可 The Matron. but, in time, finding that her paffion for eating and drinking, not only continued, but increafed, he very kindly, though fomewhat warmly remonstrated with her upon the occafion, fetting forth in the frongeft language every unpleafaut circumftance attending fuch a tafte, elpecially in fo young and fo delicate a perfon: but he treated his reproofs pretty much in the fame manner as The had treated thofe of her parents. She, at first, attempted to laugh them off, and, in a good-humoured way, faid, "it is no wonder that few people think thofe things hurtful for which they have no relish themselves. For my part, I was never better nor happier in my life, if people would but let me alone." Mr. Seward expreffed much fatisfaction at this declaration of her happiness, and affured her that he had no point in view but the promotion of her felicity; adding, that nothing but the tenderest affection made him with her to preferve that health which was fo dear to him! 91 N reply to my correfpondent H. S. I muft, before I inveffigate every part of her epittle, declare myself to be of her opinion, and of her husband's. That her fituation is not abfolutely fingular, I allow with her; and agree wrih him, that intimacies often produce the grievances of which the complains: too violent intimacies indeed, whatever fome people may think of them, are productive of most of the differ ences, not to fay quarrels, which happen between friends, who did not at first discover each other's difpofition; and who, upon mak ng dif coveries, found them fo different from what they expected, as to become extremely disappointed by them; very much diftisfied with what pleased them at the commerce५ lo an.. These proofs of his love for her gave her great pleasure, but he was chiefly peafed because the hoped that the fhould, by availing herfelf of his tender regard for her, be able to give to gain fuch an afcendantent of their acquaintance. over him, as to enjoy a plenitude of power, and to do every thing the liked and, indeed, the too foon gained the point which he had moft at heart. Mr. Seward had been much pleased with her perfon, and thought he was perfectly good-tempered; he was himself of an cafy difpofition, and if he could have turned her from the purfuit of one favourite error, they might have been quite happy; but all hisfendeavours were in vain, fo that finding no ferious arguments had any effect upon his luxurious wife, he tried to content himself with applying the weapons of ridicule against her, to fwer to these remarks, numbers will undoubtedly fay, that withour fome degree of intimacy there would be no pleasure in fosiery; and that a diftant, stiff, ceremonious behaviour would be quite tirefome and unpleafant. They will alfo afk how, we are to form friendfhips, without laying afide that reftraint which is ufual with those who are generally acquainted with the world at large, and without opening or hearts to thofe whofe manners app ar to be fimilar to our own; but it is to this very difclosure of our hearts that all the mischief complained of mac be attributed. By fuch difclofures we N2 fee met with, as they are defirable. I am well aware, indeed, that there are too many who answer the defcription given by H. S. who vifit you continually; nay, who make vifitations on purpose to accommodate themselves, but who care not in the leaft whether they in any shape contribute to your pleasure and ease, if they can prevail on you to be of the fmalleft fervice to them. fee traits in the characters and tempers of people which we did not expect to find in them, and they, doubtlefs, making the fame difco. veries, are equally difgufted and difappointed the diflike is, of course, mutual: yet we cannot always tell how to break off an intimacy attended with unpleasant circumftances; an intimacy which we fincerely with had never been commenced. In what manner then, my correfpondent will naturally fay, are we to regulate our conduct? Upon what footing are we to feel ourselves with our acquaintance, in order to raise them to the rank of friends? In reply to these very rational questions, I cannot help faying, that the talk is a difficult one. » In the first place, we must be very circumfpect in our own behaviour, and cautious in laying ourselves too open to any perfon, as that frankness of difpofition fo pleafing in all, is too frequently attended with difagreeable, if not with dangerous confequences; as there are many who, taking advantage of fuch a franknefs, do all they can to turn it to their own advantage. We may, certainly, however, be affable and eafy in our deportment to all, without discovering our particular fentiments relating to them; and if we wish to fhew a marked preference to any favourite individuals, let us first be affured that they deferve it by their attachment to us. We are not under the neceffity of being fliff and formal in our behaviour, as ftiffnefs and formality would effectually exclude every difcovery which we wish to make: on the other hand, polite attentions to all, by giving general fatisfaction, operate more forcibly upon thofe who are poffeffed of the most liberal principles, and render them obliging; perhaps grate-ly from an excess of good-nature. ful in return. Such characters alone are capable of becoming friends in the best fenfe of the word; and fuch characters ought to be cherished, not being by any means fo frequently I was once favoured with the friendship of a lady who was frequently, I faw, impofed upon by people in this line of profeffional attachment. As she had an ample fortune, and kept a good table, they were perpetually pouring in upon her, even when they had been informed, with the utmost politeness, that the expected particular company, and that the had room for no more than the had invited; but as fhe was too good-natured to fend them away, fle was often thrown into a very disagreeable fituation, obliged to make additions to what was already provided for the entertainment of the day, and to croud her invited guests in a very unpleasant manner. Her carriage was alfo, much against her will, under their command: frequently did the take her friends and neighbours in it, in order to accommodate them; and I have feen them, during their ride, exprefs the most pointed diflike to fuch and fuch a road or street; pretending to be terribly afraid, in order to carry their deligns into execu their heads out at the window of the tion. Nay, I have feen them put coach, and order the driver which way to go, in direct oppofition to the commands of his mistress, who fat by in filence, and made not the fmallest effort to enforce them, mere Such forward intruders as thefe ought to be carefully fhunned, as they never think of making any happy but themfelves; and, indeed, there are fo many of this way of The Matron. thinking, that the formation of inti- | 93 of life, without deferving the smalleft reprehension: let her, I repeat my words, be polite to all, but not very particular to any, and I think I can venture to promife that he may be a happy woman. to ANOTHER female has a right precedence: ny very fmart correfpondent must be, therefore, a gentleman in waiting. I am afraid the lady in queftion will not be pleased with the determinations which must be pointed against her: for, though he may not find herself abfolutely without fome excufe, I must own that I think very little can be faid in favour of her conduct. She may, indeed, urge her having lived in a reclufe manner, entirely ignorant of the cuftoms of the world; yet, one would imagine, that fuch a young person, and the daughter of a clergyman too, must have been grofly ignorant not to know, that taking the liberties The mentions were exceedingly indifcreet and unbecoming; and as the injured lady-every wife must be injured by fuch behaviour in another woman to her husband-told her, highly prejudicial to her reputation: toying with the hufband was fufficiently reprehenfible; but teazing the wife was malicious, and cruel to a degree. The Natron is of opinion that the lady and the gentleman both behaved with the greatest propriety in not fuffering such a girl to be the caufe of any future difference between them, and in quitting the place at once to put it out of her power to give them any farther difturbance. Indeed the whole. of R. M.'s letter difcovers a depraved mind, and a corrupted heart: her taking pleafure in the pain of another, and, what is worse, seeking every opportunity to produce it, are ftrong proofs against her.-We may reafonably fuppofe that M. B. intends to become a wife herself, when the can meet with a man to make her filly a condu&t could give real un eafinefs to any body.If M. B. could have known how very contemptible the must have appeared in the eyes of the husband while fhe was amufing herfelf, and how much he was laughed at both by him and his lady, he would have blushed at her own nonfenfe, and have been afhamed of appearing among people poffeffed of common fenfe, and acquainted with the common forms of decency and good-breeding, till the had made a total amendment of her behaviour, which the Matron wishes her to carry into execution as foon as poffible, more for her own fake, than for thofe whom she fancies, vainly fancies it is fo much in her power to teaze. Mr. SMARTISH comes next her one; let her, then, afk herself | how fhe would feel if fo treated and teazed? We are commanded to do, as much as it lies in our power, as we would be done by; this precept, one would imagine, had been ftrongly inculcated, as her father was a clergyman. But, fuppofing mifs had no idea of that kind, what excufe can the poffibly make for avowing, in fo public a manner, her tafte for pleasures of fo fingular a nature? The amufement which fhe derives from combing a man's hair the whole evening, mult appear exceedingly ridiculous, as well as indelicate; and by confeffing herself so very fond of a nice game at romps, he will not recommend herself for a wife to many people, to none who are deferving of her attention. She does not indeed merit the notice of thofe men who are calculated for the enjoy-under examination; as he describes ment of domestic life: fhould he ever be married, the will, perhaps, more than fhudder at any female's attempting to create diffenfions between her and her husband. To conclude, the lady whom the rejoiced to teaze acted, by her account, neither with weakness nor with folly fuch words may be more properly pointed against M. B. who, if the continues to amufe herself in the manner above mentioned, may expect confequences equally teazing to herself, and of a far more perni. cious kind, as nothing can be more dangerous than the taking fuch liberties with men either married or fingle; with the former they are actually criminal: my advice is, therefore, that miss B. fhould be extremely cautious how the indulges herfelf in fuch liberties in future, and to liften with all due deference to thofe ladies whom the particularly diftinANECDOTES. guished by calling them fqueamish; as fuch females are the propereft for fort of mechanical beings, opinion that women were her as patterns, by whom the ought to form her manners: they have, inderd, done her too much honour in fuppofing that fo filly, fo very 2 himself to be a very fine fellow, it is no wonder that he engages the attention of both fexes; but a man may be looked at by many women, without finding any of them in the leaft defirous of being fettled with him fo much indifference indeed will, probably, fecure him the danger which he apprehends, as scarce any female, I imagine, would fet her heart on a man who seems to treat the whole fex with contempt, and who is, apparently, poffeffed of fo large a portion of conceit as not to be capable of feeling a paffion for any human creature but himself : he may, therefore, I believe, venture to walk about with the utmost fecurity, as I feel bold enough to pronounce that he who looks at him, will only look to enjoy a laugh at his expence. THE a only created for the pleafures of the men, whatever votaries ir may have had in the Eaft, has had but few in Europe; Europe; a few, however, have even 1 here maintained it, and affigned va rious and fometimes laughable reafons for fo doing: among thefe, a ftory of a Scots clergyman is not the leat particular. This peaceable fon of Levi, whofe wife was, it feem, a defcendant of the famous Xantippe, the most famous fcold of antiquity, 95 good; "though, to be fure, there might be a bad one here and a bad one there." MAXIMS for YOUNG LADIES. REAT no kind of mifconduct Tamong your friends with int difference; much lefs with' mirth, or applaufe, in the hearing of your fervants; as they will not fail to take an advantage of it at fome mo Scorn to employ them, at any juncture, in mean researches for the gratification of your curiofity: it will entitle them to indulge their own at your expence; teach them, by your own fteady adherence to truth, and a becoming abhorrence of the leaft deviation from it, a strict obfervance of its dictates. On the fift difcovery of a fault, obftru& not a free confeffion of it, by exceffive feverity. in going through a courfe of lec- Another clergyman, who held a Wherever your influence shall be established, let not a word or look contribute to the diftrefs or disgrace of dependent perfons: fave them if your humane interpofition can effect a work of fuch justice. There are moments of uneafinefs, from which none on earth can always be exempt; but let it not fall in flies of peevilinefs on your fer vants. Conceal from the indifferent spectator, the secret springs which move, regulate, and perfect the arrangements of your household. A good manager and a notable woman, proves but too often to be a very unpleafant being in fociety; thefe duties fhould be performed in the circle of their own domestic fphere, and are never to be boasted of out of it. Once in a large company (fays Dr. Kippis, in the 4th Vol. of the Biographia) D. Bufby fat at able Make no perfon wait who is debetween Mrs. South and Mrs. Sher-pendent on you; the lofs of time to lock. The converfation turned up-all, who have to live on the careful on wives. Dr. Beby faid that he employment of it, is the lofs of their believed wives, in general, were bread. Question |