INDEX TO VOLUME II., UNITED SERIES. FROM MAY TO AUGUST, 1843. man Antiquities 95; Chinese Publishing-Wood- paving 95, 180; Julia Cesarea-Chinese Trea- sure 118; Aerial Steam Carriage 140; Explosion at Dover-A Strange Meeting-Police Stations 140; Sensations in a Trance 166; Miles Cover- dale 166; Prussian Consulship 178; Postage Treaty 180; Buried Village 203; British Ameri- can Association 229; Roman Antiquities 238; Aerial Navigation 239; Education 264; Wol- sey's Chapel at Windsor 279; Forgery of Tas- so's Work 279; Haytien Revolution 280; Brute Intelligence 280; Bonaparte's Guide 280; Pearls and Precious Stones-Guy of Warwick 307; Sla- very in French Colonies 308; Prince of Wales' Household 325; Duke of Sussex and the Bible 333; Darnley Jewel 350; Aerial Machine- Copy Right 386; India and China 390; Library of the Duke of Sussex 405; Rhenish Musical Festival 411; Caricatures 411; Chinese Presents -Slave Trade 422; Hamburgh-Joan of Arc 423; Canal across Suez-Excavations at Nineveh -Thorwalden's Collections 464; Late Duchess of Sussex 492; Calico Printing 521; British Mu- seum- -Daguerreotype 529; Auriferous Sand 552; Mofussil Rain-Bishop Heber's Widow 555; Milton 564; Childe Harold-Petrarch's Tomb 568; Plague Legends-Prince de Joinville 569; Emperor of Brazil-Statistics of Travelling- Shakspeare-Drawings in Westminster Hall 570; Punch's Recipes-Aurora Borealis-Electrical Observations upon Observers, 285 Oswald, Father, 42 90 189 254 550 Omnibus, Author's, Ride in, 167 202, 423 Courts of England, 290 Cleverness, 386 Chantrey and Cunningham, 481 Canada West, 501 Confucius, Life, Times, and Doctrines of 507 Peel, Robert and his Era, 519 Punch's Wrongs, P thee to forget me 269; Founding of the Bell 302; | Southey, Original Letters of, R 459 SCIENCE AND ART: Antarctic Expedition 91; Zo- THE ECLECTIC MUSEUM OF FOREIGN LITERATURE, SCIENCE, AND ART. MAY, 18 4 3. TOO HOT. BY MR. HOOD.-FROM THE AMULET. Illustrated by an Engraving by Mr. Sartain, from Landseer's Picture. Or were I like great Little, who doth ring So sweetly love's alarum, How I would sing, And make the world rejoice! Oh! would I had that heavenly voice,- Or were I Doctor Southey, whose invention Have been so much admired by men! I'd rather have his pension. Perhaps the most appropriate poet, living Effect to your "Too Hot" were BURNS. Such a dog fancier as you. What Rubens was to lions, Cuyp to cows, And hogs, You are to dogs. There's an attractiveness about your harriers, Pugs,poodles,mastiffs, greyhounds, turnspits, tarriers Goes far to settle the great philosophic schism About animal magnetism. There's not a dog but owes you more, I vow, And not a cur that meets You in the streets, But ought to make you a profound bow Wow. Excuse these dog-grel rhymes, my dear They're bad enough, I own; But yet they shall go down To late posterity, (so e'en let critics rail,) That every dog's his day But, Landseer, yours shall last for ages, And after times shall know you what you are,— Quite a DOG-STAR. THE ADVERTISING SYSTEM. From the Edinburgh Review. cannot be worth knowing; and any attempt to couple merit with modesty, is invariably met with the well-known aphorism of the 1. César Birotteau. Par M. de Balzac. Nou- Reverend Sydney Smith, that the only convelle Edition. 8vo. Paris: 1841. 2. Histoire de M. Jobard. 8vo. Par Cham. Paris: 1842. nexion between them is their both beginning It may be argued, that, when every body M. BIROTTEAU is a worthy citizen, who, impatient at the slow results of industry, resolves to make his fortune at a bound. M. Jobard is a simple-minded believer in Advertisements. Which of us does not, in some respect, resemble a Birotteau or a Jobard?-was the question we asked ourselves as we laid down the works in which their adventures are recorded, and took up the extra-sheet of the Times. Here, within the compass of a single Newspaper, are above five hundred announcements of wants or superfluities-remedies for all sorts of ailBe not the first by whom the new are tried." ments-candidates for all sorts of situations Besides, in the lottery of life as at present -conveyances for those who wish to travel, managed, though the blanks may be more establishments for those who wish to stay at numerous, the prizes are proportionably home-investments for him who has made rich. When means of communication were his fortune, and modes of growing rich for restricted, and skill, taste, or talent was him who has that pleasure yet to come-made known with difficulty beyond a narrow elixirs to make us beautiful, and balsams to circle-a street, a village, or a town-it was preserve us from decay-new theatres for comparatively easy to gain a livelihood, and the idle, new chapels for the serious, new almost impossible to become a millionaire: cemeteries in pleasant situations for the fame and profit were distributed among the dead-carriages, horses, dogs, men-ser- community much in the same manner as vants, maid-servants, East India Directors, Greek among the inhabitants of our northand Governesses,-how is all this to be dis- ern part of this island, where (according to regarded or disbelieved, without wilfully Dr. Johnson) all have a mouthful, few a belshutting our eyes to the progress of society; lyful; and for this reason we have always or living in an habitual state of apprehen- entertained some doubts of the authenticity sion, resembling that of the late Mr. Accum of the anecdote regarding "the great Twalmof "Death in the Pot" celebrity, who be-ly, the inventor of the New Floodgate Iron." lieved that every thing he ate was poisoned more or less, and regarded every butcher as a Cæsar Borgia, and every cookmaid who boiled a potato for him as a Marquise de Brinvilliers in disguise? Either Dr. Johnson invented the story to tease Boswell, or Mr. Twalmly had formed an undue estimate of the extent of his own celebrity; though, to be sure, the daily press was even then beginning to exercise an unIn short, there is no disguising it, the due influence; since the Lexicographer says, grand principle of modern existence is no- in 1776, that he should have visited Mrs. toriety; we live and move and have our be- Rudd, "were it not that they have now a ing in print. Hardly a second-rate Dandy trick of putting every thing into the newscan start for the moors, or a retired Slop- papers." At the present time, assuming seller leave London for Margate, without greatness to consist in notoriety, the inven announcing the "fashionable movement" in tor of a new fire-iron for smoothing linen the Morning Post; and what Curran said of (for such, neither more nor less, was Mr. Byron, that "he wept for the press, and Twalmly's discovery) might fairly earn a wiped his eyes with the public," may now title to name himself "the great ;" not simbe predicated of every one who is striving ply for the reason suggested by the Bishop for any sort of distinction. He must not of Killaloe (Dr. Barnard)—because he would only weep, but eat, drink, walk, talk, hunt, rank amongst "Inventas aut qui vitam excoshoot, give parties, and travel, in the news-leure per artes," but because within a few papers. People now-a-days contemptuously hours the whole United Kingdom might be reject the old argument, "whom not to know talking of him. We pardon the tailor who argues yourself unknown." The universal tells us to reform our bills, and the pastryinference is, that, if a man be not known, he cook who writes us a private (printed) let ter to commend his rout-cakes, when we re-bered, has been proved by Mr. Wordsworth collect that a lucky hit might enable the one to be the essential, elemental, fundamental, (like Gunter) to return thirty thousand a characteristic quality of poetry. If we year to the income-tax, and the other (like adopt Locke's definition, the writers are Stulz) to purchase a feudal castle and a equally distinguished by wit; for they disbarony. With so much to stimulate energy and reward eloquence, no wonder that invention has been racked for topics, and language for terms, to arrest the attention of a busy and bustling, but observing and intelligent public; and here, again, it is remarkable how ingeniously the style of address has been adapted to the taste or fashion of the hour. When Scott, Byron, Moore, Rogers, Wordsworth, Southey, &c., were in their zenith, or whilst the horizon was still in a blaze with their descending glory, the most attractive vehicle was verse, and the praises of blacking were sung in strains which would have done no discredit to "Childe Harold" himself, even in his own opinion-for when accused of receiving six hundred a-year for his services as Poet-Laureat to Mrs. Warren, -of being, in short, the actual personage alluded to in her famous boast, "We keeps a poet"--he showed no anxiety to repudiate the charge. The present, however, is an unpoetic age-though, by the way, we should be exceedingly obliged to any one who would mention an age that was not described as both unpoetic and wicked at the time : "Nos nequiores, mox daturos Progeniem vitiosiorem." To change the expression, then, the present age decidedly prefers prose to poetry; nay, unaccountable as it may appear to the person principally interested, and after all the good advice both he and we have wasted on the point, there can be no doubt whatever that "The Excursion" is more than ever caviare to the vulgar; and, notwithstanding the gallant stand made by Mr. Henry Taylor and Mr. Sergeant Talfourd in its defence, has no chance at all against the "Pickwick Papers" or "Oliver Twist." Mrs. Warren, consequently, has been obliged to pension off her poets; and the ingenuity of inventions, the excellence of elixirs, the wonderworking powers of pills, the beauties of estates on sale, the rain-repelling powers of York cloth, the advantages of railroads, the comforts of steam-vessels, the hopes of the living, the virtues of the dead, are now al. most invariably set forth in that humble and ordinary form of language which M. Jour. dain had been employing all his life without knowing it. Far be it from us to say that there is the less scope for imagination on that account; and imagination, be it remem cover hidden similitudes, and associate things apparently unconnected with the most startling and enviable facility. Let any one who is skeptical as to the degree of talent employed and required for the purpose, try to find out the point of analogy between Dante's Inferno and Holloway's Ointment, or the likeness between Archimedes and Mr. Wray, the vender of gout pills. Mark, too, the skill with which the mode of attack is varied; one dashes at once in medias res, or puts on an imposing air of frankness; another trusts the result to inference, reserves the point for the postscript, like a young lady's letter, or lures you on imperceptibly, like Bishop Berkeley's "Essay on Tar Water," which concludes with reflections on the Trinity. On the whole, there is no denying that Advertisements constitute a class of composition intimately connected with the arts and sciences, and peculiarly calculated to illustrate the domestic habits of a people. Porson used to say, that a single Athenian newspaper would be worth all the commentaries on Aristophanes put together. Surely, then, a brief analysis of modern puffery would be no unacceptable bequest to posterity. We shall show, before we have done, that no trade, profession, walk, or condition in life is entirely free from it; and it will be an instructive exercise for moral philosophers or metaphysicians to fix the degrees and ascertain the causes of the varieties. It would seem that pain, or the fear of pain, is the most active stimulant, and vanity the next; for the boldest appeals to credulity are made by those who profess to cure diseases or improve personal appearance. Our first specimens shall be borrow. ed from a class usually, though we hope unjustly, denominated quacks: SURPRISING PROPHECY OF DANTE.-How little was it imagined that those celebrated lines of Dante, And Time shall see thee cured of every ill would be literally fulfilled in England, and in the nineteenth century! Yet so it is. The disorders of man, however complicated they may be, are now subdued with surprising rapidity by that incomparable preparation, Holloway's Ointment,' in combination with its powerful auxiliary, Holloway's External Disease Pill.' It is truly surprising to witness the innumerable cures performed by the special qualities of the Ointment, and the alterative and tonic properties of the Pills. Nor can we too earnestly recom |