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COMIC AND AMUS.NG.
1. TO AN OLD WIG.-Anonymous. Hail thou! that liest so snug in this old box;
With awe I bend before thy wood-built shrine ! Oh! 'tis not closed with glue, nor nails, nor locks,
And hence the bliss of viewing thee is mine. Like my poor aunt, thou hast seen better days;
Well curled and powdered, once it was thy lot Balls to frequent, and masquerades, and plays,
And panoramas, and I know not what! Alas! what art thou now? a mere old mop!
With whiclı our housemaid Nan, who hates a broor Dusts all the chambers in my little shop,
Then slyly hides thee in this lumber-room. Such is the fate of wigs—and mortals too!
After a few more years than thine are past,
Must all be shut up in a box at last!
2. The child's wish IN JUNE.—Gilman.
And pussy sits ncar, with a sleepy grace
3. THE INFANT ORATOR.—Everett. You'd scarce expect one of my age, To speak in public on the stage ; And if I chance to fall below Deniosthenes or Cicero, Don't view me with a critic's eye, But pass my imperfections by. Large streams from little fountains flow; Tall oaks from litile acorns grow; And though I now am small and young, Of judgment weak, and feeble tongue; Yet all great learned men, like me, Once learned to read their A, B, C. But why may not Columbia's soil Rear men as great as Britain's isle ; Exceed what Greece and Rome have done, Or any land beneath the sun ? May’nt Massachusetts boast as great As any other sister state ? Or, where's the town, go far and near, That does not find a rival here? Or, where's the boy, but three feet high, Who's made iinprovements more than I ? These thoughts inspire my youthful mind To be the greatest of mankind; Great, not like Cæsar, stained with blood; But only great, as I am good.
THE APPLE-DUMPLINGS, AND GEORGE THE THIRD.-Wolcot
Once in the chase, this monarch drooping,
Entered, through curiosity, a cot,
Had apple-dumplings ready for the pot ;
what? what? what ?" Then taking up a dumpling in his hand, His eyes with admiration did expand
And oft did majesty the dumpling grapple; “ 'Tis monstrous, monstrous, monstrous hard," he cried; “ What makes the thing so hard ?" The dame replied,
Low courtesying, “ Please your majesty, the apple.” “ Very astonishing indeed! strange thing !" (Turning the dumpling round) rejoined the king, is 'Tis most extraordinary now, all this isIt beats the conjurer's capers all to piecesStrange I should never of a dumpling dream, But Goody, tell me, where, where, where's the seam?" “ Sire, there's no seam,” quoth she, “I never knew That folks did apple-dumplings sew !”“No!” cried the staring monarch with a grin, “ Then, where, where, where, pray, got the apple in ?”
5. THE DIRECTING POST.-Anonymous.
In winter, once, an honest traveling wight
'Twas thus the words he traced_" To Derby-five," “ A goodly distance yet, as I'm alive!" But on he drove a weary length of way, And wished his journey he'd delayed till day: He wondered that no town appeared in view, (The wind blew stronger, it rained faster too,) When to his great relief he met a man: “I say good friend, pray tell me, if you can, How far is't hence to Derby ?” “Derby, hey! Why zur, thee be'est completely come astray; This y’ant the road.” “Why zounds the guide-post showod •To Derby, five'-and pointed down this road!" “Ay, dang it, that may be, for you maun know, The post it war blown down last night, and so This morn I put it up again, but whether (As I can't put great A and B together) The post is right, I'm zure I cannot zayThe town is just five miles the other way."
6. THE ATHEIST AND ACORN.-Anonymous.
“ Methinks the world seems oddly made
And every thing amiss ;"
And instanced it in this :
A pumpkin large and round,
Nor bear it from the ground.
So disproportioned grows,
Its ill contrivance knows.
The pumpkin on the tree,
And weak and feeble be "
No more the caviler could say,
No further faults descry;
Fell down upon his eye.
As punished for that sin;
Nor skull have kept them in.
7. THE ASS AND THE NIGHTINGALE.—Krilov.
An ass, a nightingale espied,
Now let me hear thee, that I may decide;
Through all the regions of sweet music ranging, Varying her song a thousand different ways;
Rising and falling, lingering, ever changing:
Strewing the wood with lovelier music ;-there
No zephyr dares disturb the tranquil air :-
The shepherd like a statue stands—afraid
Seems to say, “ Listen!” to his favorite maid.
Would give thee a few lessons, doubtless he Might raise thy voice and modulate thy ear;
And thou, in spite of all thy faults, mayest bo