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good-nature painted in his look, that it was remarked by almost every one who saw him. It was, perhaps, as much owing to this, as to a very fine complexion, that his face had a delicacy in it almost inexpressible, and which might have given him an air rather too effeminate, had it not been joined to a most masculine person and mien ; which latter had as much in them of the Hercules, as the former had of the Adonis. He was besides active, genteel, gay, and good-humoured; and had a flow of animal spirits which enlivened every conversation where he was present. - When the reader hath duly reflected on these many charms which all centred in our hero, and considers at the same time the fresh obligations which Mrs. Waters had to him, it will be a mark more of prudery than candour to entertain a bad opinion of her, because she conceived a very good opinion of him. But whatever censures may be passed upon her, it is my business to relate matters of fact with veracity. Mrs. Waters had, in truth, not only a good opinion of our hero, but a very great affection for him. To speak out boldly at once, she was in love, according to the present universally-received sense of that phrase, by which love is applied indiscriminately to the desirable objects of all our passions, appetites, and senses, and is understood to be that preference which we give to one kind of food rather than to another. But though the love to these several objects may possibly be one and the same in all cases, its operations however must be allowed to be different; for how much soever we may be in love with an excellent sirloin of beef, or bottle of Burgundy; with a damask rose, or Cremona fiddle; yet do we never smile, nor ogle, nor dress, nor flatter, nor endeawour by any other arts or tricks to gain the affection of the said beef, &c. Sigh indeed we some
times may ; but it is generally in the absence, not in the presence of the beloved object. For otherwise we might possibly complain of their ingratitude and deafness, with the same reason as Pasiphaë doth of her bull, whom she endeavoured to engage by all the coquetry practised with good success in the drawing-room on the much more sensible as well as tender hearts of the fine gentlemen there. The contrary happens in that love which operates between persons of the same species, but of different sexes. Here we are no sooner in love, than it becomes our principal care to engage the aftection of the object beloved. For what other purpose indeed are our youth instructed in all the arts of rendering themselves agreeable? If it was not with a view to this love, I question whether any of those trades which deal in setting off and a lorning the human person would procure a livelihood. Nay, those great polishers of our manners, who are by some thought to teach what principally distinguishes us from the brute creation, even dancing-masters themselves, might possibly find no place in society. In short, all the graces which young ladies, and young gentlemen too, learn from others; and the many improvements which, by the help of a lookingglass, they add of their own, are in reality those very spicula et faces amoris so often mentioned by Ovid ; or, as they are sometimes called in our own language, the whole artillery of love. Now Mrs. Waters and our hero had no sooner sat down together, than the former began to play this artillery upon the latter. But here, as we are about to attempt a description hitherto unassayed either in prose or verse, we think proper to invoke the assistance of certain aérial beings, who will, we doubt not, come kindly to our aid on this occasion. “Say then, ye Graces! you that inhabit the hea‘ venly mansions of Seraphina's countenance; for “you are truly divine, are always in her presence, ‘ and well know all the arts of charming; say, what ‘ were the weapons now used to captivate the heart * of Mr. Jones.’ * First, from two lovely blue eyes, whose bright * orbs flashed lightning at their discharge, flew forth * two pointed ogles. But, happily for our hero, hit ‘ only a vast piece of beef which he was then con‘ veying into his plate, and harmless spent their * force. The fair warrior perceived their miscar‘riage, and immediately from her fair bosom drew “forth a deadly sigh. A sigh, which none could * have heard unmoved, and which was sufficient at ‘ once to have swept off a dozen beaux; so soft, so “sweet, so tender, that the insinuating air must have “found its subtle way to the heart of our hero, had ‘ it not luckily been driven from his ears by the “coarse bubbling of some bottled ale, which at that ‘time he was pouring forth. Many other weapons * did she assay; but the god of eating (if there be “any such deity; for I do not confidently assert it) “preserved his votary; or perhaps it may not be ‘ dignus vindice nodus, and the present security of ‘Jones may be accounted for by natural means; ‘for as love frequently preserves from the attacks of “hunger, so may hunger possibly, in some cases, de‘ fend us against love. “The fair one, enraged at her frequent disappoint‘ments, determined on a short cessation of arms. * Which interval she employed in making ready * every engine of amorous warfare for the renewing * of the attack, when dinner should be over. * No sooner then was the cloth removed, than she * again began her operations. First, having planted * her right eye sidewise against Mr. Jones, she shot ‘ from its corner a most penetrating glance; which, ‘ though great part of its force was spent before it ‘ reached our hero, did not vent itself absolutely ‘without effect. This the fair one perceiving, has. ‘tily withdrew her eyes, and levelled them down“wards, as if she was concerned for what she had ‘ done; though by this means she designed only to ‘draw him from his guard, and indeed to open his ‘eyes, through which she intended to surprise his “heart. And now, gently lifting up those two “bright orbs which had already begun to make an * impression on poor Jones, she discharged a volley * of small charms at once from her whole counte‘nance in a smile. Not a smile of mirth, nor of ‘joy; but a smile of affection, which most ladies have ‘ always ready at their command, and which serves “ them to show at once their good-humour, their ‘pretty dimples, and their white teeth.
‘This smile our hero received full in his eyes, ‘ and was immediately staggered with its force. He “ then began to see the designs of the enemy, and * indeed to feel their success. A parley now was set ‘ on foot between the parties; during which the ‘ artful fair so slily and imperceptibly carried on her
attack, that she had almost subdued the heart of
“our hero, before she again repaired to acts of hos‘tility. To confess the truth, I am afraid Mr. Jones * maintained a kind of Dutch defence, and treacher‘ously delivered up the garrison, without duly ‘weighing his allegiance to the fair Sophia. . In “short, no sooner had the amorous parley ended, ‘ and the lady had unmasked the royal battery, by ‘carelessly letting her handkerchief drop from her “neck, than the heart of Mr. Jones was entirely “taken, and the fair conqueror enjoyed the usual “fruits of her victory.’
Here the Graces think proper to end their description, and here we think proper to end the chapter.
A friendly conversation in the kitchen, which had a very common, though not very friendly, conclusion.
W HILE our lovers were entertaining themselves in the manner which is partly described in the foregoing chapter, they were likewise furnishing out an entertainment for their good friends in the kitchen. And this in a double Scnse, by affording them matter for their conversation, and, at the same time, drink to enliven their spirits. There were now assembled round the kitchen .fire, besides my landlord and landlady, who occasionally went backward and forward, Mr. Partridge, the serjeant, and the coachman who drove the young lady and her maid. Partridge having acquainted the company with what he had learnt from the Man of the Hill concerning the situation in which Mrs.Waters bad been found by Jones, the serjeant proceeded to that part of her history which was known to him. He said she was the wife of Mr. Waters, who was a captain in their regiment, and had often been with him at quarters. “Some folks,' says he, “used indeed * to doubt whether they were lawfully married in a * church or no. But, for my part, that's no busi* ness of mine: I must own, if I was put to my cor‘poral oath, I believe she is little better than one * of us; and I fancy the captain may go to heaven ‘when the sun shines upon a rainy day. But if he * does, that is neither here nor there; for he won't ‘ want company. And the lady, to give the devil ‘ his due, is a very good sort of lady, and loves the * cloth, and is always desirous to do strict justice to “it ; for she hath begged off many a poor soldier, ‘ and, by her good-will, would never have any of * them punished. But yet, to be sure, ensign North