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Pinch him, fairies, mutually;

Pinch him for his villany;


Pinch him, and burn him, and turn him about, Till candles and starlight and moonshine be out. During this song they pinch FALSTAFF. DOCTOR CAIUS comes one way, and steals away a boy in green; SLENDER another way, and takes off a boy in white; and FENTON comes, and steals away Mrs ANNE Page. A noise of hunting is heard within. All the Fairies run away. FALSTAFF pulls off his buck's head, and rises.


Page. Nay, do not fly; I think we have watch'd you


Will none but Herne the hunter serve your turn?

Mrs Page. I pray you, come, hold up the jest no


Now, good Sir John, how like you Windsor wives?
See you these, husband? do not these fair yokes
Become the forest better than the town?


Ford. Now, sir, who's a cuckold now? Master Brook, Falstaff's a knave, a cuckoldly knave; here are his horns, Master Brook: and, Master Brook, he hath enjoyed nothing of Ford's but his buck-basket, his cudgel, and twenty pounds of money, which must be paid to Master Brook; his horses are arrested for it, Master Brook.

97 mutually] mutuall Q3.

100 The stage direction which follows

was inserted by Theobald from (Q1Q2) with some verbal changes. 101 Enter...] Enter...They lay hold on him. Rowe.

watch'd] match'd Collier MS. 101, 102 Nay...turn?] As in Rowe. Prose in Ff Q3.

102 [taking off his buckes head and discouering F. Collier MS.

105 these, husband] these husband F1Q3. these husbands F¿FF these, hus


[blocks in formation]

Mrs Ford. Sir John, we have had ill luck; we could never meet. I will never take you for my love again; but I will always count you my deer.


Fal. I do begin to perceive that I am made an ass. Ford. Ay, and an ox too: both the proofs are extant. Fal. And these are not fairies? I was three or four times in the thought they were not fairies: and yet the guiltiness of my mind, the sudden surprise of my powers, drove the grossness of the foppery into a received belief, in despite of the teeth of all rhyme and reason, that they were fairies. See now how wit may be made a Jack-a-Lent, when 'tis upon ill employment!



Evans. Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your desires, and fairies will not pinse you. Ford. Well said, fairy Hugh.

Evans. And leave you your jealousies too, I pray you. Ford. I will never mistrust my wife again, till thou art able to woo her in good English.


Fal. Have I laid my brain in the sun and dried it, that it wants matter to prevent so gross o'erreaching as this? Am I ridden with a Welsh goat too? shall I have a coxcomb of frize? 'Tis time I were choked with a piece of toasted cheese.


Evans. Seese is not good to give putter; your pelly is all putter.

Fal. 'Seese' and 'putter'? Have I lived to stand at the taunt of one that makes fritters of English? This is enough to be the decay of lust and late-walking through the realm.

Mrs Page. Why, Sir John, do you think, though we would have thrust virtue out of our hearts by the head and shoulders, and have given ourselves without scruple to hell, that ever the devil could have made you our delight?

120 the sudden] with the sudden Hanmer.

132 matter] butter Gould conj.


136 pelly] F2F3F4. belly F1Q3.
138 at] in Rowe (ed. 2).


Ford. What, a hodge-pudding? a bag of flax?
Mrs Page. A puffed man?



Old, cold, withered, and of intolerable entrails? Ford. And one that is as slanderous as Satan? Page. And as poor as Job?

Ford. And as wicked as his wife?


Evans. And given to fornications, and to taverns, and sack, and wine, and metheglins, and to drinkings, and swearings, and starings, pribbles and prabbles?

Fal. Well, I am your theme: you have the start of me; I am dejected; I am not able to answer the Welsh flannel ignorance itself is a plummet o'er me: use me as you will.


Ford. Marry, sir, we'll bring you to Windsor, to one Master Brook, that you have cozened of money, to whom you should have been a pandar: over and above that you have suffered, I think to repay that money will be a biting affliction.


Page. Yet be cheerful, knight: thou shalt eat a posset to-night at my house; where I will desire thee to laugh at my wife, that now laughs at thee: tell her Master Slender hath married her daughter.


Mrs Page. [Aside.] Doctors doubt that: if Anne Page be my daughter, she is, by this, Doctor Caius' wife.

145 hodge-pudding] hog's pudding Pope.

hog-pudding Collier MS.

148 as slanderous] slanderous Q3.
152 sack, and wine] sacks, and wines

153 starings] F1Qз. staring F2F3F4.
156 is a plummet o'er me] is plummet

o'er me Q3. has a plume o' me Johnson conj. is a planet o'er me Farmer conj.

162 After this line Theobald inserts

from (Q1Q2): Mrs Ford. Nay, husband, let That go to make amends; Forgive that Summ, and so we'll all be Friends. Ford. Well, here's my hand: all's forgiven at last. Keightley adds, Fal. It hath cost me well; I have been well pinch'd and wash'd.

167 Mrs Page.] Mis. Ford. Q3.

[Aside] Theobald.


Slen. Whoa, ho ho, father Page!

Page. Son, how now! how now, son! have you dispatched?


Slen. Dispatched! I'll make the best in Gloucestershire know on't; would I were hanged, la, else!

Page. Of what, son?


Slen. I came yonder at Eton to marry Mistress Anne Page, and she's a great lubberly boy. If it had not been i' the church, I would have swinged him, or he should have swinged me. If I did not think it had been Anne Page, would I might never stir!-and 'tis a postmaster's boy. Page. Upon my life, then, you took the wrong. Slen. What need you tell me that? I think so, when I took a boy for a girl. If I had been married to him, for all he was in woman's apparel, I would not have had him. Page. Why, this is your own folly. Did not I tell how you should know my daughter by her garments? 185 Slen. I went to her in white, and cried 'mum,' and she cried 'budget,' as Anne and I had appointed; and yet it was not Anne, but a postmaster's boy.


Mrs Page. Good George, be not angry: I knew of your purpose; turned my daughter into green; and, indeed, she is now with the doctor at the deanery, and there married.


169 SCENE VI. Pope.

Enter Slender.] Enter Slender,
crying. Collier MS.

Whoa] What Rowe.

170 how now! how now] How now Q3. 174 what, son?] what sonne? F1Q3.

177 i the] 't F2.

186 white] Pope. greene Ff Q3.

188 After this line Theobaid inserts from (Q1Q2): Eva. Jeshu! Master Slender, cannot you see but marry boys? Page. O, I am vext at Heart. What shall I do?

190 into green] Rowe (ed. 2). into white Ff. in white Q3.

Enter CAIUS.

Caius. Vere is Mistress Page? By gar, I am cozened: I ha' married un garçon, a boy; un paysan, by gar, a boy; it is not Anne Page: by gar, I am cozened.


Mrs Page. Why, did you take her in green? Caius. Ay, by gar, and 'tis a boy: by gar, I'll raise all Windsor. [Exit.

Ford. This is strange. Who hath got the right Anne? Page. My heart misgives me :-here comes Master Fenton.


Enter FENTON and ANNE Page.

How now, Master Fenton !

Anne. Pardon, good father! good my mother, pardon! Page. Now, mistress, how chance you went not with Master Slender?


Mrs Page. Why went you not with master doctor,


Fent. You do amaze her: hear the truth of it.
You would have married her most shamefully,
Where there was no proportion held in love.
The truth is, she and I, long since contracted,
Are now so sure that nothing can dissolve us.
The offence is holy that she hath committed;
And this deceit loses the name of craft,
Of disobedience, or unduteous title;

193 SCENE VII. Pope.

194 un garçon] Capell. oon Garsoon

F1Q3 one Garsoon F2F3F4.

un paysan] Capell. oon pesant Ff Q3

boy] boe F2F3F4.

196 did you] did you not Rowe.

green] Pope. white FfQ3.


197 by gar] Capell. bee gar F1Q3. be gar F2F3F4

by gar] Capell. be gar Ff Q3.

203 [Kneeles. Collier MS.

214 title] guile Collier, ed. 2 (Collier MS.). wile Dyce (ed. 2). will Cartwright conj.

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