Fal. No, I'll come no more i' the basket: May I not go out ere he come? Mrs. Page. Alas, three of master Ford's brothers watch the door with pistols, that none shall issue out; otherwise you might slip away ere he came. But what make you here? Fal. Whall shall I do?- I'll creep up into the chimney. Mrs. Ford. There they always use to discharge Mrs. Ford. He will seek there Neither press, coffer, chest, trunk, he hath an abstract for the remem places, and goes to them by his not hiding you in the house. Fal. I'll go out then. Mrs. Page. If you go out in y blance, you die, sir John. Unless guised. Mrs. Ford. How might we disgu Mrs. Page. Alas the day, I kno is no woman's gown big enough f wise, he might put on a hat, a mu chief, and so escape. Fal. Good hearts, devise somethi mity rather than a mischief. Mrs. Ford. My maid's aunt, the Brentford, has a gown above. Mrs. Page. On my word, it w she's as big as he is: and there's h and her muffler too: Run up, sir J Mrs. Ford. Go, go, sweet sir J Page and I will look some linen for Mrs. Page. Quick, quick; we'll straight: put on the gown the while. [ Mrs. Ford. I would my husband in this shape: he cannot abide the Brentford; he swears she's a witc my house, and hath threatened to be Mrs. Page. Heaven guide him to cudgel; and the devil guide his cud Mrs. Ford. But is my husband c Mrs. Page. Ay, in good sadness of the basket too, howsoever he h gence. Mrs. Ford. We'll try that; for men to carry the basket again, to door with it, as they did last time. let's go dress him like the witch of Mrs. Page. Nay, but he'll be b Mrs. Ford. I'll first direct my 1 shall do with the basket. Go up, for him straight. Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest not misuse him enough. We'll leave a proof, by that which Re-enter Mrs. FORD, with two Mrs. Ford. Go, sirs, take the b your shoulders; your master is har bid you set it down, obey him: qui 1 Serv. Come, come, take it up. 2 Serv. Pray heaven, it be not fu 1 Serv. I hope not; I had as lie Enter FORD, PAGE, SHALLOW, C HUGH EVANS. Ford. Ay, but if it prove true, m this wrongs you. Eva. Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow the imaginations of your own heart: this is jealousies. Ford. Well, he's not here I seek for. Page. No, nor no where else, but in your brain. Ford. Help to search my house this one time : if I find not what I seek, show no colour for my extremity, let me for ever be your table-sport; let them say of me, As jealous as Ford, that searched a hollow walnut for his wife's leman.' Satisfy me once more; once more search with me. Mrs. Ford. What hoa, mistress Page! come you, and the old woman down; my husband will come into the chamber. Ford. Old woman! What old woman's that? Mrs. Ford. Why, it is my maid's aunt of Brentford. Ford. A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have I not forbid her my house? She comes of errands, does she? We are simple men; we do not know what's brought to pass under the profession of fortune-telling. She works by charms, by spells, by the figure, and such daubery as this is; beyond our element: we know nothing. Come down, you witch, you hag you; come down, I say. Mrs. Ford. Nay, good, sweet husband; gentlemen, let him not strike the old woman. Ford. Hang her, witch! Eva. By yea and no, I think, the 'oman is a witch indeed: I like not when a 'oman has a great peard; I spy a great peard under her muffler. Ford. Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you, follow; see but the issue of my jealousy: if I cry out thus upon no trail 3, never trust me when I open again. Come, gentlemen. [Exeunt PAGE, FORD, SHALLOW, and EVANS. Mrs Page. Trust me, he beat him most pitifully. Mrs. Ford. Nay, by the mass, that he did not; he beat him most unpitifully, methought. Mrs. Page. I'll have the cudgel hallowed; it hath done meritorious service. Mrs. Ford. What think you? May we, with the warrant of womanhood, and the witness of a good conscience, pursue him with any further revenge? Mrs. Page. The spirit of wantonness is, sure, scared out of him; if the devil have him not in feesimple, with fine and recovery, he will never, 1 think, attempt us again. Mrs. Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how we have served him? Mrs. Page. Yes, by all means; if it be but to scrape the figures out of your husband's brains. If they can find in their hearts, the poor unvirtuous fat knight shall be any further afflicted, we two will still be the ministers. Mrs. Ford. I'll warrant, they'll have him publickly shamed: and, methinks, there would be no period to the jest, should he not be publickly shamed. Mrs. Page. Come, to the forge with it then, shape it: I would not have things cool. [Exeunt. SCENE II. — A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter Host and BARDOLPH. Bard. Sir, the Germans desire to have three of your horses: the duke himself will be to-morrow at court, and they are going to meet him. Host. What duke should that be, comes so secretly? I hear not of him in the court: Let me speak with the gentlemen; they speak English? Bard. Ay, sir; I'll call them to you. Host. They shall have my horses; but I'll make them pay, I'll sauce them: they have had my houses a week at command; I have turned away my other guests: they must come off; I'll sauce them: Come. [Exeunt. good Enter PAGE, FORD, Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford, and Enter FALSTAFF in woman's clothes, led by Mrs. PAGE. Mrs. Page. Come, mother Pratt, come, give me your hand. 1 Lover. The trut We'll all present ourselves; dis-ho And mock him home to Windsor. Ford. TH In a most hideous and dreadful manner: Page. Why, yet there want not many, that do fear Mrs. Ford. Marry, this is our device; That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us, Disguis'd like Herne, with huge horns on his head. Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come, And in this shape: When you have brought him thither, What shall be done with him? what is your plot? Mrs. Page. That likewise have we thought upon, and thus: Nan Page my daughter, and my little son, Mrs. Ford. Eva. I will teach the children th and I will be like a jack-an-apes a knight with my taber. Ford. That will be excellent. Mrs. Page. My Nan shall be the fairies, Finely attired in a robe of white. Page. That silk will I go buy ;Shall master Slender steal my Nan And marry her at Eton. Go, Ford. Nay, I'll to him again in He'll tell me all his purpose: Sure Mrs. Page. Fear not you that: perties, And tricking for our fairies. Eva. Let us about it: It is adm and fery honest knaveries. [Exeunt PAGE, For Mrs. Page. Go, mistress Ford, Send quickly to sir John, to know h I'll to the doctor; he hath my good And none but he, to marry with Na That Slender, though well landed, And he my husband best of all affe The doctor is well money'd, and his Potent at court; he, none but he, s Though twenty thousand worthier co SCENE IV. - A Room in the Enter Host and SIMPL Host. What would'st thou have thick-skin? speak, breathe, discuss quick, snap. Sim. Marry, sir, I come to speak Falstaff from master Slender. Host. There's his chamber, his ho his standing-bed, and truckle-bed; 'ti with the story of the prodigal, fresh knock and call; he'll speak like an ginian7 unto thee: Knock, I say. Sim. There's an old woman, a fa up into his chamber; I'll be so bo till she come down: I come to speal deed. Host. Ha! a fat woman! the k robbed: I'll call.-Bully knight! I speak from thy lungs military: Art is thine host, thine Ephesian, calls. Fal. [above.] How now, mine host Host. Here's a Bohemian-Tartar t ing down of thy fat woman: Let her let her descend; my chambers are hon privacy! fye! Fal. There was, mine host, and even now with me; but she's gone. Sim. Pray you, sir, was't not the w Fal. Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell; What would you with her? Sim. My master, sir, my master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go through the streets, to know, sir, whether one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the chain, or no. Fal. I spake with the old woman about it. Fal. Marry, she says, that the very same man, that beguiled master Slender of his chain, cozened him of it. Sim. I would, I could have spoken with the woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him. Fal. What are they? let us know. Sim. I may not conceal them, sir. Sim. Why, sir, they were nothing but about mistress Anne Page; to know, if it were my master's fortune to have her, or no. Fal. 'Tis, 'tis his fortune. Sim. What, sir? Fal. To have her, -or no: Go; say, the woman told me so. Sim. May I be so bold to say so, sir? Fal. Ay, sir Tike; who more bold? Sim. I thank your worship: I shall make my master glad with these tidings. [Exit SIMPLE. Host. Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, sir John. Was there a wise woman with thee? Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host; one, that hath taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my life and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning. Enter BARDOLPH. Bard. Out, alas, sir! cozenage! mere cozenage! Host. Where be my horses? speak well of them, varletto. Bard. Run away with the cozeners: for so soon as I came beyond Eton, they threw me off, from behind one of them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs, and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses. Hist. They are gone but to meet the duke, villai.. do not say, they be fled; Germans are honest men. Enter Sir HUGH EVANS. Eva. Where is mine host? Eva. Have a care of your entertainments: there is a friend of mine come to town, tells me, there is three couzin germans, that has cozened all the hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and money. I tell you for good-will, look you: you are wise, and full of gibes and vloutingstogs; and 'tis not convenient you should be cozened: Fare you well. [Exit. Host. Hue and cry, villain, go: - assist me, knight; I am undone: -fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I am undone ! [Exeunt Host and BARDOLPH. Fal. I would, all the world might be cozened ; for I have been cozened and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the court, how I have been transformed, and how my transformation hath been washed and cudgeled, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boots with me; I warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as crest-fallen as a dried pear. I never prospered since I foreswore myself at Primero. 9 Well, if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent. Enter Mrs. QUICKLY. Now! whence come you? Quick. From the two parties, forsooth. Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and so they shall be both bestowed! I have suffered more for their sakes, more, than the villainous inconstancy of man's disposition is able to bear. Quick. And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant; speciously one of them: mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her. Fal. What tell'st thou me of black and blue? I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow, and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, deliver'd me, the knave constable had set me i' the stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch. Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber: you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good hearts, what ado here is to bring you together! Sure one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so crossed. Fal. Come up into my chamber. SCENE V. [Exeunt. - Another Room in the Garter Inn. Enter FENTON and Host. Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy, I will give over all. Fent. Yet hear me speak: Assist me in my purpose, And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee Fent. From time to time I have acquainted you [Showing the letter I'll show you here at large. Hark, good mine host To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and one, 9 A game at cards. The better to denote her to the doc (For they must all be mask'd and v That, quaint in green, she shall be With ribands pendant, flaring 'bou And when the doctor spies his vant To pinch her by the hand, and on The maid hath given consent to go Host. Which means she to de mother? Fent. Both, my good host, to go And here it rests, that you'll pro To stay for me at church, 'twixt tw And, in the lawful name of marryi To give our hearts united ceremon Host. Well, husband your dev vicar : Bring you the maid, you shall not Fent. So shall I evermore be bo Besides, I'll make a present recom Come 911 Slen. Ay, forsooth; I have spol we have a nay-word, how to know come to her in white, and cry budget; and by that we know one Shal. That's good too: But w your mum or her budget? the wh her well enough. It hath struck Page. The night is dark; light become it well. Heaven prosper man means evil but the devil, an him by his horns. Let's away; fo SCENE III. The Street i Enter Mrs. PAGE, Mrs. FORD, a Mrs. Page. Master doctor, my green: when you see your time, hand, away with her to the deaner it quickly: Go before into the par go together. Caius. I know vat I have to do Mrs. Page. Fare you well, sir. My husband will not rejoice so m of Falstaff, as he will chafe at the d my daughter: but 'tis no matter chiding, than a great deal of heartMrs. Ford. Where is Nan now of fairies? and the Welsh devil, H Mrs. Page. They are all couche by Herne's oak, with obscured ligh very instant of Falstaff's and our m at once display to the night. Mrs. Ford. That cannot choose Mrs. Page. If he be not ama mocked; if he be amazed, he wi mocked. ery. Mrs. Ford. We'll betray him fir Mrs. Page. Those who betray hi |