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BRADSHAW'S GUIDE.

AIR-The Devil among the Tailors.

ID you ever?—No, you never-dreamt of such absurdities

Enough to make your noddle ache-it is,

upon my word it is;

A handy thing for travelling I've pretty often heard it

is,

And so I've been investing in a "Bradshaw's
Guide."

But what with all the figures to be hunting up or

diving at,

And what with all your efforts to discover what they're driving at

The stations you are leaving, or the places you're arriving at,

I'm hanged if you can fathom in a Bradshaw's Guide."

In a fuss you mount a 'bus, which article vehicular
Is very slow-because, you know, the driver's not

particular

168

BRADSHAW'S GUIDE.

"Do look alive; how slow you drive!" you shout in

his auricular;

"My train's eleven-twenty by my 'Bradshaw's Guide!""

Arriving at the station in a fuming and a flurrying, You find a lot of passengers all hurrying and skurrying;

Old ladies and old gentlemen are bothering and worrying

For bits of information out of "Bradshaw's
Guide."

In your book you take a look, to see how far your station is,

Begin to doubt, on finding out how tough the explanation is;

And when you've read until your head in utter agitation is,

You've not a high opinion of your "Brad

shaw's Guide."

The startings and the stoppages have taxed my own urbanity,

Until my mighty intellect is verging on insanity;

If any book was ever yet a torture to humanity, Decidedly the volume is a "Bradshaw's Guide."

DOUBT AND DECISION.

I.

Y mind is dubious, dreary, dark,

Not a glimpse of day, not a sunbeam spark.
No making it up to confront a question
Unsolved for want of a mere suggestion.
All is mystery, all is gloom ;

The organ of thought is a darkened room.
The window down and the blind pulled closely,
And somewhere a figure that broods morosely.

II.

Got it at last! By Jove, what fun !—
Clear as the noonday; clear as the sun.
What was I dreaming about, I wonder?-
What wild fit was I labouring under?
Something I took to eat or drink

Made such a hash of my brains, I think.
Well, no matter! I've made my mind up ;-

Open the window and pull the blind up.

SELF-DENIAL.

HE most unselfish man am I

That ever was created:

And if you think this truth a lie,
Just hear it demonstrated.

Let four-and-twenty hours go round
any clock or dial;

On

And still, wherever I am found,

I study self-denial.

Whene'er I see an oyster-shop,
If I obeyed my wishes,
I tell you frankly, I should stop
To taste the little fishes;
My purse is empty, and I feel

That hunger is a trial;

But proudly I forego the meal,
And study self-denial.

SELF-DENIAL.

Within my heart, a while ago,
Young CUPID came to lord it:
But am I wedded? Bless you, no!
I never could afford it.

And, though my merit may escape
The cynic's cold espial,

I think that in its noblest shape
I study self-denial.

If any luxury is dear,

I never stay to buy it:

If any task is too severe,
I scarcely ever try it.

Though Fate may empty on my head
The wrath of every vial,

I trust it will at least be said

I study self-denial.

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