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Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, good sir Topas, go to my lady.
Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend ! how vexest thou this man ? talkest thou nothing but of ladies ?
Sir To. Well said, master parson. Mal. Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged : good sir Topas, do not think I am mad; they have laid me here in hideous darkness.
Clo. Fye, thou dishonest Sathan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with courtesy : Say'st thou, that house is dark ?
Mal. As hell, sir Topas.
Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows, transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stones towards the south-north are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction ?
Mal. I am not mad, sir Topas; I say to you, this house is dark.
Clo. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness, but ignorance ; in which thou art more puzzled, than the Egyptians in their fog.
Mal. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell ; and I say, there was never man thus abused: I am no more mad than you are ; make the trial of it in any constant question.o
Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras, concerning wild-fowl ?
Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird.
Clo. What thinkest thou of his opinion? Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion.
s— it hath bay-windows —] A bay-window is the same as a bow-window; a window in a recess, or bay.
- constant question.] i. e, regular conversation.
Clo. Fare thee well: Remain thou still in darkness : thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well.
Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas,
Mar. Thou might'st have done this without thy beard, and gown; he sees thee not.
Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him: I would, we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were ; for I am now so far in offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber.
[Ereunt Sir Toby and MARIA Clo. Hey Robin, jolly Rolin,
Tell me how thy lady does. [Singing.
Mal. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper; as I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for't.
Clo. Master Malvolio!
Clo. Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits?
? Nay, I am for all waters.] Shakspeare is supposed to allude to the sense of the word water as used by jewellers, which makes a play of words with Topas.
Mal. Fool, there was never man so notoriously abused : I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art.
Clo. But as well? then you are mad, indeed, if you be no better in your wits than a fool.
Mal. They have here propertied me;s keep me in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to face me out of my wits.
Člo. Advise you what you say; the minister is here.—Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore! endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble.
Mal. Sir Topas,
Clo. Maintain no words with him, good fellow.Who, I, sir ? not I, sir. God b’wi’you, good sir Topas.—Marry, amen.—I will, sir, I will.
Mal. Fool, fool, fool, I say,
Clo. Alas, sir, be patient. What say you, sir? I am shento for speaking to you.
Mal. Good fool, help me to some light, and some paper; I tell thee, I am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria.
Clo. Well-a-day,—that you were, sir !
Mal. By this hand, I am: Good fool, some ink, paper, and light, and convey what I will set down to my lady ; it shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did.
Clo. I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed ? or do you but counterfeit ?
Mal. Believe me, I am not, I tell thee true.
Clo. Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman, till I see his brains. I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink.
Mal. Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree: I pr’ythee, be gone.
: - propertied me;] They have taken possession of me, at of a man unable to look to himself.
9 I am shent, fc.] i. e, scolded, reproved.