A PUBLIC school introduces us to many strange acquaintances, and boys form school-friendships from very queer motives. Perhaps no one ever got up an amicitia with another boy from a queerer motive than I did with one Brutus Grumps. He was an odd-looking, disagreeable boy; all legs and arms, like a sucking calf, and had a strange aversion to the use of his bandana, which gave him a snuffling sort of habit in speaking, and procured him several severe hockey-stickings. He was very good-natured, had plenty of pocket money, and spent it freely when he could find any one willing to share his cherries, plums, and peaches, which, with other delicacies, we were allowed to purchase of a man who attended the school daily. He found no lack of boys willing to eat at his expense, but the moment the taste of his purchases were out of their mouths, they, one and all without exception, turned upon their entertainer, called him a snob, and cut him until the tartman came again. The fact was, that Brutus Grumps was only a day-boy, and all dayboys with us Rotherwickians were looked upon as snobs, and accounted unworthy to be associated with, except when we wanted their services to introduce contraband articles for our private consumption. We made use of them, and then treated them with sovereign contempt. Is not this plan adopted in after life? Answer my question, ye men of interest in borough and county elections.

Well; what made me take up the cause of Brutus Grumps-B. G. as he would call himself when speaking of himself-was, that I saw him treat a big bully of a boy, whom I hated, for he was a sneak, a bully, and a coward, to two pounds of most excellent cherries of the species called bigaroons, and when they were devoured (bully of course taking the lion's share), I saw the poor day-boy unmercifully kicked, cuffed, and maltreated by the lad who had been feeding at his expense.

I was very much disgusted, and as I had long entertained the hope of finding some safe ground for fixing a quarrel on the bully, I walked up to him, and demanded his reasons for treating the boy, who had treated him, so cruelly. He merely replied that I might go-to a place I will not mention. In less than five minutes Master Bully's face was so disfigured by my fists, that his fond parents would have had a difficulty in recognising their son had they called to see him.

Brutus Grumps was delighted at my success, and perhaps I was a little too much elated by having so speedily subdued the best fighter in Rotherwick; for I, to carry out my principle as I thought, embraced Brutus Grumps, and publicly proclaimed him to be under my protection, threatening, in our classical phraseology, to lick any boy who should at

tempt to treat him cruelly. I was loudly cheered for my speech by all the juniors; but some of the seniors smiled, winked, and shrugged their shoulders.

My success with the bully had its effects, and my protégé was relieved from many unpleasantries. He was anxious to show his gratitude to me, and as he was the only son of a wealthy professional man, and, as I have said before, had plenty of money at his command, he took me into a deep recess in one of our cloister-windows, and after blushing and stammering, popped a piece of silver paper into my hand, and begged I would use it, and return the amount whenever it was convenient. I opened it, and found it was a bank-note for ten pounds. As I was flush at the time, I returned it with many thanks for his liberality, and took the opportunity of reading him a lecture on being too free with his money-a habit that might increase with his increasing years, and involve him in serious difficulties. He seemed vexed at my rejection of his offer, and smiled at my lecture, shaking his head in a manner that implied "he knew what he was about."

I stood his friend until I left for college, and certainly saved him much uneasiness-to use a mild term. I lost sight of him for some years, but heard, through the medium of some brother collegians, that he had come into a considerable property by the death of his father, and was living as an idle "man about town." I thought the paternal property was in very unsafe hands, but had no means of telling the owner of it my thoughts thereanent, until, by a strange chance, I met him in Cowes, whither I had gone to see the regatta. He was the owner of a smart yacht, but not one of the yacht squadron or club. He was merely there like myself, as a spectator. His joy at seeing me I shall never forget. He positively "fell on my neck" opposite the club-house, and as soon as he had recovered himself a little, insisted on my sending all my traps on board "the Favourite of Fulham," and spending a week or two with him. I could not refuse his invitation, it was so cordially given, although I had other engagements which might have formed, and ought to have formed, valid excuses for refusing him.

As soon as the regatta was over, we left Cowes, and sailed for the quiet little bay and town of Swanage or Swanwich, on the coast of Dorset.

In transitu-that is, ladies, as we sailed along, I elicited part of my friend's history; and although the whole of it would amuse my readers, I have selected such a portion of it as struck me, at the time, to be most elucidatory of poor Brutus Grumps's peculiar softness-especially in money matters.

The friend to whom he alludes, under the name of Toofast Harduppe, was the very bully whose face I had so effectually disfigured for his gross imposition upon him at school. He had, it appeared, immediately after my quitting Rotherwick, made such overtures of peace and goodwill, as poor Brutus could not resist, and had really received no little kudos—I beg pardon, ladies-praise is its meaning, from the rest of the school, for having forgiven a boy, and him a day-boy, who had been the cause of his receiving the severest punishment which a school-bully can receive -a thrashing from another hitherto deemed inferior to himself in pu gilistics.

Having made these few introductory remarks, I will allow Mr. Brutus Grumps to be the raconteur of that part of his history which proved the most amusing to myself.

CHAP. I.

MR. TOOFAST HARDUPPE was a very intimate friend of mine in after life; indeed, we were so intimate, that whenever he was in any little pecuniary difficulty, which, I am sorry to say, occurred very frequently, he always called upon me to help him out of it. I advanced him several sums of money, for which he gave me good security; indeed, he called it "the best possible security," namely, his note of hand, bearing interest at five per cent., payable on demand. I was not so green as to demand it, because I knew that I could not get above three-and-a-half per cent. for my money elsewhere. Let me alone, I'm not to be done so easily.

My legal friend was rude enough to hint to me that I should never see one penny again, either of principal or interest. I do dislike lawyers. They are such matter-of-fact people, and tell you the most disagreeable things with such unmoved and unblushing faces. I have no doubt they do it for the best, as a matter of conscience or duty; but I, Mr. Brutus Grumps, do think it d-d disagreeable. What could my legal adviser, Pumpkinson, know of my friend's affairs that I did know who was so very intimate with him? Nothing. He intimated a great many things, indeed, and insinuated that he had heard a great deal from Dashboard, the West-End carriage-builder; Spavin, who dealt in horses; Sewemup, the tailor, and many other respectable tradesmen who consulted him clientically. Pumpkinson, I maintain, had no business to listen to their tittle-tattle, and no business to mention it to me to try to injure my friend Toofast Harduppe in my estimation. I told him as much, and told it him in a properly peremptory manner. He looked amazed, as I meant him to be. He said nothing in his own defence, but shrugged his legal shoulders, and whispered something about having done his duty to a valuable client. I thought I heard a diminuendo at the end, which sounded something very like, "and a pig-headed fool."

I took no notice of it-for the remark was evidently not meant for my ear, or he would have made it louder. I merely bowed myself out of his private office, and went to call on my friend Harduppe, who gave me some capital broiled kidneys, with curaçoa and champagne for my lunch. I relished the liquids the more because I knew that they were paid for. I had, in fact, given him a check to cover the amount of his wine bill the day before, and had his note of hand for the amount in my pocket - book at the very moment I was quaffing his cham

pagne.

car

We did not sit very long over our wine, for Toofast Harduppe's riage was at the door-a splendid phaeton, drawn by a beautiful pair of grays-I had lent him 500l. to pay for the turn-out, and knew that they were really worth the money, for Dashboard and Spavin had pledged their honour to their excellency before I would allow my friend to discharge their account. Better judges-I mean of carriages and horses-than those two first-rate tradesmen, are not to be found in London.

We took a delightful drive to Chelsea, where my friend had a very pretty little rustic villa, which he had furnished very handsomely, and I thought, when I paid for the things, rather reasonably. He did not live in it himself, for he preferred his chambers, but had lent it to a young French lady who used to join the corps de ballet at the Italian Opera House, before she sprained her ankle, or met with some other unlucky accident, which compelled her to retire from the boards. It was very kind of Harduppe, as she and her aunt had really not very comfortable lodgings in Whitcomb-street, and every body knows that pure air is essential to an invalid.

As we drove along Sloane-street, my friend suddenly pulled up, indeed, so suddenly, that the grays were thrown upon their haunches like cats upon a hearth-rug, when they are looking out for their milk. I could not think what was the matter, but on looking up, I saw a very genteely-dressed young man, with a pair of spurs on his boots, and a riding-whip in his hand, but without any horse that I could see, come up to the side of the phaeton and shake my friend Harduppe very warmly by the hand, which I was rather surprised at his returning with equal warmth, as I had heard him say, "Curse the fellow, I was in hopes he would not have seen me," just as he had got within a foot of the carriage-steps.

We chatted about the weather-for I was introduced in form to Mr. Q. Mace the best billiard-player of the day, next to Brighton Jonathan; and as the grays were rather fidgetty, I wished him away, that we might indulge them in their evident inclination to move on. Mr. Mace, however, was not in the cue for moving; he had his right foot on the step, and kept it there talking about all sorts of nonsense, until he fairly got his left foot into the carriage, and then he whispered something to Harduppe, which made him say, "He was cursed sorry, but couldn't do it, for he hadn't a dump."

I observed Mr. Q. Mace look at me, and then wink at my friend, who, after a moment's thought, and very deep thought it seemed to be by the contraction of his handsome eyebrows, turned round and said, "Can you pencil a check for fifty? I am ashamed to trouble you, but my friend, Mace

"No trouble in the world," said I, taking out my check-book-for I always carry it with me—and filling it up on the crown of my hat, which I used as a writing-desk. I thought I heard Mr. Q. Mace whisper, "Very soft indeed;" but of course he was alluding to the leathern apron of the carriage, which was made of beautiful Spanish.

Well, Mr. Q. Mace took away the check with a low bow, and pocketted it as if he had been used to pocketing. We wished him good morning, and drove on, and as we did so, Mr. Toofast Harduppe thanked me very earnestly for having enabled him to get rid of the importunities of a person who, he was afraid, though really a first-rate performer with the balls, did not play upon the square. Now as billiard-tables are always oblong, I was not surprised at his not playing upon the square, and so I told my friend, who laughed immoderately, and told me that it was the best thing I had said for a long time. I thought so too, and we were very merry until we reached the rustic villa.

The servant got down to ring the bell. It was not answered for some five or six pulls, and I could not help fancying that, as I stood up

in the phaeton to look over into the pretty little garden, I saw a military-looking man with large moustaches, hurry across to a little door which opens into a back lane. I dare say he had only been to inquire after mademoiselle's ankle; but why did he not make his exit by the front door?

When we were admitted, mademoiselle's aunt told me that Julie was a little indisposed, but would be down immediately. We waited for some ten minutes, and the aunt, seeing that my friend was getting nervous, left the room to see after her fair niece. She returned in a few minutes, and with her handkerchief to her eyes-for she was crying-begged Mr. Harduppe to follow her to Julie's boudoir. He did so of course, and I was left alone, and as the doors were left open, I could not help hearing first a loud sobbing, then an hysterical laugh, and finally a violent pit-apatting on the carpet, accompanied by a series of little screams and screeches.

I was about to rush upstairs to learn the cause of these fearful sounds, when my friend Harduppe sprang down stairs four steps at a time, and grasping my hand painfully hard, said,

My dear Brutus-my very dear Grumps-I must impose upon your friendship for one more check. Would you believe it that villainous lodging-letter in Whitcombe-street has issued a writ against Julie for 2501. She is ignorant of our laws, and although I have done all I can to pacify her, and explain the law of debtor and creditor to her in French and English, she cannot be persuaded that she shall not be shut up in a Conciergerie for life, unless she can pay the hard-hearted creditor."

"Brute !" said I, indignantly, as I sat down to write out a check for the amount with Julie's crowquill, which was within my reach.

"He is a brute," said Harduppe, taking the check; "but for you, my very dear Grumps, the poor girl would have been immolated on the altar of hard-heartedness. Your kindness is too much. I shall never be able to repay you-mark my words-I shall never be able to repay you."

I felt that glow about the region of my heart which the consciousness of having done a good action invariably produces; and I was indeed a happy man, when I heard Mademoiselle Julie exchange her hysterical giggle for a natural laugh, in which I distinctly heard Mr. Toofast Harduppe and the aunt of the young lady join. We had a little scene when the ladies appeared, for Miss Julie threw herself on my neck and kissed me. I felt rather awkward at first, but when I remembered that it was the custom of her country, I rather liked it.

We had a little maraschino-which I knew to be good, for I had paid Johnson and Justerini a guinea a bottle for it-and then left the little villa on our return for town, where my friend had invited me to dine at Long's. Mr. Markwell gave us a most excellent little dinner for four, and his wines are first-rate. We did not sit long over the wine, but, as shorts are not permitted at Long's, we retired to Harduppe's chambers to have a rubber, but not before I had lent my friend a check to cover our expenses then incurred, and a small bill that had been standing for

some months.

I lost a mere trifle at whist, and passed an agreeable evening. There was no disputing the excellency of the Regent's punch, which we drank