MISCELLANIES.

THE DOUBLE TRANSFORMATION.1

A TALE.

SECLUDED from domestic strife,
Jack Bookworm led a college life
A fellowship at twenty-five

Made him the happiest man alive;
He drank his glass, and crack'd his joke,
And freshmen wonder'd as he spoke.a

Such pleasures, unalloy'd with care,
Could any accident impair?
Could Cupid's shaft at length transfix
Our swain, arriv'd at thirty-six?
Oh, had the archer ne'er come down
To ravage in a country town;
Or Flavia been content to stop
At triumphs in a Fleet-street shop!
Oh, had her eyes forgot to blaze;
Or Jack had wanted eyes to gaze!
Oh!
but let exclamation cease,

1 Printed in Goldsmith's Essays (the xxvi.) in 1765.

VARIATIONS.

a Without politeness, aim'd at breeding,
And laugh'd at pedantry and reading.

Her presence banish'd all his peace.b
So with decorum all things carried;

Miss frown'd, and blush'd, and then was-married.

Need we expose to vulgar sight

The raptures of the bridal night?
Need we intrude on hallow'd ground,
Or draw the curtains clos'd around?
Let it suffice that each had charms:
He clasp❜d a goddess in his arms;
And though she felt his usage rough,
Yet in a man 'twas well enough.

C

The honeymoon like lightning flew,
The second brought its transports too;
A third, a fourth, were not amiss,
The fifth was friendship mix'd with bliss:
But, when a twelvemonth pass'd away,
Jack found his goddess made of clay;
Found half the charms that deck'd her face
Arose from powder, shreds, or lace;

VARIATIONS.

b Our alter'd parson now began
To be a perfect ladies' man;
Made sonnets, lisp'd his sermons o'er,
And told the tales he told before,
Of bailiffs pump'd, and proctors bit;
At college how he show'd his wit;
And, as the fair one still approv❜d,
He fell in love -or thought he lov'd.

c visage

But still. the worst remain'd behind,
That very face had robb'd her mind.

Skill'd in no other arts was she, But dressing, patching, repartee; And, just as humour rose or fell, By turns a slattern or a belle.

'Tis true she dress'd with modern grace,
Half-naked at a ball or race;

But when at home, at board or bed,
Five greasy nightcaps wrapp'd her head.
Could so much beauty condescend
To be a dull, domestic friend?
Could any curtain-lectures bring
To decency so fine a thing?

In short, by night 'twas fits or fretting;
By day 'twas gadding or coquetting.
Fond to be seen, she kept a bevy d
Of powder'd coxcombs at her levee;
The 'squire and captain took their stations,
And twenty other near relations;

Jack suck'd his pipe, and often broke

A sigh in suffocating smoke;"

While all their hours were pass'd between Insulting repartee or spleen.

VARIATIONS.

d Now tawdry madam kept a bevy.
e She in her turn became perplexing,
And found substantial bliss in vexing.
f Thus every hour was pass'd.