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such wretched stuff as he will find serving that the · Harvest Evenby referring to the thirty-seventh ing of W. H. and the love-corresline of that most wretched piece; pondence of S. Y. and Mr. John it is such language as could only Webb, must be equally uninterbe tolerated in a company of Bil- esting to your fair readers : for linsgate fish-wives.
when common-place incidents are In your last number Mr. S. Y. introduced they should certainly gives us a morning-walk in Au- be related in elegant and forcible tumn,' in which, after some pretty language to make them at all talk about the rising sun, and agreeable. flocks of sheep, a clear morning, And now, Sir, after all this centhe trunk of an old tree, the ap- sure, I must proceed to praise. pearance of ' a beautiful female That part of the work which rustic,' and other original descrip- falls immediately under your own tive language, he tells us hera- department, namely the selections ther impertinently' bid her good from new and scarce books, has, morning :' astonishing ! and that I assure you, given me the great. he asked her where she was going; est pleasure: it does equal honour when she inforned himn that she to your taste and judgment, and was going a nutting, and at his I wish sincerely to see it extended. request allowed him to accom- With many of the original pieces pany her (amiable condescension ! I have also been much gratified. Beautiful description ! Happy, I cannot ensure the insertion of happy fellow !). He then gives this letter; but I hope the genus something about Venus and tlemen mentioned in it will view Adonis, and Idalian groves; and my motives in their proper light, at length he tells us he was and as they cannot then be ofiende going to steal – a kiss ; (Oh fie! ed, and as they have also the liMr. S. Y.-Shocking, shocking!) berty of justifying themselves, I but he eases our feelings by in- shall expect to see it in your numforming us in an apostrophe, beau- ber for the present month. tifully tender, that the thought
I remain, Sir, of his * * * * * prevented him
Your obedient and (thrice happy maid, to possess so
obliged Servant, constant a lover ! — He is abso- Oct. 6, 1807.
W, M. T. lutely a modern Joseph !) But P. S. These observations are enough of such trifling ; I sin- not only my own opinions, but cerely hope he will see his error, are written at the desire of several and improve.
of your fair subscribers.
To the EDITOR of the LADY'S
MAGAZINE. them to a solitary corner of his
SIR, port-folio, till he can clothe them
HEREWITH I send, for your in more spirited diction.
It is the quotations alone which consideration, and insertion (if you (being sometimes made from our
think proper), best authors) render these things
Another Misery of Human Life. tolerabie.
PORING, late at night, over I cannot conclude without ob- that luminous production yclept the · Property Tax Act,' (octavo' edition) printed by his majesty's law-printers, on a type that has THE FATAL CONSEQUENCES been in wear at least half a cen- OF DISSIPATED HABITS. tury, or to use a typo-technical term, on ball-nails,' with candles I AM the youngest son of an before you manufactured princi- earl, and was intended for the pally of that delicious ingredient ariny, but the will of a partial kitchen-stutf'; which, as you hold grandmother made me iudepenthe book up to them for inforna- dent, by bequeathing to me an estion, vent their saline particles at tate, which, with the accumulated your eyes, regaling, at the same in- interest of ten years minority, put stant, your olfactory nerves by me in possession, at the age of their odoriferous ethuvia; the ser- twenty-one, of an income of two vant, too, having neglected to place thousand pounds per annum. My the soufiers on the table:
father died in my infancy, and left Mr. Testy. Of whom were these me to the care of an indulgent infernal mutton-lights bought? mother who could not support the
Mrs. Testy. Of our neighbour idea of my entering into the army. EUSEBIUS S-,* my dear! She had lost one brother and a
Testy Junior. Ha! ha! ha! nephew in the American war, and You-see-by-us! That would make she was determined that the life of a devilish good motto for the Wor- her only son should not be endanshipful Company of Tallow-chand- gered by a profession which had lers; but neighbour Eusebius can proved so fatal to her family. You never expect to set up for a shining are not to iinagine, however, that meinber of that Cominunity, while the countess was one of those weak he furnishes so dull an article of mothers who indulge their parental sale.
fondness in spoiling their children Sept. 22d. 1807.
by a neglect of their education. SQUIB SECUNDUS. She submitted to the direction of
à respectable uncle so important
a charge, and I passed my first To the Editor of the LADY'S
years at Eton school, from whence MAGAZINE.
I removed to Oxford, where I re
mained till it was judged proper SIR,
that I should make the grand tour. The following narrative is supposed At the expiration of the third year to be written by a husband who had of my travels I returned to Engunfortunately made a too precipitate land, to celebrate my one-andcboice, and was afterwards too timid and indulgent to be able to stem the twentieth birth-day, and to take torrent of destruction, into which the possession of my little fortune. follies of a thoughtless votary of fashion
My mother received me with had necessarily involved him. Your rapture; but I was grieved to obinsertion of it in your agreeable Miscel- serve that sickness, during my ablady will much ohlige an
sence, had impaired her coustituOCCASIONAL CORRESPONDENT. tion, which, being naturally deli
cate, had yielded to a gradual deThe name of an eminent tallow. cay that threatened approaching chandler well known in Westminster. dissolution.
The countess was sensible of her inclinations. I impressed upon situation, and, tenderly interested her hand a kiss of grateful acin my happiness, pressed me to knowledgment; and this beloved allow her to recommend me a parent named no more her favourite wife, and to bless her eyes with a Matilda. sight of pur union before they The rapid advance of death soon closed for ever.
claimed my hourly attention to the I tenderly loved my mother, couch of her repose. She saw the and was truly conscious of all the affliction which penetrated my boduty which I owed her; but I had som, and endeavoured to reconcile a heart formed for the sensibility me to her inevitable fate. Three of mutual affection, in that state, months after my return to Eng. which I well knew decided our land I had the inisfortune to lose worldly misery or felicity ; and this excellent mother, who blessed therefore could not consent to sa- me in her expiring moments, and crifice my opinion in a point so conjured Heaven to mark my days important, even in obedience to wită happiness !- Vain, alas ! were the wishes of a beloved and dying her pious prayers--in her tomb was parent. The young lady whom her buried all my earthly felicity. My choice pointed out was elegant in eldest brother was the offspring person, accomplished in mind, and of a first marriage; it is the less affluent in fortune; but iny heart then to be wondered at that he could not feel that sympathy so thought little attention due to necessary to form an indissoluble the countess. He constantly reunion. Matilda was prepared to sided in Ireland, with his lady, receive my addresses, but I re- whoin he had married for alliance, volted at the idea of premeditated and with whom he had been unilove: sentiments of indifference formly miserable for some years! were all which I could feel for She was of a temper haughty and her; and I scorned to obtain the imperious ; - her pursuits were wealth of an heiress with the those of vanity ;-public amusepretended offer of an untouched ments estranged her from domestic heart.
scenes ;—and this fashionable pair I confessed to my mother seldom met but in the circle of the inipossibility of complying amusement, where they were too with her kind wishes, without sa- polite to converse with each other. crificing my future happiness; The endearing claims of paternal adding, that the woman who could love had never awakened their yield her affections by anticipation sensibility, as their union was not to a man she had never seen, cemented by the birth of children : wounded her own delicacy, and their name and title seemed to be descending from the dignity of the only ties that subsisted beher sex, became' to me an object tween them. Though the earl of disgust. My mother confessed had never appeared to consider me that she herself had acted wrong in the light of a brother, he conin proposing an alliance before ap- descended, in his condolence on parent chance had introduced us my mother's death, to invite me to each other; and kindly assured to pay him a visit in Dublin. My me that she would press no fur- spirits really required change of ther a union so discordant to my scene : I therefore accepted the
proposal as soon as the funeral Aurelia was just eighteen, ceremonies were performed, and thoughlady Aimwell only aclanded in Ireland in the month of knowledged her to be in her October.
A fairer exterior I found the earl and countess never graced the female form. were at a country seat twenty Symmetry and diguity distinmiles from the capital, whither I guished her figure, and the most immediately followed them, and angelic features were animated by was received with great civility. sensibility and native innocence. The house was full of company, After this description need I corrand what the world calls pleasure fess that I coinmenced the chaseemed to occupy the time and racter of lover?--To see was to ideas of the select circle that com- love, to love way to adore her! posed the gay society.
I was at first struck with her From this fatal era I date all beauty, but compassion interested my future iniseries. Here, with my affections.-As lady Aimwell my freedom, I lost that indiffer- did not relish the rival powers of ence which all the brilliancy of her daugliter she was not allowed foreign charms had never mate- the privilege of remaining in our rially touched. An Irish baron, society beyond the limits of those whose real title I must disguise stated hours which called us to under the fictitious one of lord the successive ineals:-She always Aimwell, with his lady, were of disappeared when the ladies asthis gay party. His lordship was sembled in the drawing-room. formed to shine in courts by his When the company sat down fiue address, and to figure in as- to cards, which they did immesemblies at tables of the highest diately after breakfast, I usually play. Her ladyship's private strolled out into the gardens, hours were evidently spent in where I failed not to join the repairing
the ravages of that bar- lovely Aurelia, whose duenna conbarian, Time; and in arresting, stantly struck down some other by all the powers of art, those walk, and left me at liberty to lingering charms which, during entertain her young charge with the course of half a century, had a language more pleasing thas bloomed, attracted unrivalled ad- that of an Italian grammar which miration, withered, and now, on
she held in her hand. To shorten their decline, were verging fast my narrative, I offered, and the toward oblivion.
blashing Aurelia accepted, my Had lady Aimwell not been proffered vows. Lord and lady anreasonable in her demands on Aimwell were propitious to my youth and beauty, of which she wishes, the earl and countess aphad possessed so eminent a share, proved, and, in a few weeks,'I she might have taken pleasure in attended my bride to Dublin, seeing all her own personal per- where her mother insisted on any fections transferred to her lovely taking a house for the winter. It daughter; but, on the contrary, would have been more pleasing to envy supplied in her breast that me to have accompanied her to place which should have been oc- England, but I found the councupied by the delightful emotions tess opposed my intention strongof maternal love.
ly, and I reluctantly yielded to the earnest entreaties of my wife, child of folly, whom I could have that I would not tear her from her no chance of retrieving from denative country till that period. lusion, till I could remove her
On our removal to Dublin I from so fatal a situation, ere the was obliged to submit to enter noxious weeds of vice should have into the routine of public life, taken root in her mind. Finding and to see my wife initiated into it in vain to contend, I looked every scene of dissipation, In forward to the approaching sumvain I reinonstrated-Aurelia was mer as the period when all my deaf to reason, and awake only remaining hopes of happiness were to pleasure. Like a bird released to be renewed. from the captivity of a cage, no The countess had undertaken sooner did she emerge from her to be peak our equipage, and I nursery, than she broke at once soon found myself in the possese through all restraint, and disco- sion of a fine coach and chariot, vered, too soon for my happiness, which were to be exhibited on our and too late for my redress, that public appearance at Dublin. I had, by my hasty choice, pre- A most elegant chair, likewise, cipitated myself into an abyss of was prepared for my wife, whose misery and repentance. I found dress, upon her introduction at Aurelia totally uniformed in mind, the Castle was brilliant, as the and ignorant of any accomplish- anniversary of the queen's birthments but of those exterior ones day gave her the agreeable priviwhich serve only to decorate lege of laying aside the mourning beauty, and to delude the senses. which she could not avoid wearNeglected by her vain mother, ing for my mother. The jewels who, indeed, was herself mcapa- of the late countess having beble of improving the talent com- come, at her death, the property mitted to her care, she had been of my brother, I resigned them resigned to the tuition of a go- into his hands, who had them verness, who taught her no science immediately new set for his lady; but that of worldly pleasure ; and she at the same time extorted Aurelia, rendered thus perfect in from me an order to the jeweller its theory, only wanted the op- to make some ear-rings, a neckportunity to practise the easy lace, and pins for her new sister, lessons which she had imbibed. as she declared no woman of She vied with her mother and the quality could dispense with such countess in every appendage of ornaments on her first appearance. fashion, and followed the extra- Thus was I loaded with expenses 'vagant example which they daily which ill suited my finances, as exhibited, uncontrolied by the I had no command of ready moleast idea of economy. The coun- ney, and had actually received no tess and lady Aimwell had gained fortune with miss Aimwell, but had a total ascendency over this young depended on a verbal promise from and weak mind, which, from the her father of some thousands at errors of education, was devoid his death. The deliriuin of love of that rectitude of sentiment for the first four months of our which ought to be early implanted marriage had obscured my reason, it the heart. I sighed in silent and deluded my senses ; but when regret as I viewed this beauteous my eyes were open to my situa