And, while the hallow'd mixture thickens,
Signing death-warrants for the chickens :
Else, greatly pensive, poring o'er

Accounts her cook had thumb'd before;
One eye cast up upon that great
book,
Yclep'd The Family Receipt Book;
By which she's rul'd in all her courses,
From stewing figs to drenching horses.
-Then pans and pickling skillets rise,
In dreadful lustre to our eyes.

With store of sweetmeats ranged in order,
And potted nothings on the border;
While salves and caudle-cups between,
With squalling children, close the scene."

We find here, too, the source of one of those familiar lines, which so many quote without knowing whence they come;-one of those stray fragments, whose parentage is doubtful, but to which (as the law says of illegitimate children) "pater est populus."

"You write with ease, to show your breeding,
But easy writing's curst hard reading.”

In the following passage, with more of the tact of a man of the world than the ardour of a poet, he dismisses the object nearest his heart with the mere passing gallantry of a compliment :—

"O! should your genius ever rise,
And make you Laureate in the skies,
I'd hold my life, in twenty years,
You'd spoil the music of the spheres.

-Nay, should the rapture-breathing Nine
In one celestial concert join,

Their sovereign's power to rehearse,
-Were you to furnish them with verse,
By Jove, I'd fly the heavenly throng,
Tho' Phœbus play'd and Linley sung."

On the opening of the New Assembly Rooms at Bath, which commenced with a ridotto, Sept. 30, 1771, he wrote a humorous description of the entertaininent, called "An Epistle from Timothy Screw to his Brother Henry, Waiter at Almack's," which appeared first in the Bath Chronicle, and was so eagerly sought after, that Crutwell, the editor, was induced to publish it in a separate form. The allusions in this trifle have, of course, lost their zest by time; and a specimen or two of its humour will be all that is necessary here.

"Two rooms were first opened-the long and the round

one,

(These Hogstyegon names only serve to confound one,) Both splendidly lit with the new chandeliers,

With drops hanging down like the bobs at Peg's ears:
While jewels of paste reflected the rays,

And Bristol-stone diamonds gave strength to the blaze:
So that it was doubtful, to view the bright clusters,
Which sent the most light out, the ear-rings or lustres.

Nor less among you was the medley, ye fair!

I believe there were some beside quality there :
Miss Spiggot, Miss Brussels, Miss Tape, and Miss
Socket,

Miss Trinket, and aunt, with her leathern pocket,

54

MEMOIRS OF R. B. SHERIDAN.

With good Mrs. Soaker, who made her old chin go, For hours, hobnobbing with Mrs. Syringo:

Had Tib staid at home, I b'lieve none would have miss'd her,

Or pretty Peg Runt, with her tight little sister," etc. etc.

55

CHAPTER II.

DUELS WITH MR. MATHEWS.-MARRIAGE WITH

MISS LINLEY.

TOWARDS the close of the year 1771, the elder Mr. Sheridan went to Dublin, to perform at the theatre of that city,-leaving his young and lively family at Bath, with nothing but their hearts and imaginations to direct them.

The following letters, which passed between him and his son Richard during his absence, though possessing little other interest than that of having been written at such a period, will not, perhaps, be unwelcome to the reader :

"MY DEAR RICHARD,

Dublin, Dec. 7th, 1771.

"How could you be so wrong-headed as to commence cold bathing at such a season of the year, and I suppose without any preparation too? You have paid sufficiently for your folly, but I hope the ill effects of it have been long since over. You and your brother are fond of quacking, a most dangerous disposition with regard to health. Let slight things pass away of themselves; in a case that requires assistance do nothing without advice. Mr. Crook is a very able man in his Should a physician be at any time wanting, apply to

way.

Dr. Nesbitt, and tell him that at leaving Bath 1 recommended all to his care. This indeed I intended to have mentioned to him, but it slipped my memory.

you

I

forgot Mr. Crooke's bill, too, but desire I may have the amount by the next letter. Pray what is the meaning of my hearing so seldom from Bath? Six weeks here, and but two letters! You were very tardy; what are your sisters about? I shall not easily forgive any future omissions. I suppose Charles received my answer to his, and the 20l. bill from Whately. I shall order another to be sent at Christmas for the rent and other necessaries. I have not time at present to enter upon the subject of English authors, etc. but shall write to you upon that head when I get a little leisure. Nothing can be conceived in a more deplorable state than the stage of Dublin. I found two miserable companies opposing and starving each other. I chose the least bad of them; and, wretched as they are, it has had no effect on my nights, numbers having been turned away every time I played, and the receipts have been larger than when I had Barry, his wife, and Mrs. Fitz-Henry to play with me. However, I shall not be able to continue it long, as there is no possibility of getting up a sufficient number of plays with such poor materials. I purpose to have done the week after next, and apply vigorously to the material point which brought me over. I find all ranks and parties very zealous for forwarding my scheme, and have reason to believe it will be carried in parliament after the recess, without opposition. It was in vain to have attempted it before, for never was party violence *

The money-bill, brought forward this year under Lord Townsend's administration, encountered violent opposition, and was finally rejected.