Imagens das páginas
PDF
ePub

LXVIII. Dr White - &c.

Some one said of Dr Jos. White that he was the greatest impostor since the days of Mahomet.

Kett began with Bampton-Lectures and ended with a JestBook; Parr assisted him in the Lectures; he destroyed himself. Parr said of Mackintosh that, like the rest of his countrymen, he had a hard head, a close heart, and an open hand: [was this the right form ?]

LXIX. Scudamore.

LONDON, April 23, 1836. MR PRYME dined with me in Covent-Garden, and I afterwards drank tea with him. He said that

vote for the

SCUDAMORE, Member for Hereford, came up to impeachment of LORD MELVILLE, at a time when he was exceedingly ill, and when he was strongly advised not to run the risk. He patriotically despised the advice; while he was in the House, he was urged to retire, but he said, 'No, I have only a few weeks to live, and what matters it, if I shorten my life two or three days by coming up to vote? I shall vote, if I die at my post.' He died a fortnight afterwards; but for him the votes would have been equal, and the question would have been lost by the casting vote of the Speaker. The inhabitants of Hereford immediately called a meeting, and, as the only thing in their power, determined to elect without trouble or expense in his place his son or nephew.

It was ALLEY, the OLD BAILEY Counsel lately deceased, who wanted the money from SHERIDAN. PRYME was told the story by a friend, who had it from ALLEY himself.

ALLEY waited on SHERIDAN and told him how essential it was for him to have this the only money which he could command to complete his law-studies, his prospects in life

[ocr errors]

would be ruined without it. Sheridan promised to let him have it in a few weeks by a particular day. ALLEY'S friends laughed at the notion,-the day came, weeks elapsed, at length he waited on Sheridan, who received him with bitter reproaches for not having called for it: Sir, you have put me to the greatest possible inconvenience, I have been tempted by distress again and again to make use of it, I have resisted the temptation, had I used it, you would never have believed that I had set it apart for you; it is sealed up with your name, here it is; take it and be thankful.

[ocr errors]

LXX. Chinese imitations.

"My Lords, there is a story about some Chinese manufactures rather in point: An English gentleman, wanting a dessert set, made after a peculiar pattern, sent over to China a specimen dish, ordering that it should be exactly copied for the whole service. It unfortunately happened that in the pattern dish, so sent over, the Chinese manufacturers discovered a crack : the consequence was, that the entire service sent over to the party ordering it, had a crack in each article carefully copied after the specimen-crack. So the noble and learned Lord said that, if this Bill were not marked in every part with the crack 'à la Chinoise,' it shall be called not according to pattern, and not be accepted at all."

LORD HOLLAND's Speech on the IRISH Municipal Bill, Morn. Chron., June 28, 1836.

LXXI. The letter B.

At Dr Farmer's table, when the gentlemen had each drank their toasts, the ladies, it was observed that all their names began with the letter B; on which Dr F. spoke (not wrote) the following. How strange it seems Dame Fortune should decree,

That all our fav'rites should begin with B.

[ocr errors]

Thus may we solve this paradox of ours:
The bees light oft'nest on the sweetest flowers.*

30 Torrington-Square, Aug. 14. '36.

LXXII. Scaliger.

By MR CROWE, ZOOPHILOS.

Mr Hunter mentioned a book, given by Mr Turner of Newcastle to the Philosophical and Literary Society of that place, in which Joseph Scaliger is concerned as the author of some verses.

LXXIII. Dr Macginn.

Oct. 6, 1836. DR MACGINN's last joke: -The other night, as Mr Newland informed me, Dr Macginn, who was very drunk, had catted, and was leaning against Temple-Bar, when some one asked him which was Wine office Court; his answer was, 'I do not know, but here is Wine off his stomach.

LXXIV. Parr.

Dr Parr's schoolfellow, Mr Rigge of Walthamstow, said that, when Parr was very young, he was so full of talk as to be noisy, and that Sir Wm Jones was not thought much of till he broke his leg, when he read a good deal.

Dr Cooke speaking of Balloons, said

Cœlum ipsum petimus stultitia.

Why, if Salmasius was so sagacious and learned, was he beaten by Milton? Because, as Dr Parr said, he was a mere hireling, who had no heart in what he wrote.

Basil Montagu went to St Alban's to write the life of Lord

* I have seen these lines, with some slight variations, ascribed to Professor Person.

Bacon; wearied with recent labor,he ejaculated in the coach, 'Oh Bacon, Bacon, you will be the death of me!' 'Why then' said a Lady in the coach, ' would it not be well for you to eat less of it!'

Dr Lee thinks Mr Montagu's Letter the most interesting thing in the Life of Mackintosh. Oct. 28, 1836.

LXXV. How TO DRESS A SAINT:

Copy of the Introductory Part of a Reply to a Letter from the Rev. P.... H...., of Chelsea, addressed to E. H. B.

DEAR SIR,

JACKSON'S Coffee-house,

Bow-ST, Dec. 15, 1836.

My acknowledgments are due for your Letter, which with my Reply will be placed among my Archives, ornament my Memoirs, and delight an unborn age.

-

2. Your principles of CHRISTIANITY I commiserate; - your conversion I pray for; your morals will be seriously improved, if you commune less with a heart, which deceives you, and more with the world, which will unmask you, if you drop the character of a censor in matters, where your conduct is not without its imprudences, regrets, and remorses, if you are more of a true Israelite, and less of an over-righteous and smalltithe Pharisee, if you emulate the good Samaritan rather than the unjust Judge.

3 I am grieved, dear Sir, that in retrograding from Classical learning, you have graduated in Christian fanaticism, and have yet to learn that Christian charity is the beginning, the middle, and the end of the Christian religion.

+ Mr B's aspirations have in this instance been only half fulfilled. The REPLY has been preserved, as he predicted, to "ornament the Memoirs," but the letter which called it forth has perished, or, at least, it is not among these papers.

4. While you usurp the authority of a Christian Minister in a case, where you have no spiritual jurisdiction, you exhibit dogmatism enough to satisfy the conscience of a Horsley, and sermonology enough to fill with credit a Simeonite pulpit.

5. The accompanying Paper, which develops my principles of religion, will, I hope, serve as a Homily appropriate for the occasion, and guide you into Christian grace and truth. I remain, dear Sir very truly yours,

E. H. Barker.

The Retort Courteous: Or THE REV. P.... H..., and E. H. B..... Esq.

LXXVI. A smart retort.

LORD ERSKINE declared in a large party, in which he and Sheridan were present, that 'a wife was only a tin canister tied to one's tail,' on which Sheridan presented Lady Erskine with the following lines:

'LORD ERSKINE at women presuming to rail,

Calls a wife a 'tin canister tied to one's tail;'

And the fair LADY ANNE, while the subject he carries on,

Seems hurt at his LORDSHIP's degrading comparison:

But wherefore degrading? considered aright,

A canister's polished, and useful, and bright,

And should dirt its original purity hide,

That's the fault of the puppy, to whom it is tied.'

Scotsman. The Courier, Dec. 21, 1836.

LXXVII. Anecdote of sheep-washing.

April 4, 1836. Mr Giles told to me the following story. His father went on horse-back to see a flock of sheep washed in the neighbouring river. As he sat on his horse, watching the proceedings, a gaily dressed young gentleman passed by, also on horse-back; and was greatly amused by the mode in which the shepherd precipitated the animals successively into the water,

« AnteriorContinuar »