EXERCISE 5 PICTURING WITH DETAILS WELL CHOSEN You have seen that knowing exactly what you intend to make people understand and realize helps you in knowing what details to put in. The last scene described in the preceding exercise is much more real to you because it is pictured at some particular moment on a certain kind of day than it would have been if it had merely been described in general. The effect of heat helps to draw together all the details and make a single strong impression. The single point of a thorn goes in farther than a chestnut bur. If you study the two little pictures that follow, they may help you to get this important idea of a single impression and to give a vivid picture yourself, as you might wish to do in telling a story or making a point at any time. What contrasting impressions of the two rooms do you get? What sentence in each description lets you know the general effect of the room? What details help you to imagine it? Does each detail contribute to the general effect? In the first picture does the word funny fit the rest of the feeling in the description? What might you substitute? Will timeorder take care of the order of details when you are picturing what you see all at once? But do you always notice everything at once? Why do you suppose both writers mention the fire first? What makes one fire seem cold and the other warm? 1 You will find Kipling's "Jungle Books" and "Captains Courageous ” full of details well chosen for a purpose. See, for example, in the "First Jungle Book (Scribner's edition) the contrasting pictures of drought (pp. 78-82) and of spring in the jungle (pp. 266–267), and in "Captains Courageous" the descriptions of the sea after a fog (p. 89) and of a fishingboat at anchor in a rough sea (pp. 97-98). A ROOM IN THE RED LION INN IN LEYDEN It was a cold, cheerless room. A fire had been newly kindled in the burnished stove, and seemed to shiver even while it was trying to burn. The windows, with their funny little panes, were bare and shiny; and the cold, waxed floor looked like a sheet of yellow ice. Three rush-bottomed chairs stood stiffly against the wall, alternating with three narrow wooden bedsteads, that made the room look like the deserted ward of a hospital. - MARY MAPES DODGE, "Hans Brinker " THE TRANSFORMATION OF SARA'S DISMAL ROOM In the grate, which had been empty and rusty and cold when she left it, but which was now blackened and polished up quite respectably, there was a glowing, blazing fire. On the hob was a little brass kettle, hissing and boiling; spread upon the floor was a warm, thick rug; before the fire was a folding-chair, unfolded and with cushions on it; by the chair was a small folding-table, unfolded, covered with a white cloth, and upon it were spread small covered dishes, a cup and saucer, and a teapot; on the bed were new, warm coverings, a curious wadded silk robe, and some books. The little, cold, miserable room seemed changed into Fairyland. FRANCES HODGSON BURNETT, Sara Crewe " ९९ When you have studied these paragraphs carefully, try to picture some little scene, outdoors or in, in such a way as to make the reader feel some one general characteristic of that scene. In this way you will make your purpose more definite-you will not merely try to describe a view from your window, or a certain room, but you will picture the bustling or the deserted street, or the untidy or the gloomy or the richly-furnished room; and this definite purpose will help you choose details to fit. You might 1 Picturing with a definite purpose may be made part of a larger project. See Appendix G. picture the pleasant earnestness and industry of your room at study hour to a friend who has criticized the spirit of your school severely; or the jollity of one moment at play hour in your street to somebody who has pitied the city boys; or the cosy, cheerful look of the home sitting-room to your mother, who is away and is worrying for fear you are not being properly cared for; or the gayety of the scene at the last football game to somebody who used to enjoy the games with you; or anything else you please to anyone else you please. Be brief; make every stroke count. But at the same time be sure to make a word picture that those who hear or read your composition may see. Try for a perfect class record in end punctuation of sentences and in spelling. EXERCISE 6 STUDYING AND MEMORIZING A POET'S PICTURE FULL OF WELL-CHOSEN DETAILS Here are three word pictures of soldiers camping or on the march, caught by an eyewitness who happened to be a poet too. They are Civil War pictures. In what respect are the subjects alike? What, however, is the exact purpose of each picture? Do the details fit? As you read try to see and hear with the poet and to feel with him. If you have skill in drawing or painting, try illustrating one or more of these stanzas. What do you have to leave out of the painted picture which the word picture can give? What definite picturing nouns do you find? Memorize the picture you like best. Of course if you do so you should first know the meaning of every word. What two unusual words do you find? A line in long array where they wind betwixt green islands, to the musical clank, - hark Behold the silvery river, in it the splashing horses loitering stop to drink, Behold the brown-faced men, each group, each person a picture, the negligent rest on the saddles, Some emerge on the opposite bank, others are just entering the ford — while, Scarlet and blue and snowy white, The guidon flags flutter gayly in the wind. BY THE BIVOUAC'S FITFUL FLAME By the bivouac's fitful flame, A procession winding around me, solemn and sweet and slowbut first I note, The tents of the sleeping army, the fields' and woods' dim outline, The darkness, lit by spots of kindled fire, the silence, Like a phantom far or near an occasional figure moving, The shrubs and trees, (as I lift my eyes they seem to be stealthily watching me,) While wind in procession thoughts, O tender and wondrous thoughts, Of life and death, of home and the past and loved, and of those that are far away; A solemn and slow procession there as I sit on the ground, BIVOUAC ON A MOUNTAIN SIDE I see before me now a traveling army halting, Below a fertile valley spread, with barns and the orchards of summer, Behind, the terraced sides of a mountain, abrupt, in places rising high, Broken, with rocks, with clinging cedars, with tall shapes dingily seen, The numerous camp-fires scatter'd near and far, some away up on the mountain, The shadowy forms of men and horses, looming, large-sized, flickering, And over all the sky - WALT WHITMAN, "Leaves of Grass' |