CCXII. THE STOCKS.

An Irishman was advised to put his money in the stocks, but declined doing so, lest he should not be able to get it out again, as had often been the case with his legs.

CCXIII. OSTLER.

A gentleman, whose horse had been defrauded of his corn, told the ostler that his name was a contraction of oat-stealer.

CCXIV. SHOOTING RUBBISH.

A gentleman, seeing a carter shooting rubbish in front of his house, bade him take it to Hell and shoot it there. "Perhaps, Sir," replied the Carter, "I'd better take it to Heaven: 'twould be more out of your Honour's way."

CCXV. THROUGH THE WOOD, LADDIE.

A gentleman at a party was fined so often for punning, that some one ventured to lay him a wager against his forbearing to make puns for the space of 20 minutes. The gentleman accepted the wager and retired to the window in order to be safe from temptation. Whilst there, he saw a bricklayer slip his foot through a hole in a scaffold, and involuntarily began to whistle the tune "Through the wood, laddie."

CCXVI. MEDICINE.

A lady, urging her husband to take some medicine, said she would be hanged if it did not cure him. The husband

immediatey took it, being convinced that it must be serviceable one way or the other.

CCXVII. LEARNING.

A short man once told his little boy that, if he did not learn, he would never grow tall. The child replied "Then, I suppose, Father, you never learnt any thing."

CCXVIII. DEATH.

A Lady, of great age, once observed to a very old man, “It seems as if Death had forgotten you and me." "Hush, ma'am," said the gentleman, "if he hears you, he will remember us."

CCXIX. THE SIGN OF THE BEAR.

A painter, unable to pay his reckoning at an inn, agreed to paint a new sign (the Bear) for his Landlord and said that he would recommend a chain to be attached to the animal. The landlord, to save the additional cost, refused. Some little time afterwards a storm washed out the bear, and the Landlord, meeting with the Painter, reproached him for his dishonesty. "Did I not tell you that there ought to have been a chain?" said the Painter. "The bear would have been there still."

CCXX. COLMAN.

An antiquary asked the origin of the phrase "Ill give you a cheque on Aldgate pump." "Oh" said Colman, I suppose it's because persons go there to take draughts (drafts.)

CCXXI. ROGERS.

Rogers, speaking to Wilberforce of the naked Achilles in the park, said it was strange that one who had made so many breaches in Troy should not have a single pair for himself.

CCXXII. WEDLOCK.

A Barrister asked a witness if he was born in wedlock. "No, sir:" said he, "I was born in Devonshire."

CCXXIII. ON OATH.

A barrister, trying to bully and brow-beat a Coachman, reminded him that he was on oath and adjured him to speak the truth. "You drive the Barnstaple coach, my friend, do you not?" "No," said the Coachman, "I drive the horses."

CCXXIV. BOOK-BINDING.

An Irishman, being asked whether he would like a book bound in Russia or in Turkey, said he thought it might be done quite as well in Ireland.

CCXXV. NOTE OF INTERROGATION.

Pope, who was deformed, superciliously asked a gentleman, with whom he was arguing, if he knew what a Note of Interrogation was? The gentleman replied "Yes, sir; it is a little crooked thing which asks questions."

CCXXVI. NOTE OF ADMIRATION.

A wit, being asked to define a note of admiration, replied

impromptu :

It is, it is I know not what,

It is a dash above a dot,
Presenting to one's contemplation

A perfect point of admiration!

CCXXVII. IRISH REGIMENTS.

The King of France complained that his Irish regiments gave him much uneasiness. "Sir," said their commander, "your Majesty's enemies make the same complaint."

CCXXVIII. Sir R. Peel and Lord Morpeth.

Aug. 12, 1837. Amongst the points of comparison between the Speeches of LORD MORPETH and SIR ROBERT PEEL are the allusions to the Queen: how different the taste, the feeling! Sir Robert avails himself of Burke's much hacknied and very theatrical description of Mary Antoinette,-how ill-omened the allusion, how repugnant in every way, all that is not fulsome flattery, being morally disparaging; but Sir Robert could not resist the malignant temptation of darkening the back-ground of the compliment with Revolution,-to drag in the idea of the Revolution an innocent and admirably educated Sovereign is likened to the light and ill-fated Queen of France. Compare the exalted moral views opened by Lord Morpeth with the mixed clap-trap, and tolling-bell of Sir Robert Peel.

SIR ROBERT PEEL

He did not believe that there was ever a Sovereign, who possessed in a more eminent degree the attachment of her subjects of all parties than the present Queen of England. All hailed the advent to power of her present Majesty as a great compensation for the heavy loss, which had been sustained in the death of the amiable and lamented PRINCESS CHARLOTTE. Indeed he thought the beautiful and eloquent description given by the great Mr Burke of the Queen of France might with great justice be applied to their present Sovereign. ‘I think,' said MR BURKE, 'it was about 16 or 17 years ago, I first saw the Queen of France, and never did there light on that orb, which she scarcely seemed to touch, a lovelier vision. I saw her just above the horizon, glittering like the morningstar, full of life, and splendour, and joy!'

LORD MORPETH :

Reference has been frequently made to the reigns of our former female Sovereigns, and indeed every Englishman must fondly look back to the vigor of ELIZABETH, and the victories of ANNE; but in shaping the desired career for their fair and young successor, we do not wish that her name should rise above the wrecks of the Armada,-we do not seek to emblazon her throne with the trophies of such fields as Blenheim, or the yet more transcendent Waterloo. Let her have glories, but such as are not drained from the Treasury, or dimmed with the blood of her people. Let hers be the glories of peace, of industry, of commerce, and of genius, of justice made more universal,―of virtue more honoured,-of religion more beloved,

of striking the last manacle from the limb of the slave, and holding forth the earliest gospel-light to the unwakened nations, -the glories that arise from gratitude for benefits conferred, and the blessings of a loyal and chivalrous, because a contented and admiring people.