refort. The following letter having been fent to me while I was at Mrs. Hedges's, I feize the first opportunity to prefent it to the public. To the MATRON. IT is certainly true-as many people have obferved-that there is no fuch thing as happiness in this world; at leaft, I am fure that I am unfortunately excluded from felicity in it. other's hands, but by winks, nods, | driven from the ufual places of their and other fignificant figns, difcover what they have no business to fee or know, they act in a very unjustifiable manner, and make themfelves not only very unfit for civil fociety, but exhibit principles little better than thofe by which a pick-pocket is infligated, though not, perhaps, fo eafily detected, nor fo fafely to be expofed in the public manner they deferve. Thofe who mix ia card-parties have generally an oftenfible good character, and poff ffed of property fufficient to enable then to carry on an action for defamation, fuppofing the party accuting them fhould not be able to make their charge clear, after having thrown out fufpicions which they cannot prove the only way then, I think, is to decline playing where fuch people make their appearance; and if This mode of proceeding was always atrended to, fuch people would either leave off fo fcandalous a practice, or only affociate with thofe of their own ftamp. I once knew a lady, a woman in very genteel life, obliged to fhift her quarters upon fuch an occafion; fhe was known to have fome fortune, but by no means equal to the appearance fhe made. Upon her taking a good houfe, at a small distance from London, in a refpectable neighboured, he took methods to inform the genteel families in the place that the expected to be vifited by them. Not a fingle perfon, however, paid her that compliment. When the cause of their conduct was inquired into, it came out, that they had heard of her having kept he felf in cloaths out of her winnings at cards, &c.-This intelligence being circulated from one end of the village to the other, the was obliged to decamp. Were characters like thefe properly fhunned, a reformation, I trust, would foon te brought about: they would be I am of your own fex, good Mrs. Grey, about the middle age, rather handfome than ugly, I believe, in the eyes of those who diflike me moft; and I think I may be allowed to fay that I am neither foolish nor ill-natured. About twenty years ago I was the choice of a very refpectable man, with a fortune confiderably fuperior to my own. This, you will fay, had a promising appearance, and encouraged me to believe that happinefs might be my lot; but, alas there is no fuch thing for me. I really think I am mertally hated by every woinan of my acquaintance; and, though I am fure I am the civileft of all civil creatures to all men breathing, yet I never obferved that one of them gives him felf any fort of trouble about me. I have a very extensive acquaintance, and, what is called, a great number of friends: however, when we come together upon a more intimate footing, I find that they generally turn out enemies. I am actually of opinion that people love quarrelling better than any thing in the world; for let me endeavour to be ever fo obliging, I am continually oppofed and thwarted. If I afk, a female friend to go with me to one place, fhe is commonly engaged to another; if she is kind enough to comply with my invitation, it is ten to nience, though our affairs are not a little deranged by them. Our table, our fervants, our amufements, are all upon a wrong plan, in the opinion of thefe people, who only feem to affociate with us in order to torment us.While we are so treated, it is impoffible, you know, my dear Madam, not to complain-and complaint is a capital crime indeed: then, every thing is fo ftrangethey only obferved things, which, in their humble opinion, were not proper; and mentioned them merely out of friendship.- -If I fay I am obliged to them for their intended kindness, they proceed to pull every thing about us to pieces; if I fay to one but fire forgets her promite, and goes fomewhere else, as if on purpose to difappoint me: and then The will come to me at a time when fhe knows it is neither agreeable nor convenient to fee her. If I take notice of fuch an intrufion, the reply is, that I am fo capricious, there is no fuch thing as keeping any ap pointment with me. Now I cannot poffibly fee any of this capricioufnefs in myself: I do as 1 like, and it is very odd that every thing which pleafes me fhould happen to displease the majority of my acquaintance. I am, therefore, well affured that all the world, as I faid before, loves quarrelling and finding fault, better than any thing.we live as we like, and are forry Yet I may venture to fay that I am that our mode of living is not agreereckoned, in general, to be of a mild, able to them, they make a quarrel eafy temper. I feldom or ever, dif- of it directly: "they are fure they pure with my husband; indeed, he only fpoke out of the pureft regard, will not let me. He either tells me, but they plainly fee that I chufe to in a peremptory tone, it must be so, be impofed upon by every body but or elfe pats me on the cheek, and them:" adding, "but it is ever fo and fays, "go, you will think better where people are fo conceited, and of it by and by." He is what is fo attached to their own ways of called-kind to me-he makes me thinking: but, for their parts, they many valuable prefents, befides his fhall not take any farther noallowance for my wardrobe, &c. tice while they are in the family, and yet I can never afford to pur- let what will happen, as those who chafe half the things I want. He receive advice with fo ill a grace alfo gives me leave to invite fome of do not deferve to have it given to my relations, and our joint friends, them." In anfwer to fuch proto stay at our house, though I be- voking fpeeches, I have fometimes, lieve there is nothing upon earth with the greatest humility, acknowmore tiresome to him, as he loves to ledged that I wish not to be advised, keep very early hours, and to live and fhould be glad to be left to ac in his own way-for thofe vifitors iu the manner most agreeable to my contrive to give us both an infinite felf; the reply then is-"O!-now deal of trouble-they want to go I fee you are quite angry; but I here, and to go there, and make cannot help that I have done my very free with our carriage and duty-I am fure it is out of the fin horses. They are never ready, cereft friendship I fpoke-but fome either at breakfast, dinner, or fup- people are fo touchy, there is no per: they wonder why we eat at this knowing what to say to them, or hour, and why we chufe to go to what to do with thein.". -Then bed at that hour; in fhort, every they Alqunce out of the room, and step we take in our own houfe is, fend, in a fhort time afterwards, to they would infinuate, quite wrong; have the carriage for the whole and they appear to make us, and all morning, though they heard me fay that belongs to us, fuit their conye- I was going out in it on particular 7 bufi To the MATRON. Madam, bufinefs. Most people, I believe, | ber. I must make room for the folwould plead fuch an engagement as lowing fhort epittle from a new cora refufal; but I give it up o them, refpondent. as they are my guefts.-When they return, upon fuch occafions, one would expect them to be good-humoured and grateful, for having denied myfelt in order to oblige them. They only feem to recollect what had paffed between us before, and are either fuikily filent, or faappifhly impertinent. They never chufe, however, to take a hint, by taking themfelves away You will, perhaps, tell me, my dear Madam, that thefe people are of a particular fort, and that I am very unfortunate in iny friends and acquaintance indeed I am: for, I do affure you, that I have met with many of this ftamp-fcarcely with any other a very few only excepted, with whom I wish to be upon a more intimate footing, but whom I cannot prevail upon to join our parties at leaft, not often. My hufband tells me that intimacies produce all the grievances of which I complain that few perfons will bear too close an examination: and that though I imagine I should be happy with the fociety of thefe whom I wish to fee more frequently, I might find myself mistaken. What is then to be done?-Am I to live in the midst of opulence, immured alone, or run the rifque of being perpetually teazed or infulted by my company, and my friends? You, iny good Mrs. Grey, who feem to have paffed through life in a very pleafant manner, as well as in a prudent one, will, I hope, favour me with your opinion with regard to my fingular fituation fingular fituation? I recall the words-I believe there are fimilar ones. too many I am, dear Madam, your conftant reader and admirer, H. S. N. B. An anfwer to this letter may be expected in my next Num I am a well-made young fellow,' with fome fortune, and better expect ations, which makes me an object of attention in the eyes of every young woman who wants to be fettled. I cannot go into any circle where thefe females are affembled, without having broad hints given of what fort of a man they fhould chufe, and what fort of a life they fhould like to lead when they were married.' Now, as I do not intend either to thefe fharp-fet fpinfiers, I beg, marry, or even to live with any of through the medium of your popular paper, to tell them plainly, once for all, that I heartily with they would let me alone: and not point, either their eyes or wilkes, at Your very humble fervant, SMARTISH. Occafional Papers. on the ftrength of fuch petty accomplishments, and who have not pride enough to be fenfible that if they did not play a good hand, or fing a good fong, they would pafs unnoticed and remain uninvited. A lady of my acquaintance, who commonly fees "a great deal of company,” at the Chrifimis feafon, and who, according to the fashion now prevailing, is allowed by her hufband to invite company, is very happy in her selection of parties for each day. One fet of company fhe brings together, because they are all fond of whift; another, because partial to quadrille; a third, because they are a people who know each other and like to be together; and a fourth, because they are a kind of odd fort of people whom we must now and then invite, but whom one does not much care for, and therefore it is better to have them all together, and fo get rid of one's plagues at once. To please her husband, the divides his friends into much the fame claffes, thofe who drink, and those who do not drink; the whift players, the quadrille players, and the · humdrums-the latter fhe commonly fets down to loo, or fome round game. Another divifion fhe neceffarily adopts, is that of those who play high and those who play low; and this I could with other mistreffes of ceremonies would attend to; for, from want of fuch attention, many perfons, afhamed to feem poor, very foon make themselves fo; and it is in this respect that cards, from being an amusement and a pleasure, are really in many families become a peft and a nuifance.-But to return to my fubject. Addreffed to the Ladies. The vanity we entertain from being mafters of trifling arts would be unpardonable, were it not for the wayward opinions of people in general, who are much more apt to think well of a man and efteem him for thofe trifles, than to difcern and ad 35 mire his more folid accomplishments. The most learned philofopher, the moft acute genius, the greatest orator, or the most elegant poet, are nothing in company they acquire no refpect from poffeffing thofe charac ters; they are elbowed out of their places by a coxcomb, and difconcerted by a filly coquette-without they at the fame time poffefs fome of the arts we have mentioned above, they will not be the people a perfon of fashion will think of inviting to his table. In the metropolis, there are many hundreds of people of both fexes who may be faid to live entirely by the poffeffion of fome little art which renders them agreeable at a table.Either, as has been been obferved already, they play a good hand at cards, or dance well, or fing a good fong, or tell a good story, or poffefs fome fimilar accomplishment which renders them an acquifition to com. panies where fuch arts are esteemed. I once knew a man who was called "the life and foul" of company, and without whom few tavern parties were complete, whofe principal merit was a happy faculty of mimicking the barking of a dog, the braying of an afs, and the mewing of a cat. On the ftrength of thefe, however, he made a fhift to get many a good dinner, and live at his eafe, and it was not until he had loft his teeth and his voice that he discovered how little grati tude people entertain for paft favours; when he could no longer perfonify the afs, the dog, and the cat, he was no company, and left to flarve at his leifure. The misfortune that attends an injudicious choice of acquaintances, connected together by nothing but petry acquifitions which they mutually difplay, is, that the moral character is often overlooked, and the intellectual is thought of no importance. It is to be feared that thofe who felect their friends merely be F 2 caufe with those persons who pride then felves on the little accomplishments of human life they are a ftudy, I had almoft faid a fcience; the fums played for even in families of middiing life, are no longer fuch as may be fpared without injury, or loft without chagrin. Intemperate mirth, and fpiteful joy follows fuccefs; and our loffes are too great not to be fol. caufe they play well at cards, are not over-fcrupulous in enquiring whether their other qualifications are fuch as ought to entitle them to familiarity. And if we chufe our acquaintances by fuch marks as thefe, we may have a great deal of com. pany, a numerous lift of visitors and wifited, but where is the opportunity to form a friendhip-where are the inducements to engage a friend?lowed by real pain, vexation, and When Timon of Athens was ill temper. Sums of money are rich, he faw much company, he flaked by perhaps one who can afgave great entertainments-friends, ford it, and the bet accepted by one as they called themselves, op- who cannot: debts are thereby conpreffed him with offers of kindness tracted which cannot be paid withwhich he had no temptation to ac- out difficulty, or mentioned without cept, and with prefents which he fhame; for whatever liberties people did not want. But, when Timon may take with time, however they may became poor, his pretended friends plead that their hours are their own, forfook-but did his real ones reand that business is not neglected, main?-No-not one of his numer- yet it is a facred maxim in philofo ous acquaintance remained to merit phy and morals, that they who ha that appellation. zard money they cannot fpare, are guilty of egregious folly, and they who contract debts they have not a profpect of paying, are highly criminal. The prefent bond of union in all companies feems to be gaming. Every body cannot talk, nor litten with pleafure or advantage to thofe who are talking; every body cannot fing, or dance, or drink; but every body can play fome game or other. This univerfal amufement now occupies the place of every other. It has banified converfation-for what are the talents which fit for converfation, when they are not held in eftimation? It has abridged the intellectual pleasures of fociety, and fubftituted a mode of wasting time, а A TALE. NESTOR. the only merit of which is that it is The JEALOUS DUKE. not unpleafant, and that it is effectal. Time creeps on impercepti bly, and the day which would hang heavy on our hands runs rapidly into midnight, without the dilagreeable necefity of our counting the hours, and deploring the lazinefs of time. Had mere amufement, the original purpose of our meeting together in company, been fill the objets, cards w uld have probably alternated with converfation; but cards are no longer aa amufement; N former times, a gentleman of IN fome diftinction, of the kingdom of Montbergier, a knight, and noted for his feats of valour, had, in his fleep, a very fingular dream. He fancied that he faw a lady of extraordinary beauty, and conceived a fudden paffion for her. He knew nothing either of her name or coun. try; but her perfon and features had i |