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letting you know that I lodge in Pall Mall-LURE
-Colonel, I am your most humble servant. Colonel S. Hold, sir, you sha’n’t go yet; I ha’n’t delivered all my message.
Sir H. Upon my faith, but you have, colonel.
I know you're like to burst.
(Laugh, and point at one another. Colonel S. Ay, with all my heart; ha! ha! Well, well, that's forced, Sir Harry.
Sir H. I was never better pleased in all my life, by Jupiter.
Colonel S. Well, Sir Harry, 'tis prudence to hide your concern, when there's no help for it. But, to be serious, now; the lady has sent you back all your papers there. I was so just as not to look upon them.
Sir H. I'm glad on’t, sir ; for there were some things that I would not have you see.
Colonel S. All this she has done for my sake; and I desire
any further pretensions for your own sake. So, honest, good-natured Sir Harry, I'm your humble servant.
[Exit. Sir H. Ha! ha! ha! poor colonel! Oh, the delight of an ingenious mistress! what a life and briskness it adds to an amour. A legerdemain mistress, who, presto! pass! and she's vanished; then hey! in an instant in your arms again.
[Going. Enter VIZARD. Vizard. Well met, Sir Harry-what news from the island of love?
Sir H. 'Faith, we made but a broken voyage by your chart; but now I am bound for another port; Í told you the colonel was my rival. Vizard. The colonel.cursed misfortune ! another.
Sir H. But the civilest in the world ; he brought me word where my mistress lodges. The story's too long to tell you now, for I must fly.
Vizard. What, have you given over all thoughts of Angelica ?
Sir H. No, no; I'll think of her some other time. But now for the Lady Lurewell. Wit and beauty calls.
That mistress ne'er can pall her lover's joys,
Vizard. The colonel my rival too!-How shall I manage? There is but one waya-him and the knight will I set a-tilting, where one cuts t'other's throat, and the survivor's hanged : so there will be two rivals pretty decently disposed of, [E.cit.
LADY LUREWELL'S Lodgings.
Enter LADY LUREWELL and PARLY.
Lady L. Has my servant brought me the money from my merchant?
Parly. No, madam : he met Alderman Smuggler at Charing Cross, who has promised to wait on you himself immediately.
Lady L. 'Tis odd that this old rogue should pretend to love me, and at the same time cheat me of my money:
Parly. 'Tis well, madam, if he don't cheat you of
your estate ; for you say the writings are in his hands. Lady L. But what satisfaction can I get of him? -Oh! here he comes !
Enter SMUGGLER. Mr Alderman, your servant; have you brought me any money, sir?
Smug. 'Faith, madam, trading is very dead; what with paying the taxes, losses at sea abroad, and maintaining our wives at home, the bank is reduced very low ; money is very scarce.
Lady L. Come, come, sir; these evasions won't serve your turn: I must have money, sir-I hope you don't design to cheat me?
madam! have a care what you say: I'm an alderman, madam
-Cheat you, madam! I have been an honest citizen these five-andthirty years.
Lady L. An honest citizen! Bear witness, ParlyI shall trap him in more lies presently. Come, sir, though I am a woman, I can take a remedy.
Smug. What remedy, madam? You'll go to law, will ye? I can maintain a suit of law, be it right or wrong, these forty years-thanks to the honest practice of the courts.
Lady L. Sir, I'll blast your reputation, and so ruin your credit.
Smug. Blast my reputation! he! he! he! Why, I'm a religious man, madam; I have been very instrumental in the reformation of manners. Ruin my credit! Ah, poor woman! There is but one way, madam
have a sweet leering er? Lady L. You instrumental in the reiormation !How?
Smug. I whipp'd all the pau-pau women out of the parish - Ah, that leering eye! Ah, that lip! that lip!
Lady L. Here's a religious rogue for you, now! -As I hope to be saved, I have a good mind to beat the old monster.
[Aside. Smug. Madam, I have brought you about two hundred and fifty guineas (a great deal of money, as times go) and
Lady L. Come, give 'em me. Smug. Ah, that hand, that hand! that pretty, soft, white-l have brought it; but the condition of the obligation is such, that whereas that leering eye, that pouting lip, that pretty soft hand, that---you understand me; you understand; I'm sure you do, you little rogue
Lady L. Here's a villain, now, so covetous, that he would bribe me with my own money. I'll be revenged. (Aside. Upon my word, Mr Alderman, you make me blush, --- What d'ye mean, pray?
Smug. See here, madam. [Pulls his Purse out.).— Buss and guinea ! buss and guinea ! buss and guinea!
Lady L. Well, Mr Alderman, you have such pretty winning ways, that I will-ha! ha! ha!
Smug. Will you, indeed, he ! be! he! my little cocket? And when, and where, and how?
Lady L. It will be a difficult point, sir, to secure both our honours : you must therefore be disguised, Mr Alderman.
Smug. Pshaw! no matter ; I am an old fornicator ; I'm not half so religious as I seem to be. You little rogue, why I'm disguised as I am ; our sanctity is all outside, all hypocrisy.
Lady L. No man is seen to come into this house after dark; you must therefore sneak in, when
'tis dark, in woman's clothes, Smug. With all
heartpose, my little cocket ; I love to be disguised: 'ecod, I make a very handsome woman, 'ecod, I do.
I have a suit on pura
Enter SERVANT, who whispers LADY LUREWELL.
Lady L. Oh, Mr Alderman, shall I beg you to · walk into the next room? Here are some strangers coming up Smug. Buss and guinea first-Ah, my little cocket!
Enter Sir H. WILDAIR.
Sir H. My life, my soul, my all that Heaven can
give! Lady L. Death’s life with thee, without thee death
to live. Welcome, my dear Sir Harry
I see you got my directions.
Sir H. Directions! in the most charming manner, thou dear Machiavel of intrigue.
Lady L. Still brisk and airy, I find, Sir Harry.
Sir H. The sight of you, madam, exalts my air, and makes joy lighten in my face.
Lady L. I have a thousand questions to ask you, Sir Harry. Why did you leave France so soon?
Sir H. Because, madam, there is no existing where you are not.
Lady L. Oh, monsieur, je vous suis fort obligée
Sir H. At Marli, madam.
Sir H. His body's in the church of Notre Dame; I don't know where his soul is.
Lady L. What disease did he die of ?