apparent that thou art heir apparent,-But I pr'ythee, sweet wag, shall there be gallows standing in England when thou art king? and resolution thus fobbed as it is, with the rusty crub of old father antic the law? Do not thou, when thou art king, bang a thief. P. Hen. No; thou shalt. Fal. Shall I O rare! By the Lord, I'll be a brave judge. P. Hen. Thou judgest false already; I mean, thou shalt have the hanging of the thieves, and so become a rare hangman. Fal. Well, Hal, well; and in some sort it jumps with my humour, as well as waiting in the court, I can tell you. P. Hen. For obtaining of suits? Fal. Yea, for obtaining of suits: whereof the hangman hath no lean wardrobe. 'Sblood, I am as melancholy as a gib* cat, or a lugged bear. P. Hen. Or an old lion; or a lover's lute. Fal. Yea, or the drone of a Lincolnshire bagpipe. P. Hen. What sayest thou to a hare, or the melancioly of Moor ditch? Fal. Thou hast the most unsavoury similes; and art, indeed, the most comparative, rascalliest, sweet young prince,-But, Hal, I pr'ythee, trouble me no more with vanity. I would to God, thou and I knew where a commodity of good names were to be bought: An old lord of the council rated me the other day in the street about you, Sir; but I marked him not and yet he talked very wisely; but I regarded him not and yet he talked wisely, and in the street too. P. Hen. Thou did'st well; for wisdom cries out in the streets, and no man regards it. Fal. O thou hast damnable iteration; and art indeed able to corrupt a saint. Thou hast done much harm upon me, Hal,--God forgive thee for it! Before I knew thee, Hal, I knew nothing; and now am I, if a man should speak truly, little better than one of the wicked. I must give over this life, and I will give it over; by the Lord, an I do not, I am a villain; P'li be damned for never a king's son in Christen dom. P. Hen. Where shall we take a purse tomorrow, Jack ? Fal. Where thou wilt, lad, I'll make one; an I do not, call me villain, and baffle me. P. Hen. I see a good amendinent of life in thee; from praying to purse-taking. Enter POINS, at a distance. Fal. Why, Hal, 'tis my vocation, Hal; 'tis no sin for a man to labour in his vocation. Poins-Now shall we know if Gadshill hath set a match. O if men were to be saved by merit, what hole in hell were hot enough for him? This is the most omnipotent villain, that ever eried, Stand, to a true || man. P. Hen. Good morrow, Ned. Poins. Good morrow, sweet Hal.-What says monsieur Remorse? What says Sir John Sackand-Sugar? Jack, how agrees the devil and thee about thy soul, that thou soldest him on GoodFriday last, for a cup of Madeira and a cold capon's leg? P. Hen. Sir John stands to his word, the devil shall have his bargain; for he was never yet a breaker of proverbs, he will give the devil his due. Poins. Then art thou damned for keeping thy word with the devil. P. Hen. Else he had been damned for cozening the devil. Poins. But, my lads, my lads, to morrow morning, by four o'clock, early at Gadsbili: There are pilgrims going to Canterbury with rich offerings, and traders riding to London with fat purses: I have visors for you all, you have horses for yourselves; Gadsbill lies tonight in Rochester; I have bespoke supper tomorrow night in Eastcheap; we may do it as secure as sleep: If you will go, I will stuff your purses full of crowns; if you will not, tarry at home, and be hanged. Fal. Hear me, Yedward: if I tarry at home, and go not, I'll hang you for going. Poins. You will, chops? Fal. Hal, wilt thou make one? P. Hen. Who, I rob? I a thief? not 1, by my faith. Fal. There's neither honesty, manhood, nor good fellowship in thee, nor thou camest not of the blood royal, if thou darest not stand for ten shillings. + P. Hen. Well, then, once in my days I'll be a mad-cap. Fal. Why, that's well said. P. Hen. Well, come what will, I'll tarry at home. Fal. By the Lord, I'll be a traitor then, when thou art king. P. Hen. I care not. Poins. Sir John, I pry'thee leave the prince and me alone; I will lay him down such reasons for this adventure, that he shal! go. Fal. Well, may'st thou have the spirit of persuasion, and he the ears of profiting, that what thou speakest may move, and what be bears may be believed, that the true prince may (for recreation sake,) prove a false thief; for the poor abuses of the time want countenance. Farewell You shall find me in Eastcheap. P. Hen. Farewell, thou latter spring! Farewell, All-hallowu summer! ‡ [Exit FALSTAFF. Poins. Now, my good sweet honey lord, ride with us to-morrow; I have a jest to execute, that I cannot mauage alone. Falstaff, Bardolph, Peto, and Gadshill, shall rob those men that we have already way-laid; yourself and I will not be there; and when they have the booty, if you and I do not rob them, cut this head from my shoulders. P. Hen. But how shall we part from them in setting forth? Poins. Why, we will set forth before or after them, and appoint them a place of meeting, wherein it is at our pleasure to fail; and then will they adventure upon the exploit themselves, which they shall have no sooner achieved, but we'll set upon them. P. Hen. Ay, but 'tls like that they will know us, by our horses, by our habits, and by every other appointment, to be ourselves. Poins. Tut! our horses they shall not see, I'll tie them in the wood; our visors we will change, after we leave them; and, sirrah, I have cases of buckram for the nonce, to immask our noted outward garments. P. Hen. But I doubt they will be too hard for us. Poins. Well, for two of them, I know them to be as true-bred cowards as ever turned back; and for the third, if he fight longer than he sees reason, I'll forswear arms. The virtue of this jest will be, the incomprehensible lies that this same fat rogue will tell us, when we meet at supper: how thirty, at least, he fought with; what wards, what blows, what extremities he endured; and, in the reproof of this, lies the jest. P. Hen. Well, I'll go with thee; provide us all things necessary, and meet me to-morrow night in Eastcheap, there I'll sup. Farewell. Poins. Farewell, my lord. [Exit POINS. P. Hen. I know you all, and will a while uphold The unyok'd humour of your idleness: And nothing pleaseth but rare accidents. [Exit. [nied Which Harry Percy here at Holmedon took, Hot. My liege, I did deny no prisoners. Show'd like a stubble-land at harvest home; And 'twixt his finger, and his thumb he held Took it in snuff:-and still he smil'd, and talk'd; And, as the soldiers bore dead bodies by, He qestion'd me; among the rest demanded I then, all smarting, with my wounds being cold, To he so pester'd with a popinjay,' He should, or he should not;-for he made me mad, To see him shine so brisk, and smell so sweet, And talk so like a waiting-gentlewoman, Of guns, and drums, aud wounds, (God save the mark!) And telling me, the sovereign'st thing on earth Whatever Harry Percy theu hath said, K. Hen. Why, yet he doth deuy his pri soners, But with proviso, and exception, That we, at our own charge, shall ransom straight His brother-in-law, the foolish Mortimer; dower; Glen Whose daughter, as we hear, the Earl of Hath lately married. Shall our coffers then He never did fall off, my sovereign liege, Those mouthed wounds, which valiantly he took, When on the gentle Severn's sedgy bank, He did confound the best part of an hour Three times they breath'd, and three times did they drink, Upon agreement, of swift Severn's flood; Colour her working with such deadly wounds; K. Hen. Thou dost belie him, Percy, thou dost belie him; He never did encounter with Glendower: He durst as well have met the devil alone, Art not ashamed? But, Sirrah, henceforth Or you shall hear in such a kind from me We license your departure with your son :- [Exeunt King HENRY, BLUNT, and Train. Hot. And if the devil come and roar for them, I will not send them :-I will after straight, North. What, drunk with choler? stay, and pause awhile: Here comes your uncle. Re-enter WORCESTER. Hot. Speak of Mortimer ? 'Zounds, I will speak of him; and let my soul Want mercy, if I do not join with him: Yea, on his part, I'll empty all these veins, And shed my dear blood drop by drop i'the dust, But I will lift the down-trod Mortimer As high i'the air as this unthankful king, As this ingrate and canker'd Bolingbroke. North. Brother, the king hath made your nephew mad. [To WORCESTER. Wor. Who struck this heat up, after I was gone ? Hot. He will, forsooth, have all my prisoners; And when I urg'd the ransom once again Of my wife's brother, then his cheek look'd pale ; And on my face he turn'd an eye of death, By Richard that dead is, the next of blood ? From whence he, intercepted, did return Live scandaliz'd, and foully spoken of. Hot. But, soft, I pray you: Did king Richard then Proclaim my brother Edmund Mortimer North. He did; myself did hear it. Hot. Nay, then I cannot blame his cousin king, That wish'd him on the barren mountains starv'd. But shall it be, that you, that set the crown And plant this thorn, this canker, Bolingbroke? To answer all the debt he owes to you, Wor. Peace, cousin, say no more: Send danger from the east unto the west, To rouse a lion than to start a hare North. Imagination of some great exploit, Drives him beyond the bounds of patience. Hot. By heaven methinks it were an easy leap, To pluck bright honour from the pale-fac'd IV Nettled, and stung with pismires, when I hear in Richard's time,-What do you call the A plague upon't!-it is in Glostershire ;- kept; uncle His uncle York;-where I first bow'd my knee North. At Berkley castle. Hot. You say true :—— Why, what a candy deal of courtesy This fawning greyhound then did proffer me ! Look,-when his infant fortune came age, to And, gentle Harry Percy, and, kind cousin, Good uncle, tell your tale, for I have done. Hot. I have done, i'faith. Wor. Then once more to your Scottish pri soners. Deliver them up without their ransom straight, reasons Which I shall send you written, be assur'd [To NORTHUMBERLAND. Hot. Of York, is't not? Wor. True: who bears hard His brother's death at Bristol the lord Scroop. I speak not this in estimation, + As what I think might be, but what I know Hot. I smell it; upon my life, it will do North. Before the game's a-foot, thou still Hot. Why, it cannot choose but be a noble plot : And then the power of Scotland, and of York,- Wor. And so they shall. Hot. In faith, it is exceedingly well aim'd. Wor. Cousin, farewell :-No further go in Than I by letters shall direct your course. once, at (As I will fashion it,) shall happily meet, thrive, I trust. Hot. Uncle, adieu :-Oh! let the hours be Till fields, and blows, and groans applaud our [Exeunt. SCENE I.-Rochester.-An Inn Yard. Enter a CARRIER, with a Lantern in his 1 Car. Heigh ho! An't be not four by the Ost. [Within.] Anon, anon. 1 Car. I pry'thee Tom, beat Cut's + saddle, put a few flocks in the point; the poor jade is wrung in the withers out of all cess. t Enter another CARRIER. 2 Car. Pease and beans are as dank § here as 1 Car. Poor fellow; never joyed since the 2 Car. I think this be the most villainous house in all London road for fleas; I am stung like a tench. 1 Car. Like a tench? by the mass, there is ne'er a king in Christendom could be better bit than I have been since the first cock. 2 Car. Why, they will allow us ne'er a jorden, and then we leak in your chimney; and your chamber-lie breeds fleas like a loach. ** 1 Car. What, ostler! come away and be hanged, come away. 2 Car. I have a gammon of bacon, and two razes of ginger, to be delivered as far as Charing cross. 1 Car. 'Odsbody! the turkies in my pannier are quite starved.-What, ostler !-A plague on thee hast thou never au eye in thy head? canst not hear? An 'twere not as good a deed as drink, to break the pate of thee, I am a very villain.-Come, and be hanged:-Hast no faith in thee? Gads. o'clock ? Enter GADS HILL. Good morrow, carriers. What's 1 Car. I think it be two o'clock. Gads. I pr'ythee lend me thy lantern, to see my gelding in the stable. 1 Car. Nay, soft, I pray ye; I know a trick worth two of that, i'faith. Gads. I pr'ythee lend me thine. 2 Car. Ay, when? canst tell?-Lend me thy lantern, quoth a 3-marry, I'll see thee hanged first. Gads. Sirrah carrier, what time do you mean to come to London? 2 Car. Time enough to go to bed with a candle, I warrant thee.-Come, neighbour Mugs, we'll call up the gentlemen; they will along with company, for they have great charge. [Exeunt CARRIERS. Gads. What ho! chamberlain ! Cham. [Within.] At hand, quoth pick-purse.+t Gads. That's even as fair as-at hand, quoth the chamberlain : for thou variest no more from picking of purses, than giving direction doth from labouring; thou lay'st the plot how. It Enter CHAMBERLAIN. Cham. Good morrow, master Gadshill. holds current that I told you yesternight: There's a franklin in the wild of Kent, hath brought three hundred marks with him in gold: I heard him tell it to one of his company, last night at supper; a kind of auditor; one that hath abundance of charge too, God knows what. They are up already, and call for eggs and butter: They will away presently. • The constellation Ursa major. 6 Wet. 1 Measure. Name of his horse. Spotted like a tench. Worms. A small fish supposed to breed fleas. ++ A proverb, from the pick-purse being always 1 Freeholder. ready. Gads. Sirrah, if they meet not with saint Nicholas' clerks, I'll give thee this neck. Cham. No, I'll none of it: I pr'ythee, keep that for the hangman; for I know thou worship'st saint Nicholas as truly as a man of falsehood may. Gads. What talkest thou to me of the hangman? if I hang, I'll make a fat pair of gallows for if I hang, old Sir John hangs with me; and thou knowest he's no starveling. Tut! there are other Trojans that thou drea:nest not of; the which, for sport sake, are content to do the profession some grace, that would, if matters should be looked into, for their own credit sake, make all whole. I am joined with no foot land-rakers,t no long-staff, sixpenny strikers; none of these mad, mustachio purple-hued malt-worms: but with nobility and tranquillity; burgomasters and great oneyers; such as can hold in; such as will strike sooner than speak, and speak sooner than drink, and drink sooner than pray: And yet I lie; for they pray continually to their saint, the commonwealth; or, rather, not pray to her, but prey on her; for they ride up and down on her, and make her their boots. § afoot with me; and the stony-hearted villains know it well enough: A plague upon't, when thieves cannot be true to one another! [They whistle.] Whew!-A plague upon you all! Give me my horse, you rogues; give me my horse, and be hanged. P. Hen. Peace, ye fat guts! lie down lay thine ear close to the ground, and list if thou canst hear the tread of travellers. Fal. Have you any levers to lift me up again, being down? 'Sblood, I'll not bear mine own flesh so far afoot again, for all the coin in thy father's exchequer. What a plague mean ye to colt me thus ? P. Hen. Thou liest, thou art not colted, thou art uncolted. Fal. I pr'ythee, good prince Hal, help me to my horse; good king's son. P. Hen. Out, you rogue! shall I be your ostler! Fal. Go, hang thyself in thy own heir-apparent garters! If I be ta'en, I'll peach for this. An I have not ballads made on you all, and sung to filthy tunes, let a cup of sack be my poison: When a jest is so forward, and afoot too, Cham. What, the commonwealth their boots? I hate it. I will she hold out water in foul way? Gads. She will, she will; justice hath li quored her. We steal us in a castle, cocksure; we have the re eipt of fern-seed, we walk invisible. Cham. Nay, by my faith! I think you are more beholden to the night than to fern-seed, for your walking invisible. Gads. Give me thy hand: thou shalt have a share in our purchase, as I am a true man. Cham. Nay, rather let me have it as you are a false thief. Gads. Go to; Homo is a common name to all men. Bid the ostler bring my gelding out of the stable. Farewell, you muddy knave. [Exeunt. Fal. Poins! Poins, and be hanged! Poins! P. Hen. Peace, ye fat-kidneyed rascal; What a brawling dost thou keep? Fal. Where's Poins, Hal? P. Hen. He is walked up to the top of the hill; I'll go seek him. [Pretends to seek POINS. Ful. I am accursed to rob in that thief's company the rascal hath removed my horse, and tied him I know not where. If I travel but four foot by the squire ¶ further afoot, I shall break my wind. Well, I doubt not but to die a fair death for all this, if I 'scape hanging for killing that rogue. I have forsworn his company hourly any time this two-and-twenty years, and yet I am bewitched with the rogue's company. If the rascal bave not given me medicines to make me love him, I'll be hanged; it could not be else; I have drunk medicines.-Poins!-Hal-a plague upon you both!-Bardolph !-Peto!-I'll starve, ere I'll rob a foot further. An 'twere not as good a deed as drink, to turn true man, and leave these rogues, I am the veriest varlet that ever chewed with a tooth. Eight yards of uneven ground, is threescore and ten miles Gads. Stand. Enter GADSHILL. Fal. So I do, against my will, Bard. What news? Gads. Case ye, case ye; on with your visors ; there's money of the king's coming down the hill; 'tis going to the king's exchequer. Fal. You lie, you rogue; 'tis going to the king's tavern. Gads. 'There's enough to make us all. P. Hen. Sirs, you four shall front them in the narrow lane; Ned Poins and I will walk lower : if they 'scape from your encounter, then they light on us. Peto. How many be there of them? Fal. 'Zounds! will they not rob us? P. Hen. What, a coward, Sir John Paunch Fal. Indeed, I am not John of Gaunt, your grandfather; but yet no coward, Hal. P. Hen. Well, we leave that to the proof Poins. Sirrah Jack, thy horse stands behind the hedge; when thou needest him, there thou shalt find him. Farewell, and stand fast. Fal. Now cannot I strike him, if I should be hanged. P. Hen. Ned, where are our disguises ? [Exeunt P. HENRY and Pois. Fal. Now, my masters, happy man he his dole, say 1; every man to his business. Enter TRAVELLERS. 1 Trav. Come, neighbour; the boy shall lead our horses down the hill: we'll walk afoot a while, and ease our legs. Thieves. Stand. Trav. Jesu bless us ! Fal. Strike; down with them; cut the villains throats: Ah! whoreson caterpillars! bacon-fed knaves! they hate us youth: down with them; fleece them. 1 Trav. O we are undone, both we and our's, for ever. Ful. Hang ye, gorbellied knaves; Are ye undone? No, ye fat chuffs; I would your store were here! On, bacons, on! What, ye knaves? young men must live: You are grand jurors are ye? We'll jure ye, i'faith. [Exeunt FALSTAFF, &c. Driving the TRAVELLERS out. Make a youngster of me. |