BRADSHAW'S GUIDE. AIR-The Devil among the Tailors. ID you ever?—No, you never-dreamt of such absurdities Enough to make your noddle ache-it is, upon my word it is; A handy thing for travelling I've pretty often heard it is, And so I've been investing in a "Bradshaw's But what with all the figures to be hunting up or diving at, And what with all your efforts to discover what they're driving at The stations you are leaving, or the places you're arriving at, I'm hanged if you can fathom in a Bradshaw's Guide." In a fuss you mount a 'bus, which article vehicular particular 168 BRADSHAW'S GUIDE. "Do look alive; how slow you drive!" you shout in his auricular; "My train's eleven-twenty by my 'Bradshaw's Guide!"" Arriving at the station in a fuming and a flurrying, You find a lot of passengers all hurrying and skurrying; Old ladies and old gentlemen are bothering and worrying For bits of information out of "Bradshaw's In your book you take a look, to see how far your station is, Begin to doubt, on finding out how tough the explanation is; And when you've read until your head in utter agitation is, You've not a high opinion of your "Brad shaw's Guide." The startings and the stoppages have taxed my own urbanity, Until my mighty intellect is verging on insanity; If any book was ever yet a torture to humanity, Decidedly the volume is a "Bradshaw's Guide." DOUBT AND DECISION. I. Y mind is dubious, dreary, dark, Not a glimpse of day, not a sunbeam spark. The organ of thought is a darkened room. II. Got it at last! By Jove, what fun !— Made such a hash of my brains, I think. Open the window and pull the blind up. SELF-DENIAL. HE most unselfish man am I That ever was created: And if you think this truth a lie, Let four-and-twenty hours go round On And still, wherever I am found, I study self-denial. Whene'er I see an oyster-shop, That hunger is a trial; But proudly I forego the meal, SELF-DENIAL. Within my heart, a while ago, And, though my merit may escape I think that in its noblest shape If any luxury is dear, I never stay to buy it: If any task is too severe, Though Fate may empty on my head I trust it will at least be said I study self-denial. 171 |