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Fab. I will not give my part of this sport for a that, when the image of it leaves him, he must run pension of thousands to be paid from the Sophy. mad.
Sir To. I could marry this wench for this device. Mar. Nay, but say true; does it work upon him? Sir And. So could I too.
Sir To. Like aqua vitæ. Sir To. And ask no other dowry with her, but Mar. If you will then see the fruits of the sport, such another jest.
mark his first approach before my lady: he will
come to her in yellow stockings, and 'tis a colour Enter MARIA.
she abhors; and cross-gartered, a fashion she de Sir And. Nor I neither,
tests; and he will smile upon her, which will now Fab. Here comes my noble gull-catcher. be so unsuitable to her disposition, being addicted Sir To. Wilt thou set thy foot o’my neck ? to a melancholy as she is, that it cannot but turn Sir And. Or o'mine either ?
him into a notable contempt : if you will see it, Sir To. Shall I play my freedom at tray-trip 4, follow me. and become thy bond slave ?
Sir To. To the gates of Tartar, thou most excelSir And. I'faith, or I either.
lent devil of wit ! Sir To. Why, thou hast put him in such a dream, Sir And. I'll make one too.
if that be my legs.
SCENE I. - Olivia's Garden.
And, like the haggard ', check at every feather
That comes before his eye. This is a practice, Enter VIOLA, and Clown with a tabor. As full of labour as a wise man's art : Vio. Save thee, friend, and thy musick: Dost For folly, that he wisely shows, is fit; thou live by thy tabor ?
But wise men, folly-fallen, quite taint their wit. Clo. No, sir, I live by the church,
Enter Sir Toby Belch and Sir ANDREW AGUEVio. Art thou a churchman ? Clo. No such matter, sir ; I do live by the church :
Sir To. Save you, gentleman. for I do live at my house, and my house doth stand
Vio. And you, sir. by the church.
Sir And. Dieu vous garde, monsieur. Vio. So thou may'st say, the king liess by a
Vio. Et vous aussi ; votre serviteur. beggar, if a beggar dwell near him: or, the church
Sir And. I hope, sir, you are ; and I am yours. stands by thy tabor, if thy tabor stand by the church.
Sir To. Will you encounter the house ? my niece Clo. You have said, sir. - To see this age ! - A
is desirous you should enter, if your trade be to her. sentence is but a cheveril 6 glove to a good wit ; How quickly the wrong side may be turned out- is the list 8 of my voyage.
Vio. I am bound to your niece, sir ; I mean, she ward!
Sir To. Taste your legs, sir, put them to motion. Vio. I warrant thou art a merry fellow, and carest
Vio. My legs do better understand me, sir, than for nothing.
Clo. Not so, sir, I do care for something: but in I understand what you mean by bidding me taste my conscience, sir, I do not care for you;
Sir To. I mean, to go, sir, to enter. to care for nothing, sir, I would it would make you
Vio. I will answer you with gait and entrance : invisible.
But we are prevented.
Enter Olivia and MARIA. she will keep no fool, sir, till she be married ; and Most excellent accomplished lady, the heavens rain fools are as like husbands as pilchards are to herrings, odours on you ! the husband's the bigger; I am, indeed, not her
Sir And. That youth's a rare courtier! Rain fool, but her corrupter of words.
odours ! well. Vio. I saw thee late at the count Orsino's.
Vio. My matter hath no voice, lady, but to your Clo. Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb, like
own most pregnant 9 and vouchsafed ear. the sun; it shines every where. I would be sorry,
Sir And. Odours, pregnant, and vouchsafed : sir, but the fool should be as oft with your master, as I'll get 'em all three ready. with my mistress : I think, I saw your wisdom there.
Oli. Let the garden door be shut, and leave me Vio. Nay, an thou pass upon me, I'll no more
to my hearing. with thee. Hold, there's expences for thee. Is thy
[Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir ANDREW, and MARIA. lady within ?
Give me your hand, sir. Clo. My lady is within, sir. I will construe to
Vio. My duty, madam, and most humble service. her whence you come : who you are, and what you
Oli. What is your name? would, are out of my welkin: I might say, element;
Vio. Cesario is your servant's name, fair princess. but the word is over-worn.
Oli. My servant, sir! 'Twas never merry world, Vio. This fellow's wise enough to play the fool; Since lowly feigning was call'd compliment : And, to do that well, craves a kind of wit.
You are servant to the count Orsino, youth: He must observe their mood on whom he jests,
Vio. And he is yours, and his must needs be yours: The quality of persons, and the time;
Your servant's servant is your servant, madam. * A boy's diversion, three and trip.
7 A hawk not well trained. 8 Bound, limit. • Dwells.
Oli. For him, I think not on him : for his thoughts, 'Would they were blanks, rather than fillid with me! SCENE II. - A Room in Olivia's House.
Vio. Madam, I come to whet your gentle thoughts On his behalf :
Enter Sir Toby Belch, Sir ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK, Oli. O, by your leave, I pray you;
and FABIAN. I bade you never speak again of him:
Sir And. No, faith, I'll not stay a jot longer. But, would you undertake another suit,
Sir To. Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason. I had rather hear you to solicit that,
Fab. You must needs yield your reason, sir AnThan musick from the spheres.
Sir And. Marry, I saw your niece do more favours Oli. Give me leave, I beseech you : I did send,
to the count's serving man, than ever she bestowed After the last enchantment you did here,
upon me: I saw't i'the orchard. A ring in chase of you : so did I abuse
Sir To. Did she see thee the while, old boy? tell Myself, my servant, and, I fear me, you :
me that. Under your hard construction must I sit,
Sir And. As plain as I see you now.
Fab. This was a great argument of love in her think?
Sir And. 'Slight! will you make an ass o' me? Have you not set mine honour at the stake,
Fab. I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths And baited it with all the unmuzzled thoughts
of judgment and reason. That tyrannous heart can think? To one of your Sir To. And they have been grand jury-men, receiving
since before Noah was a sailor. Enough is shown; a cyprus, not a bosom,
Fab. She did show favour to the youth in your Hides my poor heart: So let me hear you speak.
sight, only to exasperate you, to awake your dorVio. I pity you.
mouse valour, to put fire in your heart, and brimOli. That's a degree to love.
stone in your liver : You should then have accosted Vio. No, not a grise ? ; for 'tis a vulgar proof,
her; and with some excellent jests, fire-new from That very oft we pity enemies.
the mint, you should have banged the youth into Oli. Why, then, methinks, 'tis time to smile again ; dumbness. This was looked for at your hand, and 0, world, how apt the poor are to be proud!
this was baulked: the double gilt of this opporIf one should be a prey, how much the better
tunity you let time wash off, and you are now To fall before the lion, than the wolf? (Clock strikes. sailed into the north of my lady's opinion ; where The clock upbraids me with the waste of time,
you will hang like an icicle on a Dutchman's beard, Be not afraid, good youth, I will not have you :
unless you do redeem it by some laudable attempt, And yet, when wit and youth is come to harvest,
either of valour, or policy. Your wife is like to reap a proper man :
Sir And. And't be any way, it must be with There lies your way, due west. Vio
Then westward-hoe : Brownist 3, as a politician.
valour; for policy I hate : I had as lief be a Grace, and good disposition 'tend your ladyship!
Sir To. Why then, build me thy fortunes upon You'll nothing, madam, to my lord by me?
the basis of valour. Challenge me the count's youth Oli. Stay :
to fight with him ; hurt him in eleven places; my I pr’ythee, tell me, what thou think'st of me.
niece shall take note of it: and assure thyself, there Vio. That you do think, you are not what you are. is no love-broker in the world can more prevail in Oli. If I think so, I think the same of you.
man's commendation with woman, than report of Vio. Then think you right; I am not what I am.
valour. Oli. I would you were as I would have you be !
Fab. There is no way but this, Sir Andrew. Vio. Would it be better, madam, than I am,
Sir And. Will either of you bear me a challenge I wish it might ; for now I am your fool.
to him? Oli. O, what a deal of scorn looks beautiful
Sir To. Go, write it in a martial hand; be curst 4 In the contempt and anger of his lip!
and brief; it is no matter how witty, so it be eloA murd'rous guilt shows not itself more soon Than love that would seem hid : love's night is noon. licence of ink: if thou thou'st him some thrice, it
quent, and full of invention : taunt him with the Cesario, by the roses of the spring,
shall not be amiss; and as many lies as will lie in By maidhood, honour, truth, and every thing,
thy sheet of paper, although the sheet were big I love thee so, that, maugre all thy pride,
enough for the bed of Ware 5 in England, set 'em Nor wit, nor reason, can my passion hide.
down; go, about it. Let there be gall enough in Do not extort thy reasons from this clause,
thy ink: though thou write with a goose-pen, no For, that I woo, thou therefore hast no cause :
matter : About it. But, rather, reason thus with reason fetter :
Sir And. Where shall I find you ? Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.
Sir To. We'll call thee at the cubiculo 6: Go. Vio. By innocence I swear, and by my youth,
[Exit Sir ANDREW. I have one heart, one bosom, and one truth,
Fab. This is a dear manakin to you, Sir Toby. And that no woman has; nor never none
Sir To. I have been dear to him, lad ; some two Shall mistress be of it, save I alone.
thousand strong, or so. And so adieu, good madam ; never more
Fab. We shall have a rare letter from him : but Will I my master's tears to you deplore.
you'll not deliver it ? Oli. Yet come again: for thou, perhaps, may'st move
Sir To. Never trust me then; and by all means That heart, which now abhors, to like his love.
4 Crabbed. · Ready apprehension.
5 In Hertfordshire, which held forty persons, 6 Chamber.
stir on the youth to an answer. I think, oxen and For which, if I be lapsed 7 in this place,
Do not then walk too open. his liver as will clog the foot of a flea, I'll eat the Ant. It doth not fit me. Hold, sir, here's my rest of the anatomy.
purse ; Fab. And his opposite, the youth, bears in his In the south suburbs, at the Elephant, visage no great presage of cruelty.
Is best to lodge: I will bespeak our diet.
Whiles you beguile the time, and feed your knowEnter MARIA.
ledge, Sir To. Look, where the youngest wren of nine with viewing of the town ; there shall you have me.
Seb. Why I your purse ? Mar. If you desire the spleen, and will laugh
Ant. Haply, your eye shall light upon some toy yourselves into stitches, follow me : yon' gull Mal- You have desire to purchase; and your store, volio is in yellow stockings.
I think, is not for idle markets, sir. Sir To. And cross-gartered ?
Seb. I'll be your purse-bearer, and leave you for Mar. Most villainously; like a pedant that keeps
An hour. a school i'the church. — I have dogged him, like
Ant. To the Elephant his murderer : He does obey every point of the
I do remember. letter that I dropped to betray him. He does
[Ereunt. smile his face into more lines, than are in the new
SCENE IV. - Olivia's Garden. map, with the augmentation of the Indies : you have not seen such a thing as 'tis; I can hardly
Enter Olivia and MARIA. forbear hurling things at him. I know, my lady Oli. I have sent after him: He says, he'll come; will strike him ; if she do, he'll smile, and take't | How shall I feast him ? what bestow on him? for a great favour.
For youth is bought more oft, than begg'd, or borSir To. Come, bring us, bring us where he is.
Where is Malvolio? — he is sad, and civil,
And suits well for a servant with my fortunes ;
Where is Malvolio?
He's coming, madam; Seb. I would not, by my will, have troubled you;
But in strange manner. He is sure possess'd. But, since you make your pleasure of your pains, Oli. Why, what's the matter ? does he rave ? I will no further chide you.
No, madam, Ant. I could not stay behind you; my desire,
He does nothing but smile ; your ladyship
Oli. Go call him hither. I'm as mad as he,
Enter MALVOLIO. Rough and unhospitable: My willing love,
How now, Malvolio ? The rather by these arguments of fear,
Mal. Sweet lady, ho, ho. [Smiles fantastically. Set forth in your pursuit.
Oli. Smil'st thou ? Seb.
My kind Antonio, I sent for thee upon a sad 8 occasion. I can no other answer make, but, thanks,
Mal. Sad, lady? I could be sad: This does And thanks, and ever thanks : Often good turns
make some obstruction in the blood, this cross-garAre shuffled off with such uncurrent pay :
tering : But what of that, if it please the eye of But, were my worth, as is my conscience, firm, one, it is with me as the very true sonnet is : Please You should find better dealing. What's to do? one, and please all. Shall we go see the reliques of this town?
Oli. Why, how dost thou, man ? what is the Ant. To-morrow, sir; best, first, go see your
matter with thee ? lodging.
Mal. Not black in my mind, though yellow in Seb. I am not weary, and 'tis long to night;
my legs : It did come to his hands, and commands I pray you, let us satisfy our eyes
shall be executed. I think, we do know the sweet With the memorials, and the things of fame,
Oli. Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio?
Mal. To bed ? ay, sweet-heart; and I'll come I do not without danger walk these streets :
to thee. Once, in a sea-fight, 'gainst the Count his gallies,
Oli. God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so, I did some service; of such note, indeed,
and kiss thy hand so oft ?
Seb. Belike, you slew great number of his people. Mal. At your request? Yes; Nightingales an-
swer daws. Albeit the quality of the time and quarrel,
Mar. Why appear you with this ridiculous boldMight well have given us bloody argument.
ness before my lady? It might have since been answer'd in repaying Mal. Be not afraid of greatness : 'Twas well writ. What we took from them; which for traffick's sake Oli. What meanest thou by that, Malvolio? Most of our city did: only myself stood out :