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A very decenii singer. The poor bird
8. THE YOUNG FLY AND THE OLD SPIDER.–Wolcot.
Fresh was the breath of morn—the busy breeze,
And swept the dew-clad blooms with wings so light:
And smiling, put on his best looks so bright.
On this fair morn, a spider who had set,
With cautious art, upon a spangled thorn;
Humming her little orisons to morn.
“ Good morrow, dear Miss Fly," quuth gallant Grim“ Good morrow, sir,” replied Miss Fly to him
“ Walk in, Miss, pray, and see what I'm about :" “ I'm much obliged t'ye, sir,” Miss Fly rejoined, “ My eyes are both so very good, I find,
That I can plainly see the whole without."
“ Fine weather, Miss"_" Yes, very fine,"
Quoth Miss—“ prodigious fine mdeed!" “ But why so coy?" quoth Grim, “that you decline To put within my bower your pretty head ?"
“'Tis simply this,”
Quoth cautious Miss, “I fear you'd like my pretty head so well, You'd keep it for yourself, sir,-- who can tell ?”
“ Then let me squeeze your lovely hand, my dear,
And prove that all your dread is foolish, vain”"I've a sore finger, sir, nay more, I sear
You really would not let it go again."
« Poh, poh, child, pray dismiss your idie dread: I would not huri a hair of that sweet head
Well, then, with one sweet kiss of friendship meet me " “ La, sir," quoth miss, with seeming ariless longue, “I lear our salutation would be long :
So loving, too, I fear that you would eat me."
So saying, with a smile she lost the rogie,
9. SPECTACLES, OR HELPS TO READ.-Byroin.
A certain artist, I've forgot his name, Had got for making spectacles a fame, Or “ helps to read"-as, when they first were sold, Was writ upon his glaring sign in gold; And, for all uses to be had from glass, His were allowed by readers to surpass. There came a man into his shop one day“ Are you the spectacle contriver, pray ?” “Yes, sir,” said he, “I can in that affair Contrive to please you, if you want a pair.” “Can you ? pray do then."—So, at first, he chuse To place a youngish pair upon his nose ; And book produced, to see how they would fit: Asked how he liked 'em ?Z“ Like 'em-not a bit.”— “Then sir, I fancy, if you please to try, These in my hand will belier suit your eye”— “ No, but they don'i”—“ Well, come, sir, if you please Here is another sort, we'll e'en try these ; Still somewhat more they maynily the letier; Now, sir ?”—“ Why now I'ın not a bit the better" “No! here, take these that magnisy still more ; How do they fit ?"_" Like all the rest before.” In short, they tried a whole assortment through, But all in vain, for none of 'em would do. The operator, much surprised to find So odd a case, thoughi, sure the man is blind : “ What sort of eyes can you have got ?" said he,
Why, very good ones, frienil, as you may see :" “ Yes, I perceive the clearness of the ballPray, let me ask you--can you read at all?"
“No, you great blockhead; if I could, what need
10. THE SCHOOLBOY'S COMPLAINT.—Anonymous.
I love my master, and my school full well,
When, if by chance, my hands do get a stain,
If slate-string lose,-or pencil chance to drop,
Oh! direful cane! I wish the burning sun
Oh! friends believe me, hear me speak my mind :
Oh! what a sufferer, when shall I be freed ?-
I'll go to him, for he's a man of peace,
ind in his school the war of cane shall cease ; i went, and sound to finish my mishap, Instead of cane, a substitute called-strap.
Oh! wrotched me! how oft I've wished in vain,
11. THE THREE BLACK CROWS.—Byrom.
Two honest tradesmen meeting in the Strand, One took the other briskly by the hand; “ Hark ye,” said he, “'tis an odd story this, About the crows !"_“1 don't know what it is," Replied his friend.—“No! I'm surprised at that; Where I come from, it is the common chat: But you shall hear: an odd affair indeed! And that it happened, they are all agreed : Not to detain you from a thing so strange, A gentleman, that lives not far from 'Change, This week, in short, as all the alley knows, Taking a puke, has thrown up three black crows." “Impossible !"_“Nay, but it's really true, I had it from good hands, and so may you.” “ From whose, I pray ?” So having named the man Straight to inquire his curious comrade ran. “ Sir, did you tell”-relating the affair “ Yes, sir, I did; and if it's worth your care Ask Mr. Such-a-one, he told it me; But, by the by, 'twas two black crows, not three.” Resolved to trace so wondrous an event, Whip to the third, the virtuoso went. “ Sir,”—and so forth-" Why, yes; the thing is fact, Though in regard to number not exact; It was not two black crows, 'twas only one; The truth of that you may depend upon. The gentleman himself told me the case." " Where may I find him ?” “Why,-in such a place." Away he goes, and having found him out, “ Sir, be so good as to resolve a doubt." Then to his last informant he referred, And begged to know if true what he had heard. “ Did you, sir, throw up a black crow ?” “Not I !" “ Bless me! how people propagate a lie! Black crows have been thrown up, three, two, and one, And here I find at last all comes to none'
Did you say nothing of a crow at all ?” “ Crow-crow—perhaps I might, now I recall The matter over.” “And pray, sir, what was't ?" “ Why, I was horrid sick, and, at the last, I did throw up, and told my neighbor so, Something that was as black, sir, as a crow.”
12. THE GOUTY MERCHANT AND THE STRANGER
In Broad-street buildings, (on a winter night,)
Sat all alone, with one hand rubbing
Ships, shops, and slops,
When, lo! a decent personage in black,
“Your footman, sir, has gone his nightly track To the-Kings Head, And left your door ajar, which I Observed in passing by ;
And thought it neighborly to give you notice." Ten thousand thanks—how very few get
In time of danger
Such kind attentions from a stranger!
Indeed! replied the stranger, (looking grave,)
Then he's a double knave:
Of these domestic foes,
Even beneath your very nose, Perform his knavish tricks;
Enter your room, as I have dono,