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Besides, her intercession chaf’d him so,
Val. No more, unless the next word that thou speak'st
Pro. Čease to lament for that thou canst not help,
be here, though thou art hence,
Val. I pray thee, Launce, and if thou seeft my boy,
Pro. Go, sirrah, find him out: come, Valentine.
Laun. I am but a fool, look you, and yet I have the wit to think
master is a kind of a knave: but that's all one, if he be but one kind of knave. He lives not now that knows me to be in love; yet I am in love; but a team of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor who 'tis I love; and yet ’tis a woman; but
what woman I will not tell myself; and yet ’tis a milkmaid; yet ’tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips ; - yet ’tis a maid, for she is her master's maid; and serves for wages: she hath more qualities than a water-spaniel, which is much in a bare christian. Here is the cat-log (pulling out a paper] of her conditions ; imprimis, she can fetch and carry; why, a horse can do no more; nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only carry; therefore is she better than a jade. Item, she can milk; look you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands.
Enter Speed. Speed. How now, signior Launce? what news with your mastership?
Laun. With my master's ship? why, it is at sea.
Speed. Well, your old vice still; mistake the word : what news then in your paper ?
Laun. The blackeît news that ever thou heard'ft.
Laun. O illiterate loiterer, it was the son of thy grandmother; this proves that thou canst not read.
Speed. Come, fool, come; try me in thy paper.
Laun. And thereof comes the proverb, Blessing of your heart, you brew good ale.
Speed. Item, she can sow.
Laun. What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when she can knit him a stock !
Speed. Item, she can wash and scour.
Laun. A special virtue, for then she need not to be wash'd and fcour'd.
Speed. Item, she can spin.
Laun. Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can fpin for her living.
Speed. Item, she hath many nameless virtues.
Laun. That's as much as to say, bastard virtues, that, indeed, know not their fathers, and therefore have no names.
Speed. Here follow her vices.
Laun. O villain ! that set down among her vices ! to be slow in words is a woman's only virtue: I pray thee, out with’t, and place it for her chief virtue.
Speed. Item, she is proud.
Laun. Out with that too: it was Eve's legacy, and cannot be ta’en from her.
Speed. Item, she hath no teeth.
Laun. Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to bite.
Laun. If her liquor be good, she shall; if she will not, I will, for good things should be praised. Speed. Item, she is too liberal.
La un. Of her tongue she cannot, for that's writ down she is flow of; of her purse The shall not, for that I'll keep shut; now, Voc. I.
of another thing she may, and that cannot I help. Well, proceed.
Speed. Item, she hath more hairs than wit, and more faults. than hairs, and more wealth than faults.
Laun. Stop there; I'll have her ; she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that article. Rehearse that once more.
Speed. Item, she hath more hair than wit.
Laun. More hair than wit; it may be, I'll prove it: the cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the falt; the hair that covers the wit is more than the wit; for the greater hides the less. What's next?
Speed. And more faults than hairs.
Laun. Why, that word makes the faults gracious : well, i'll have her; and if it be a match, as nothing is impossible –
Speed. What then?
Laun. Why, then will I tell thee, that thy master stays for thee at the north-gate.
Speed. For me?
Laun. For thee? ay; who art thou ? he hath stay'd for a better man than thee.
Speed. And must I go to him?
Laun. Thou must run to him ; for thou hast stay'd so long that going will scarce serve the turn.
Speed. Why didft not tell me sooner? pox on your love-letters!
Laun. Now will he be swing’d for reading my letter: an unmannerly Nave, that will thrust himself into fecrets. I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's correction.
Enter Duke and Thurio.
Thu. Since his exile she hath despis’d me most,
That I am desperate of obtaining her.
Duke. This weak impress of love is as a figure
Pro. Gone, my good lord.
Duke. So I believe; but Thurio thinks not so.
Pro. Longer than I prove loyal to your grace,
Duke. Thou know'st, how willingly I would effect
Duke. And also, I do think, thou art not ignorant
Duke. Ay, and perversely she persevers fo.
Pro. The best way is to Nander Valentine
Duke. Ay, but she'll think that it is spoke in hate.
Pro. Ay, if his enemy deliver it:
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