Ser. Madam, the young gentleman of the count Orsino's is returned; I could hardly entreat him back: he attends your ladyship's pleasure.

Mal. Go off; I discard you; let me enjoy my private; go off.

Mar. Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! did not I tell you?-Sir Toby, my lady prays you to have a care of him.

Mal. Ah, ha! does she so?

Sir To. Go to, go to; peace, peace, we must deal gently with him; let me alone. How do you, Malvolio? how is't with you? What, man! defy the devil: consider, he's an enemy to mankind. Mal. Do you know what you say?

Mar. La you, an you speak ill of the devil, how he takes it at heart! Pray God, he be not bewitched!

Fab. Carry his water to the wise woman.

Mar. Marry, and it shall be done to-morrow morning, if I live. My lady would not lose him for more than I'll say.

Mal. How now, mistress?

Mar. O lord!

Sir To. Pr'ythee, hold thy peace; this is not the way: Do you not see, you move him? let me alone with him.'

Fab. No way but gentleness; gently, gently: the fiend is rough, and will not be roughly used. Sir To. Why, how now, my bawcock?4 how dost thou, chuck?

Mal. Sir?

Sir To. Ay, Biddy, come with me. What, man! 'tis not for gravity to play at cherry-pits with Satan : Hang him, foul collier 16

Mar. Get him to say his prayers; good sir Toby, get him to pray.

Mal. My prayers, minx?

Mar. No, I warrant you, he will not hear of

godliness.

shallow things: I am not of your element; you
Mal. Go, hang yourselves all! you are idle
shall know more hereafter.
[Exit.

Sir To. Is't possible?

Fab. If this were played upon a stage now, 1 could condemn it as an improbable fiction. Sir To. His very genius hath taken the infection

Mar. Nay, pursue him now; lest the device take air, and taint.

Fab. Why, we shall make him mad, indeed.
Mar. The house will be the quieter.

Sir To. Come, we'll have him in a dark room,

Oli. I'll come to him. [Exit Servant.] Good Maria, let this fellow be looked to. Where's my cousin Toby? Let some of my people have a special care of him; I would not have him miscarry for the half of my dowry. [Exe. Olivia and Mar. Mal. Oh, ho! do you come near me now? no worse man than sir Toby to look to me? This con-of the device, man. curs directly with the letter: she sends him on purpose, that I may appear stubborn to him; for she incites me to that in the letter. Cast the humble slough, says she; be opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants, let thy tongue tang with arguments of state, put thyself into the trick of sin-and bound. My niece is already in the belief that gularity;- -and, consequently, sets down the manner how; as, a sad face, a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in the habit of some sir of note, and so forth. I have limed her 2 but it is Jove's doing, and Jove make me thankful! And, when she went away now, Let this fellow be looked to: Fellow !3 not Malvolio, nor after my degree, but fellow. Why, every thing adheres together; that no dram of a scruple, no scruple of a scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous or unsafe circumstance,-What can be said? Nothing, that can be, can come between me and the full prospect of my hopes. Well, Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked. Re-enter Maria, with Sir Toby Belch, and Fabian.

|

he is mad; we may carry it thus for our pleasure,
and his penance, till our very pastime, tired out of
breath, prompt us to have mercy on him : at which
time, we will bring the device to the bar, and
crown thee for a finder of madmen. But see, but see.

Enter Sir Andrew Ague-cheek.
Fab. More matter for a May morning.
Sir And. Here's the challenge, read it; I war-
rant, there's vinegar and pepper in't.
Fab. Is't so saucy?

Sir And. Av, is it, I warrant him: do but read. Sir To. Give me [reads.] Youth, whatsoever thou art, thou art but a scurvy fellow.

Fab Good, and valiant.

Sir To. Which way is he, in the name of sanctity? Sir To. Wonder not, nor admire not in thy If all the devils in hell be drawn in little, and Le-mind, why I do call thee so, for I will show thee gion himself possessed him, yet I'll speak to him Fab. Here he is, here he is :-How is't with you,

sir? how is't with you, man?

(1) Hot weather madness.

(2) Caught her as a bird with birdlime.

(3) Companion.

no reason for't.

Fab. A good note: that keeps you from the blow of the law.

(4) Jolly cock, beau and coq.

(5) A play among boys.

(6) Colliers were accounted great cheats.

Sir To. Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in || A my sight she uses thee kindly: but thou liest in thy throat, that is not the matter I challenge thee for. Fab. Very brief, and exceeding good sense-less. Sir To. I will way-lay thee going home; where if it be thy chance to kill me,

Fab. Good.

Sir To. Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain. Fab. Still you keep o' the windy side of the law: Good.

Sir To. Fare thee well; And God have mercy upon one of our souls! He may have mercy upon mine; but my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy Andrew Ague-cheek.

sworn enemy.

Sir To. If this letter moves him not, his legs cannot: I'll give't him.

Mar. You may have very fit occasion for't; he is now in some commerce with my lady, and will by and by depart.

Sir To. Go, sir Andrew; scout me for him at the corner of the orchard, like a bum-bailiff: so soon as ever thou seest him, draw; and, as thou drawest, swear horrible; for it comes to pass oft, that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twanged off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earned him. Away.

fiend, like thee, might bear my soul to hell. [Ex.
Re-enter Sir Toby Belch, and Fabian.
Sir To. Gentleman, God save thee.
Vio. And you, sir.

Sir To. That defence thou hast, betake thee to't: of what nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know not; but thy intercepter, full of despight, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the orchard end: dismount thy tuck,2 be yare in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful, and deadly.

Vio. You mistake, sir; I am sure, no man hath any quarrel to me; my remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence done to any man.

Sir To. You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake what youth, strength, skill, and wrath, can furnish you to your guard; for your opposite hath in him

man withal.

Vio. I pray you, sir, what is he?

rapier, and on carpet consideration; but he is a Sir To. He is knight, dubbed with unhacked devil in private brawl: souls and bodies hath he divorced three; and his incensement at this moment is so implacable, that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of death and sepulchre: hob, nob, is his word; give't, or take't.

Sir And. Nay, let me alone for swearing. [Ex. Vio. I will return again into the house, and deSir To. Now will not I deliver his letter: for the sire some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I behaviour of the young gentleman gives him out have heard of some kind of men, that put quarrels to be of good capacity and breeding; his employ-purposely on others, to taste their valour: belike, ment between his lord and my niece confirms no this is a man of that quirk.4 less; therefore this letter, being so excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the youth, he will out of a very competent injury; therefore, get you Sir To. Sir, no; his indignation derives itself find it comes from a clodpole. But, sir, I will de-on, and give him his desire. Back you shall not to liver his challenge by word of mouth; set upon the house, unless you undertake that with me, Ague-cheek a notable report of valour; and drive which with as much safety you might answer him: the gentleman (as, I know, his youth will aptly re- therefore, on, or strip your sword stark naked; ceive it,) into a most hideous opinion of his rage, for meddle you must, that's certain, or forswear to skill, fury, and impetuosity. This will so fright wear iron about you. them both, that they will kill one another by the look, like cockatrices.

Enter Olivia and Viola.

Fab. Here he comes with your niece: give them way, till he take leave, and presently after him. Sir To. I will meditate the while upon some horrid message for a challenge.

[Exeunt Sir Toby, Fabian, and Maria.
Oli. I have said too much unto a heart of stone,
And laid mine honour too unchary1 out:
There's something in me, that reproves my fault;
But such a headstrong potent fault it is,

That it but mocks reproof.

Vio. This is as uncivil, as strange. I beseech you, do me this courteous office, as to know of the knight what my offence to him is; it is something of my negligence, nothing of my purpose.

by this gentleman till my return. [Exit Sir Toby, Sir To. I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you Vio. Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter? Fab. I know, the knight is incensed against you, even to a mortal arbitrement;5 but nothing of the circumstance more.

Vio. I beseech you, what manner of man is he? Fab. Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him by his form, as you are like to find him in the proof of his valour. He is, indeed, sir, the most

Vio. With the same 'haviour that your passion skilful, bloody, and fatal opposite that you could

bears,

Go on my master's griefs.

Oli. Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my

ture;

possibly have found in any part of Illyria: will you pic-him, if I can. walk towards him? I will make your peace with

Refuse it not, it hath no tongue to vex you:
And, I beseech you, come again to-morrow.
What shall you ask of me, that I'll deny ;
That honour, sav'd, may upon asking give?
Vio. Nothing but this, your true love for my

master.

Oli. How with mine honour may I give him that Which I have given to you?

Vio.

I will acquit you. Oli. Well, come again to-morrow: Fare thee well;

(1) Uncautiously. (2) Rapier. (3) Ready. (4) Sort. (5) Decision. (6) Adversary.

one,

Vio. I shall be much bound to you for't: I am that would rather go with sir priest, than sir knight: I care not who knows so much of my mettle. [Exeunt.

Re-enter Sir Toby, with Sir Andrew.
not seen such a virago. I had a pass with him,
Sir To. Why, man, he's a very devil; I have
rapier, scabbard, and all, and he gives me the
evitable; and on the answer, he pays you as surely
stuck-in,7 with such a mortal motion, that it is in-

(7) Stoccata, an Italian term in fencing.
(8) Does for you.

Ant. But, Ó, how vile an idol proves this god!Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame.In nature there's no blemish, but the mind; Vio. I do assure you, 'tis against my will. None can be call'd deform'd, but the unkind: [Draws. Virtue is beauty; but the beauteous-evil Ant. Put up your sword;-If this young gen-Are empty trunks, o'erflourish'd3 by the devil. 1 Off. The man grows mad; away with him. Come, come, sir.

Scene I, II.

TWELFTH-NIGHT; OR, WHAT YOU WILL.

yet.

Sir To. I dare lay any money, 'twill be nothing || In this uncivil and unjust extent3

ACT IV.

[Exeunt. Against thy peace. Go with me to my house;
And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks
This ruffian hath botch'd up, that thou thereby
May'st smile at this: thou shalt not choose, but go;
Do not deny: beshrew his soul for me,

SCENE I-The street before Olivia's house. He started one poor heart of mine in thee.

Enter Sebastian and Clown.

Clo. Will you make me believe, that I am not sent for you?

Seb. Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow; Let me be clear of thee.

Clo. Well held out, i'faith! No, I do not know you; nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her; nor your name is not master Cesario; nor this is not my nose neither.Nothing, that is so, is so.

Seb. I pr'ythee, vent! thy folly somewhere else; thou know'st not me.

Clo. Vent my folly! he has heard that word of some great man, and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney.-I pr'ythee now, ungird thy strangeness, and tell me what I shall vent to my lady; shall I vent to her, that thou art coming?

Seb. I pr'ythee, foolish Greek, depart from me;
There's money for thee; you tarry longer,
I shall give worse payment.

Clo. By my troth, thou hast an open hand: These wise men, that give fools money, get themselves a good report after fourteen years' purchase. Enter Sir Andrew, Sir Toby, and Fabian. Sir And. Now, sir, have I met you again? there's

for you.

Seb. What relish is in this? how runs the stream?
Or I am mad, or else this is a dream :-
Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep;

If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!
Oli. Nay, come, I pr'ythee: 'would, thou’dst be
rul'd by me!

Seb. Madam, I will.

Oli.

O, say so, and so be! [Exe.

SCENE II-A room in Olivia's house. Enter
Maria and Clown.

Mar. Nay, I pr'ythee, put on this gown, and
this beard; make him believe thou art sir Topas
[Exit Maria.
the curate; do it quickly: I'll call sir Toby the
whilst.

Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in't; and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown. I am not fat enough to become the function well; nor lean enough to be thought a good student; but to be said, an honest man, and a good housekeeper, goes as fairly, as to say, a careful man, and a great scholar. The competitors' enter.

Enter Sir Toby Belch and Maria. parson. Sir To. Jove bless thee, master

Clo. Bonos dies, sir Toby: for as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wit[Striking Sebastian.tily said to a niece of king Gorboduc, That, that is, Seb. Why, there's for thee, and there, and there is: so I, being master parson, am master parson; [Beating Sir Andrew. for what is that, but that? and is, but is? are all the people mad? Sir To. To him, sir Topas. Sir To. Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er the house.

Clo. This will I tell my lady straight: I would not be in some of your coats for two-pence.

Exit Clown. [Holding Seb. Sir To. Come on, sir; hold. Sir And. Nay, let him alone, I'll go another way to work with him; I'll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria: though I struck him first, yet it's no matter for that.

Seb. Let go thy hand.

Sir To. Čome, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young soldier, put up your iron: you are well fleshed; come on.

Seb. I will be free from thee. What would'st
thou now?

If thou dar'st tempt me further, draw thy sword.
[Draws.
Sir To. What, what? Nay, then I must have
an ounce or two of this malapert blood from you.
[Draws.

Enter Olivia.

Oli. Hold, Toby; on thy life, I charge thee, hold.
Sir To. Madam 2

Oli. Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch,
Fit for the mountains, and the barbarous caves,
Where manners ne'er were preach'd! out of my
sight!

Be not offended, dear Cesario:-
Rudesby,2 be gone!-I pr'ythee, gentle friend,

[Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Fabian.
Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway

(1) Let out. (2) Rude fellow. (3) Violence.
(4) Made up. (5) Ill betide.

Clo. What, hoa, I say,-Peace in this prison! Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; a good knave.

Mal. [in an inner chamber.] Who calls there? Clo. Sir Topas, the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatic.

Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, good sir Topas, go to my lady.

Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man? talkest thou nothing but of ladies? Sir To. Well said, master parson.

Mal. Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged! good sir Topas, do not think I am mad; they have laid me here in hideous darkness.

Clo. Fie, thou dishonest Sathan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with courtesy: say'st thou, that house is dark?

Mal. As hell, sir Topas.

Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows, transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stones towards the southnorth are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction?

Mal. I am not mad, sir Topas; I say to you, this house is dark.

Clo. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness, but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled, than the Egyptians in their fog.

Mal. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never man thus abused: I am no more

(6) Disguise. (7) Confederates.
(8) Bow-windows.

M

mad than you are; make the trial of it in any con-[ stant question.1

Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras, concerning wild-fowl?

Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply ||I inhabit a bird.

Clo. What thinkest thou of his opinion? Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion.

Clo. Fare thee well: remain thou still in darkness: thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well.

Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas,

Sir To. My most exquisite sir Topas!
Clo. Nay, I am for all waters.2

Mar. Thou might'st have done this without thy beard, and gown; he sees thee not.

Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring|| me word how thou findest him: I would we were

well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were; for I am now so far in offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber. [Exe. Sir Toby and Mar. Clo. Hey, Robin, jolly Robin,

Tell me how thy lady does.

Mal. Fool,

[Singing

Clo. She loves another--Who calls, ha?

Mal. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, and ink, paper; as I am a gentleman, I will live to be

and

thankful to thee for't.

Clo. Master Malvolio!
Mal. Ay, good fool.

Clo. Alas, sir, how fell you beside your five wits? Mal. Fool, there was never man so notoriously abused: I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art. Clo. But as well? then you are mad, indeed, if| you be no better in your wits than a fool.

Mal. They have here propertied me; keep me in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to face me out of my wits. Člo. Advise you what you say; the minister is here.-Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore! endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy

vain bibble babble.

Mal. Sir Topas,

Clo. Maintain no words with him, good fellow. Who, I, sir? not I, sir. God b'wi'you, good sir Topas.-Marry, amen.-I will, sir, I will.

Mal. Fool, fool, fool, I say,

Clo. Alas, sir, be patient. What say you, sir: I am shents for speaking to you.

Mal. Good fool, help me to some light, and some paper; I tell thee, I am as well in my wits, as any man in Illyria.

Clo. Well-a-day, that you were, sir!

Mal. By this hand, I am: good fool, some ink, paper, and light, and convey what I will set down to my lady; it shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did.

Clo. I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you not mad, indeed? or do you but counterfeit ?

(1)Regular conversation.

(2) Any other gem as a topaz. (3) Senses. (4) Taken possession of.

(5) Scolded, reprimanded.

his

Mal. Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true.
Clo. Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman, till I see
brains. I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink.
Mal. Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree:
pr'ythee, be gone.

SCENE III.-Olivia's garden. Enter Sebastian.
Seb. This is the air; that is the glorious sun;
This pearl she gave me, I do feel't, and see't:
And though 'tis wonder that enwraps me thus,
Yet 'tis not madness. Where's Antonio then?
I could not find him at the Elephant:
Yet there he was; and there I found this credit,?
That he did range the town to seek me out.
His counsel now might do me golden service:
For though my soul disputes well with my sense,
That this may be some error, but no madness,
Yet doth this accident and flood of fortune,
So far exceed all instance, all discourse,8
That I am ready to distrust mine eyes,
To any other trust but that I am mad,
And wrangle with my reason, that persuades me
Or else the lady's mad; yet, if 'twere so,
She could not sway her house, command her fol-

lowers, 10

Take, and give back, affairs, and their despatch,
With such a smooth, discreet, and stable bearing,
As, I perceive, she does: there's something in't,
That is deceivable. But here comes the lady.

Enter Olivia and a Priest.

Oli. Blame not this haste of mine: if you mean
Now go with me, and with this holy man,
well,
Into the chantryll by: there, before him,
And underneath that consecrated roof,
Plight me the full assurance of your faith;
That my most jealous and too doubtful soul
May live at peace: he shall conceal it,
What time we will our celebration keep
Whiles!2 you are willing it shall come to note;
According to my birth.-What do you say?

Seb. I'll follow this good man, and go with you;
And, having sworn truth, ever will be true.

Oli. Then lead the way, good father;————And heavens so shine, That they may fairly note this act of mine! [Exe.