Remember this tale of Annette and Eugene- NUGATOR. PAINTINGS IN PROFILE. ing the same purpose there that the great luminary around which our earth is eternally circling, does in physical creation. Notwithstanding its origin and its commentator, it warms, enlivens, vivifies; but, occasionally, it raises a moral miasma as loathsome as that which arises from a Mississippi swamp. It is like fire, and it resembles water. Like fire, for it combines both good and evil-resembling water, for in it, you may either swim or drown yourself. It develops itself when the boy draws on his first pair of breeches, or when mamma parts the locks of little Miss and calls her an angel. It now follows them through life, making them guilty of freaks before high Heaven, which, so far from causing angels to weep, must infallibly make them laugh. Master Rough-enough is at first ambitious of "plumping the middle man from taw"of running the swiftest, or vaulting the highest. Not being capable of appreciating intellectual honors, he cultivates the physical ones alone. But these days soon pass. The down of manhood begins to feather his chin. His voice is at one moment as low and as soft as a wind-harp when fanned by a zephyr, and then as shrill and harsh as the same instrument when swept by the icy fingers of a Northern blast. Love now enters into a copartnership with Ambition, and the consequence is-a poet. He talks to the moon, the stars, the waves-he cross-examines Futurity, and puts hard questions to the Fates; and all this is done without the least hope or expectation of ever receiving an answer. He reads Virgil and becomes a TytyWithout doubt, Ambition has a diabolical origin; rus "recubating under a spreading fagian." He and the first commentator on it, was the Serpent thinks Dido imprudent, decidedly so,—and Eneas in the garden of Eden. From that time to this, it a fool, more decidedly still. He envies Paris the has been the theme of statesman and schoolboy; of fair Helen, and refuses all sympathy to her legitibard and bardling; of poet and poetaster;—and now, mate lord; in short, he is a creature of impulse, when it has been discussed for six thousand years, until the world of dreams and shadows begins to we may well enter upon the subject with a tremb-breathe in flesh and blood-until the love ideal beling fear of our ability to place it in a new light. comes the love actual. Ambition is now again in But this fear is mingled with a modest confidence the ascendant, and his sole aim, object, hope, aspinot in the depth of our penetration, Heaven fore- ration, is to bring an offering worthy the shrine of fend!—but in the perfect originality of the charac- the Goddess of his idolatry. But people differter, whose thoughts, feelings, and, more than all, and differ they ever will-as to the nature of this actions, afford us the materials for the present propitiatory sacrifice. Hence arise the various sketch. We may be a most unskilful artizan, but, divisions of beaux-the fop, the coxcomb, the senthen, we possess the tools-we may be a bad timental lisper, and the boisterous haw-haw conteacher, but our illustrations are practical, and, ba-versationalist. One brings a coat of the smoothest lancing this against that, we venture to promise a texture and the newest fashion, and demands in sterling coin, though it may not fall glittering from exchange-a heart. Another exhibits the finely the mint—a diamond, but a diamond untouched by turned calf of his leg, with the expectation that it the hand of the lapidary. will more than counterbalance the calf in his head. Before we proceed further with this undertaking, Yet another will lisp forth in eloquent strains his it may not be improper to paint a back-ground admiration of love in a cottage, while every nowhich shall exhibit our hero to the greatest possible advantage, and, that he may stand forth in bold relief, let us pause for a moment and descant on the various phases ambition presents at different BY PAUL GRANALD. ment of his life is spent in secking for love in a palace. But why dwell upon these divisions? Are they not written in the chronicles of foppery!-Do they not form a portion of the statutory law of courtship—we do not say of love. They do and Ambition is the sun of the moral world, answer- we turn to our hero, Jeremiah Doddrington—Ora periods of life. tor Jerry, by courtesy; fool Jerry, by right-as most profound observations an air so ludicrous, that the only refuge for something original in this vast Heraclitus himself would forget his tears to indesert of endless variety-a bull in appearance, but dulge in laughter. in appearance only. We said it was once our luck to hear him. Mr. Doddrington was in his own room, and first attracted our attention by the noise he made in kicking to and fro a huge volume which he had been reading. Mr. Jeremiah Doddrington is fat; and fat men are the same now, that Cæsar thought them, two thousand years ago. It is our firm belief that the temper of a man is in direct proportion to the surface of body exposed. Were we a tyrant wishing "By the club of Alcides !"—a favorite oath of to make our subjects a nation of slaves who should his, when excited-were the first words we caught; never resist our slightest behest, we would fatten " By the club of Alcides! but this world is a queer them. Were we a woman wishing an obedient one! I do believe its inhabitants estimate the valover, we would fatten him. Angularity of body lue of a work from its size-criticise with a carand sourness of disposition are synonymes. Hun-penter's rule or a yard-stick. They might improve ger makes a man crabbed, leanness is an effect of the science (I wonder if criticism is a science?) hunger, ergo-but the conclusion is evident. Syl- by purchasing a case of mathematical instruments. logisms are useless here; experience is all-suffi- Then we should have it," he continued, his lip cient. But Mr. Doddrington is not only fat, Mr. curled in disdain; "this is an excellent work. It Doddrington is short and fat. There is here a dif- is two feet long, a foot and a half wide, and six ference to be noted. A short fat man, in addition inches thick. For sale by Puff & Co., No. 5, to good temper, is merry. Not only has he that Bookworm street. Now, why can't they reason placid evenness of disposition, whose possessor this way? This man has written a work of will make you an apology if you kick him; but he (curse that Miss Boggs, I do believe she thinks to has a lively laughter-loving spirit, which considers sport with my feelings because I do love her; it's the kick aforesaid as the best joke in the world, mean) a thousand pages. The first page is nonand begs you, as the greatest favor, to repeat it. sense, the second is worse than nonsense, and so A short fat man is unlike his brother obesities in on, increasing in geometrical progression. Now, another particular. There is not a particle of la- my stars! only calculate what a fool he must be at ziness in his composition; in fact, he is fidgety the end of the thousandth page!-how much when not employed about something or other. We greater the fool than he who only writes one line do not say he likes to work; for all men disliking this, are not lazy. By no means. People may be very busy about nothing. Utilitarians are not the only folks upon whom the curse of Adam rests. Jerry is very diligent, but whether his diligence will ever lead to fame and fortune is another ques-it with a blessing and a curse-and then resumed tion. The remaining peculiarities of the Orator's person, as they have naught to do with his character, we omit. The materials for his mental sketch, his own imprudence gives in abundance. drington's ambition to excel in oratory-to express his thoughts with fluency and ease, whether it be from the rostrum or the sofa-induces him to hold frequent conversations with himself; and persons in the habit of doing this have, generally, more auditors than they imagine. Jeremiah resolves himself into a committee of the whole, on any subject which may enter his head, and of the cursed stuff!" Mr. Doddrington laughed at this conceit; made his finger-joints crack like pistols; gave the book at his feet an extra kick; called on Miss Boggs' name some four or five times-alternately coupling his train of audible thought. Had it been Guy Faukes soliloquizing on the gun-powder plot, we could not have listened with greater attention. "But neither way is the correct one. Now, Mr. Dod-here is a book”—and to our surprise he drew a child's book from his pocket-"a little book, a very little book, full of wisdom and profound philosophy, which no one has ever found out, and this, because it is a little book. Folks would laugh at me if they knew I read it; but I'll criticise it-show the world its beauties-and, then, devil take 'em!all but Miss Boggs-let 'em laugh!" Writing and speaking at the same time, not a word escaped us. He began "This is the house that Jack built." "Then he will talk-good gods! how he will talk.” It was once our fortune to hear him when litera"This work will amply renumerate—is remuneture was his theme; but we must premise, he is rate right ?-is it a derivative of munos or numos? never very solicitous about confining himself to If the last it must be renumerate, tho' I mustn't one subject. He will startle you sometimes by put this in the criticism. This work will amply calling on the name of his lady-love-she happened renumerate the reader. I am not certain about to be a Miss Boggs, on the occasion above alluded that word yet. I will take another. This work to-in the midst of a mathematical equation, and, will amply-abundantly is a better word than this, it is said, he crossed the pons asinorum, whistling too. This work will abundantly repay the reader couplets from Hudibras. This habit gives to his Ah! that's it! The very first line is a rich one." "This is the house that Jack built." "We-" At the moment Mr. Doddrington uttered this word, he seemed to be struck with a new idea, and, not only a new one, but one of the utmost importance. He compressed his lips; placed a finger on his nose, and remained, for the space of a minute, perfectly motionless. At the end of this time he pronounced, most emphatically, "I'll do it," and thrust the sheet of paper, upon which he had been writing, into his drawer. Having taken a fresh one, he wrote in the most hurried manner, as if he feared his thoughts would escape him before they could be transferred to the sheet. We imagined that we should not receive the benefit of his labors, but he very soon breathed hard; threw down his pen, and read aloud from the manuscript he had written. gument calls us, almost in the same sentence, 'my eye and Betty Martin disputators.' "Now, sir, as to the vanity of the thing; and here I think you will be inclined to smile, when I tell you that these learned Duuminunomites cite newspaper editors—who always write we—as bright exemplars of modesty and decorum!! What sort of cause must it be which needs an assertion like this to support it? But I will permit this to pass as being too notoriously otherwise to require comment from my pen. We come, then, to the first issue which they make-which is the vainest the Egomeipsumite or the Duuminunomite? The Egomeipsumite simply says I did it; the Duuminunomite says we did it, thereby making himself equal to two men-at least-when, in reality, he is but one; nay, did I choose to indulge my wit, I might say, but the half of one. But they protest against my interpreting it in this way, and say it is intended to include the reader; and thus, by a kind of pious fraud, carry him along with them; and, that if understood in my way, no one but the Siamese twins would consent to edit a paper: for the responsi bility would be too great, and the converts too few, was only backed by a slim perpendicular I. This may be very good wit, but, to my mind, it is very indifferent logic. "You do me too much honor to suppose I can throw any light on the long mooted, and, I may add, intricate question which you propound in your letter of the 15th inst. It is a question of much if every item of intelligence or axiom in politics, importance to the literary world—as you profoundly remark—and should be speedily settled; but I greatly fear, from the asperity shown by the champions on both sides, that this event is far, very far, "But I will no longer remain on the defensive. distant. Fame has not belied me, sir, when it in- I carry the war into Africa at once; and I boldly formed you that I was, am, and ever shall be, an declare, that the use of the first person plural is advocate of the first person singular in the compo- anti-republican in tendency, if not unconstitutional!! sition of all writings. This, for the sake of con- What say the Janus-faced hypocrites to this! Is ciseness, as well as because I think the name a not we the style royal-the language of Kings good one, I shall denominate the Ego-meipsum and despots? Is it democratical for one man to style of letters; while the other, for similar rea- assume the responsibilities of two, or two hundred, sons, I propose calling the Duum-in-unomite. Now, or two thousand, as the case may be? What say sir, what is the great argument used by the oppo- they? I ask. I know what they will say to me nents of the Egomeipsumites? "Tis this, and I and to citizens of my State. They will answer shall endeavor to state it with all the candor and that the Virginians are the self-elected guardians fairness which becomes a philosopher. They say of the Constitution; and that they have cried wolf! it can be nothing but vanity to use the first person wolf! wolf! so often, when there was no wolf, that singular (I) when the first person plural (we) would now no one will believe them though they swear do as well; and that vanity in writing, as in every the slaughter of the flock has commenced—that we thing else, is reprehensible, and should be frowned belong to a State whose inhabitants, while crushing upon by the reader. They say, further, that I a pismire, shout sic semper tyrannis with all the does not sound as harmoniously as we, and har-strength of their lungs. "Your friend, mony being second in importance to sense, and, "Excuse me, sir: On some other occasion I that as the sense would be the same, no matter will notice their other arguments and give you my which we adopt, therefore we should use we. They own views more in detail. The last reflection on do not stop here, however, but carry their literary my native State, has made me so angry I can quixotism to an extent which should disgust a man hardly sign myself of taste and refinement. They assert that our language is so full of words having the same sound, as, I, eye, high, (I-dem sonans is the contemptible pun they make on the occasion,) that we should use every means to avoid them, and thereby suppress those temptations to quibbling, which, it is declared, actually shortened the life of Johnson; and yet (O pudor!) the author of this luminous ar “D. DIDAPPER, Esq." "J. DODDRINGTON, However angry Jerry might be in his letter, be was laughing, with great glee, in his room—not in the loud ringing tones he used in public, but in the low, complacent chuckle which characterized his This is the house that Jack built.' private cachinations. His listener could with dif- refuse it utterance, his heart will say, why, bless ficulty refrain from joining him when he heard the my soul, my dear sir, real Irish blunder in the last line-a man so angry with another, that he could hardly sign himself “ a friend" to the one to whom he was writing. Mr. Doddrington, having read and re-read this letter, seemed satisfied as to the style he should adopt in the criticism on the interesting little work we have mentioned. Placing his paper before him, he drew his pen through the obnoxious word-w and commenced thinking aloud, as usual. -we "Out you go!" this accompanied the erasure of the poor monysyllable; "and now, if I can get Miss Boggs out of my head, I will give the world a delicious example of 'sermons in stones.' This is the house that Jack built.' "I assert that nothing in the dreamy reveries of Plato—by the way I dreamed of Miss Boggs last night—the hail-fellow-well-met philosophy of Epicurus, the tears of Heraclitus, or the smiles of Democritus, has a more profound meaning than that which appears beneath the somewhat childish appearance-pooh! appears beneath the appearance, indeed!-than that which lies beneath the somewhat childish appearance of this line. It is the cause of an effect which pervades the whole earth; showing, at a glance, why we ever give the preference to deeds of our own, over the deeds of others. To apply my quotation to small things, I will take a man who has invented a steel pen, and one who has invented a pen of steel; and though, in my short-sighted wisdom, I can see no difference, yet there are ten chances to one, that he who has invented the steel pen, will look down with contempt on him who has invented the pen of steel, and for no other reason in the world than This is the house that Jack built.' "Follow yonder author into his study. Lo! he taketh a work from the shelf. It fell still-born from the press-not even the critics holding a wake above its remains. But see with what a careful and delicate hand he dusteth the cover with what parental fondness he turneth over the leaves! and now he reads the title page! and now the entry which has secured the copyright! and now the dedication! and now the preface! and now the introduction! and, at this moment, he smiles proudly over the deep reflection which introduces Chap. I. He is lost to the present-if any one were listening to me, now, he would think I was a fool-and all the associations of the past, which called forth the happy idea, are gathering around him. He lives in a kingdom of his own creation; one that he has peopled with scintillations of the brain, bright-vivid-burning! Ask him why he admires that which the world hath damned, orwhat is worse-cared too little about to take the trouble of condemning; and, though his lips may "Let us go forth into the street and look upon the leads that pale (I wonder if Miss Boggs paints) throng with which it is crowded. The man that and sickly child, by the hand, will serve my purpose. He is its father. With what devoted attachment does he look down upon little wan-face! See him toy with its carroty locks; and, doubtless, he thinks them more beautiful than the darkest ebony. Its face of inanity, to him, beams with thought! Its weak and querulous voice is as sweet as tones from the harp of an Orpheus!-its deformed and emaciated limbs contain every line of beauty Hogarth ever drew!" "I beg your pardon, sir, but may I ask why you prefer this pale and crippled child, to all of the rosy cheeks and elastic forms we see around us?” "You are not a father, sir?" "Thank my stars! no." say 'I thought not. You are answered when I This is the house that Jack built.' "Advancing a little further into this incomparable allegory, I am surprised at the richness and versitality of genius shown by the author. He has made the most trifling things-the lowest of animal creation-pay tribute to his teachings. A rat-whether the large rat of Norway, the water-rat, or the common house-rat, we are left in ignorance— is made to illustrate a most beautiful sentiment. This is the rat that eat the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.' "Let us, in the first place, examine the construction of this line, and then we will be enabled, the more readily, to understand its symbollical meaning. Observe the wording of the sentence. He does not say 'here is the rat;' no! he says this is the rat.' He holds it up to the scorn and indignation of the public, and, for this purpose, wisely uses a word (this) which hisses forth his disapprobation of the deed. The line is evidently modelled after Pope, who sets each sentiment-be it soft or harsh-to appropriate music. But there is another object in this, in which the pains-taking genius of my author shines preeminent. He wishes to arouse our antipathies that we may applaud the poetical vengeance which immediately ensues." "This is the cat that caught the rat that eat the malt that lay in the house that Jack built." The reader cannot fail to notice the metrical grandeur given by the frequent repetition of the word "that." It is equal, in every respect, to the celebrated lines in Virgil, which, I was told in my youth, when properly scanned, resemble the gallop of a horse. Let the admirer of the classics compare them. Turn we for a moment to the allegory, and new beauties meet us at every step. I will illustrate theme; and here he became so excited, that he leaped from his throne and commenced a dance, them. "Ha! my man of the steel pen, you appear to chanting, all the time, Our risible muscles could bear no more. Shout "And the Commissioner of Patents is a greater ing "weel done, Cutty-sark!" we took to our heels fool than all put together." "That's a bull-but I see what ails you. You have been refused a patent and are now angry with -the rat that eat the malt that lay in the house that Jack built."" Behold! my author. and left Jerry to finish the Shaking Quaker worship of his goddess. This habit of "talking to yourself," is by no means confined to Mr. Jerry Doddrington. Since the days of Demosthenes private declamation has been the fashion; and within a mile of the place "The knavery of this world-political, social sacred to our lucubrations, there is a grove in which and literary-is beyond belief." "Beyond belief." "Plagiarism is the order of the day." "Of the day." a now deceased Attorney General was accustomed to exercise his oratorical powers. Here, before a jury composed of eight oaks, three hickories and a hard-hearted gum, he was wont to cultivate an art "Thieves do not steal property alone, they steal which afterwards brought him distinction and wealth. brains." "Steal brains." Whether he had a Miss Boggs, to whom an episode was occasionally addressed, we have no means "Don't echo me, sir, if you please, look here- of determining. Jerry, as we have seen, has—and read!" I do not know how a good anatomist can his episodes are the best part of his performances. ever love the fairest of his race. Were I inti-Indeed, it is an opinion which Mr. Doddrington has mately acquainted with the human frame, I would often expressed to us in private, that any subject as soon fall in love with a wheelbarrow. "And this" may be exhausted in fifteen minutes, and, unless we resort to episode, we cannot expect the apThe miseries of life are formed, for the most plause of our audience-conciseness not being, as part, of trifles. Great disasters call forth all the formerly, a merit. In support of this opinion, Jeenergies of our minds, to meet them, and, in the remiah refers us to the Congressional speeches and end, we generally succeed. It was once our mis-documents of the day. We acknowledge that the fortune to lose, for a while, the use of both arms; and the greatest annoyance we experienced, was an inability to scratch our head. N. B. We are not a Scotchman. "Two most profound reflections." 66 They are profound; but what business have they in this book? It is my thunder. reference illustrates the doctrine; but as we do not agree with the doctrine itself, we must take warning and bring this most veracious history to a close, by relating one other incident in the life of its hero. Jerry having found that his private theatricals were no longer private, or feeling his genius "Indeed! the rat has been in Jack's house- cramped by the walls of a room, or for some other eaten his malt. Send a critic-a literary grimal-purpose which we know not, but which led to the kin—after him, and soon you may shout in triumph result about to be related, determined to resort to the open vault of heaven, with the green sward "This is the cat that caught the rat,'" &c. for a rostrum, and the merry whispering leaves for Again did Mr. Doddrington pause. "The house an audience, that he might cultivate the talent that Jack built" was carefully consigned to his which he felt-as it is said every genius does— pocket; and, mounting upon the huge tome which was within him. He wanted room, perhaps, for lay upon the floor, he proceeded to declaim a most the three great requisites, action! action! action! eloquent oration on the charms of Miss Boggs. for though we have exhibited him in the character He had three comparisons for her eyes; a dew- of a critic-cultivating the ars scribendi, instead drop, a star, a diamond; three for her lips; coral, cherries, rubies; three for her teeth; pearls, crystal, ivory. Having eulogized her beauties in detail, he clubbed them, and Miss Boggs became, successively a goddess, an angel, a Psyche, a Hebe, a Venus, a Juno. The gracefulness which characterized every motion of her person, was his next of the ars loquendi, yet we took the precaution, in assuming our title, to insinuate that he was a disciple of Tully-as Tully spoke, and not as he wrote. It was, doubtless, the indignation which he experienced while reading some passage in the volume which he treated so discourteously, that caused him to indite the ironical laudation on "the house that |