To be my fellow-servant to your ladyship. S7. Too low a mistress for so high a servant. Pro. Not so, sweet lady; but too mean a servant To have a look of such a worthy mistress. Val. Leave off discourse of disability:Sweet lady, entertain him for your servant. Pro. My duty will I boast of, nothing else. Pro. No That you are worthless. Ser. Madam, my lord your father would speak with you. Sil. I'll wait upon his pleasure. Come, Sir Thurío, [Exit SER. Go with me:-Once more, new servant, welcome: came? [Exeunt SILVIA, THURIO, and SPEED. Val. Now, tell me, how do all from whence you [commended. Pro. Your friends are well, and have them much Val. And how do yours? Pro. I left them all in health. [love? Val. How does your lady? and how thrives your Pro. My tales of love were wont to weary you; I know you joy not in a love-discourse. Val. Ay, Proteus, but that life is alter'd now: I have done penance for contemning love; Whose high imperious thoughts have punish'd me With bitter fasts, with penitential groans, With nightly tears, and daily heart-sore sighs; For, in revenge of my contempt of love, Love hath chas'd sleep from enthralled eyes, my And made them watchers of mine own heart's sorrow. O, gentle Proteus, love's a mighty lord; Nor to his service no such joy on earth! Pro. Enough; I read your fortune in your eye: Pro. I will not flatter her. Val. O! flatter me; for love delights in praises. Pro. When I was sick, you gave me bitter pills; And I must minister the like to you. Val. Then speak the truth by her; if not divine, Val. Sweet, except not any; Pro. Have I not reason to prefer mine own? Pro. Why, Valentine, what braggardism is this? Val. Pardon me, Proteus: all I can is nothing To her, whose worth makes other worthies nothing: She is alone. Pro. Then let her alone. [own; Val. Not for the world: why, man, she is mine And I as rich in having such a jewel As twenty seas, if all their sand were pearl, The water nectar, and the rocks pure gold. Forgive me, that I do not dream on thee, Because thou seest me dote upon my love, My foolish rival, that her father likes, Only for his possessions are so huge, Is gone with her along; and I must after, For love, thou know'st, is full of jealousy. Pro. But she loves you? Val. Ay, and we are betroth'd; With all the cunning manner of our flight, [Exit VAL Even as one heat another heat expels, [Exit. SCENE V.-The same.-A Street. Enter SPEED and LAUNCE. Speed. Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Milan. Laun. Forswear not thyself, sweet youth; for I am not welcome. I reckon this always-that a man is never undone, till he be hanged; nor never welcome to a place, till some certain sho be paid, and the hostess say, Welcome. Speed. Come on, you madcap, I'll to the ale house with you presently: where, for one shot of fivepence, thou shalt have five thousand welcomes But, sirrah, how did thy master part with Madam Julia? Laun. Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted very fairly in jest. Speed. But shall she marry him? Laun. No. Speed. How then? Shall he marry her? Speed. What, are they broken? Laun. No; they are both as whole as a fish. Speed. Why then, how stands the matter with them? Laun. Marry, thus; when it stands well with him, it stands well with her. Speed. What an ass art thou! I understand thee not. Laun. What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My staff understands me. Speed. What thou say'st? Laun. Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I'll but lean, and my staff understands me. Speed. It stands under thee, indeed. [one. Laun. Why, stand under and understand is all Speed. But tell me true, will't be a match? Laun. Ask my dog: if he say ay, it will; if he say no, it will; if he shake his tail, and say nothing, it will. Speed. The conclusion is then, that it will. Laun. Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable. Speed. 'Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how say'st thou, that my master is become a notable lover? me. Laun. I never knew him otherwise. [to be. Laun. A notable lubber, as thou reportest him Speed. Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistakest [master. Laun. Why, fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy Speed. I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover. Laun. Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself in love. If thou wilt go with me to the ale-house, so; if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian. Speed. Why? Laun. Because thou hast not so much charity in thee, as to go to the ale with a Christian: Wilt thou go? Speed. At thy service. [Exeunt. SCENE VI. The same.-An Apartment in the Palace. Enter PROTEUS. Pro. To leave my Julia, shall I be forsworn; Love bade me swear, and love bids me forswear; But there I leave to love, where I should love. I cannot now prove constant to myself, SCENE VII.-Verona.-A Room in Julia's Enter JULIA and LUCETTA. Luc. Alas! the way is wearisome and long. Luc. Better forbear, till Proteus make return. Jul. Oh! know'st thou not, his looks are my soul's food? Pity the dearth that I have pined in, Luc. I do not seek to quench your love's hot fire; But qualify the fire's extreme rage, Lest it should burn above the bounds of reason. Jul. The more thou dam'st it up, the more it burns; The current that with gentle murmur glides, Thou know'st being stopp'd, impatiently doth rage; But, when his fair course is not hindered, He makes sweet music with the enamell'd stones, Luc. But in what habit will you go along? Luc. You must needs have them with a cod-piece Luc. A round hose, madam, now's not worth a Unless you have a cod-piece to stick pins on. Lauc. If you think so, then stay at home, and go not. Luc. Then never dream on infamy, but go. Jul. That is the least, Lucetta, of my fear: Luc. All these are servants to deceitful men. ACT SCENE I.-Milan.-An Ante-room in the Duke's | Enter DUKE, THURIO, and PROTEUS. [Exit THURIO. Which else no worldly good should draw from me. to him! But truer stars did govern Proteus' birth: III. [Exeunt Hath made me publisher of this pretence. Enter VALENTINE. Duke. Sir Valentine, whither away so fast? Duke. Be they of much import? Val. The tenor of them doth but signify Duke. Nay, then no matter; stay with me awhile; Val. I know it well, my lord; and, sure, the match Duke. No, trust me; she is peevish, sullen, fro- Val. What would your grace have me to do in this? Pro. Know, noble lord, they have devis'd a mean Besides, the fashion of the time is chang'd;) How he her chamber-window will ascend, And with a corded ladder fetch her down; How, and which way, I may bestow myself, Val. Win her with gifts, if she respect not words; tents her: Send her another; never give her o'er; Duke. But, she I mean is promis'd by her friends That no man hath recourse to her by night. [dow? Val. What lets, but one may enter at her winDuke. Her chamber is aloft, far from the ground; And built so shelving that one cannot climb it Without apparent hazard of his life. Val. Why, then, a ladder, quaintly made of cords, To cast up with a pair of anchoring hooks, Would serve to scale another Hero's tower, So bold Leander would adventure it. Duke. Now, as thou art a gentleman of blood, Advise me where I may have such a ladder. Val. When would you use it? pray, sir, tell me, that. Duke. This very night; for love is like a child, That longs for every thing that he can come by. Val. By seven o'clock I'll get you such a ladder. Duke. But, hark thee; I will go to her alone; How shall I best convey the ladder thither? Val. It will be light, my lord, and you may bear it Under a cloak, that is of any length. Duke. A cloak as long as thine will serve the turn? Val. Ay, my good lord. Duke. Then let me see thy cloak: I'll get me one of such another length. Val. Why, any cloak will serve the turn, my lord. Duke. How shall I fashion me to wear a cloak?I pray thee, let me feel thy cloak upon me.What letter is this same? What's here?-"To Silvia?" And here an engine fit for my proceeding! I'll be so bold to break the seal for once. [Reads. "My thoughts do harbour with my Silvia nightly; And slaves they are to me that send them flying; Oh! could their master come and go as lightly, Himself would lodge, where senseless they are lying. My herald thoughts in thy pure bosom rest them; While I, their king, that thither them importune, Do curse the grace that with such grace hath bless'd them, Because myself do want my servants' fortune: I curse myself, for they are sent by me, [be." That they should harbour where their lord should What's here? "Silvia, this night I will enfranchise thee:" "Tis so; and here's the ladder for the purpose:Why, Phaeton, (for thou art Merops' son) Wilt thou aspire to guide the heavenly car, And with thy daring folly burn the world? Wilt thou reach stars, because they shine on thee? Go, base intruder! overweening slave! Bestow thy fawning smiles on equal mates; And think my patience, more than thy desert, Will give thee time to leave our royal court, Val. And why not death, rather than living torment? To die, is to be banish'd from myself; Enter PROTEUS and LAUNce. Pro. Run, boy, run, run, and seek him out. Pro. What seest thou? Laun. Him we go to find: there's not a hair on's head, but 'tis a Valentine. Pro. Valentine? Val. No. word. [news, So much of bad already hath possess'd them. What is your news? Pro. Ay, ay; and she hath offer'd to the doom, (Which, unrevers'd, stands in effectual force,) A sea of melting pearl, which some call tears: Those at her father's churlish feet she tender'd; With them, upon her knees, her humble self; Wringing her hands, whose whiteness so became them, As if but now they waxed pale for woe: But neither bended knees, pure hands held up, Val. No more; unless the next word that thou speak'st Have some malignant power upon my life: Pro. Cease to lament for that thou canst not help, Val. I pray thee, Launce, an if thou seest my boy, Bid him make haste, and meet me at at the north gate. Pro. Go, sirrah, find him out. Come, Valentine. Val. O my dear Silvia! hapless Valentine! [Exeunt VALENTINE and PROTEUS. Laun. I am but a fool, look you: and yet I have the wit to think my master is a kind of a knave: but that's all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now, that knows me to be in love: yet I am in love; but a team of horse shall not pluck that from me: nor who 'tis I love, and yet 'tis a woman: but what woman, I will not tell myself; and yet 'tis a milkmaid: yet 'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips: yet 'tis a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a water spaniel, which is much in a bare Christian. Here is a catelog [pulling out a paper] of her conditions. Imprimis, "She can fetch and carry." Why, a horse can do no more; nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only carry; therefore is she better than a jade. Item, "She can milk;" look you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands. Speed. Imprimis, "She can milk." Laun. Ay, that she can. Speed. Item, "She brews good ale." Laun. And thereof comes the proverb: Blessing of your heart, you brew good ale. Speed. Item, "She can sew.' Laun. That's as much as to say, Can she so? Speed. Item, "She can knit." Laun. What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when she can knit him a stock. Speed. Item, "She can wash and scour." Laun. A special virtue; for then she need not be washed and scoured. Speed. Item, "She can spin." Laun. Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can spin for her living. Speed. Item," She hath many nameless virtues." Laun. That's as much as to say, bastard virtues; that, indeed, know not their fathers, and therefore have no names. Speed. Here follow her vices. Laun. Close at the heels of her virtues. Speed. Item, "She is not to be kissed fasting, in respect of her breath." Laun. Well, that fault may be mended with breakfast. Read on. Speed. Item, "She hath a sweet mouth." Laun. That makes amends for her sour breath Speed. Item," She doth talk in her sleep." Laun. It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk. Speed. Item, "She is slow in words." Laun. O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words is a woman's only virtue. I pray thee, out with't, and place it for her chief virtue. Speed. Item, "She is curst." [bite. Laun. Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to Speed. Item," She will often praise her liquor." Laun. If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I will; for good things should be praised. Speed. Item, "She is too liberal." Laun. Of her tongue she cannot; for that's writ down she is slow of: of her purse she shall not; for that I'll keep shut: now, of another thing she may; and that I cannot help. Well, proceed. Speed. Item, "She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults." Laun. Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article. Rehearse that once more. Speed. Item," She hath more hair than wit,❞— Laun. More hair than wit, it may be; I'll prove it. The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit is more than the wit; for the greater hides the less. What's next? [out. Speed. "And more faults than hairs,"Laun. That's monstrous: Oh! that that were Speed. "And more wealth than faults." Laun. Why, that word makes the faults gra cious. Well, I'll have her: and if it be a match, as nothing is impossible, Speed. What then? Laun. Why, then will I tell thee, that thy master stays for thee at the north gate. |