Enter DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.

Antipholus of S. Why, how now, Dromio! where runn'st thou so fast?

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Dromio of S. Do you know me, sir? am I Dromio? am I your man? am I myself?

Antipholus of S. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thyself.

Dromio of S. I am an ass, I am a woman's man, and besides myself.

Antipholus of S. What woman's man? and how besides thyself?

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Dromio of S. Marry, sir, besides myself, I am due to a woman; one that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me.

Antipholus of S. What claim lays she to thee?

Dromio of S. Marry, sir, such a claim as you would lay to your horse; and she would have me as a beast: not that, I being a beast, she would have me, but that she, being a very beastly creature, lays claim to me.

Antipholus of S. What is she?

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I

Dromio of S. A very reverent body; ay, such a one as a man may not speak of without he say sir - reverence. have but lean luck in the match, and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage.

Antipholus of S. How dost thou mean a fat marriage?

Dromio of S. Marry, sir, she 's the kitchen wench and all grease; and I know not what use to put her to but to make a lamp of her and run from her by her own light. I warrant, her rags and the tallow in them will burn a Poland winter; if she lives till doomsday, she 'll burn a week longer than the whole world.

Antipholus of S. What complexion is she of?

ΙΟΙ

Dromio of S. Swart, like my shoe, but her face nothing like

so clean kept: for why, she sweats; a man may go over shoes in the grime of it.

Antipholus of S. That's a fault that water will mend.

Dromio of S. No, sir, 't is in grain; Noah's flood could not do it.

Antipholus of S. What 's her name?

Dromio of S. Nell, sir; but her name and three quarters, that 's an ell and three quarters, will not measure her from hip to hip.

Antipholus of S. Then she bears some breadth?

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Dromio of S. No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip: she is spherical, like a globe; I could find out countries in her.

Antipholus of S. In what part of her body stands Scotland? Dromio of S. I found it by the barrenness; hard in the palm of the hand.

Antipholus of S. Where France?

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Dromio of S. In her forehead; armed and reverted, mak ing war against her heir.

Antipholus of S. Where England?

Dromio of S. I looked for the chalky cliffs, but I could find no whiteness in them; but I guess it stood in her chin, by the salt rheum that ran between France and it.

Antipholus of S. Where Spain?

Dromio of S. Faith, I saw it not; but I felt it hot in her breath.

Antipholus of S. Where America, the Indies?

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Dromio of S. O, sir, upon her nose, all o'er embellished with rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, declining their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain, who sent whole armadoes of caracks to be ballast at her nose.

Antipholus of S. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands?

Dromio of S. O, sir, I did not look so low. To conclude, this drudge, or diviner, laid claim to me; called me Dromio; swore I was assured to her; told me what privy marks I had

about me, as, the mark of my shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my left arm, that I amazed ran from her as a witch:

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And, I think, if my breast had not been made of faith and my heart of steel,

She had transform'd, me to a curtal dog and made me turn i' the wheel.

Antipholus of S. Go hie thee presently post to the road. An if the wind blow any way from shore,

I will not harbour in this town to-night.

If

any bark put forth, come to the mart, Where I will walk till thou return to me.

If every one knows us and we know none,

'T is time, I think, to trudge, pack, and be gone.

Dromio of S. As from a bear a man would run for life,

So fly I from her that would be my wife.

15

[Exit.

Anipholus of S. There's none but witches do inhabit

here;

And therefore 't is high time that I were hence.
She that doth call me husband, even my soul
Doth for a wife abhor. But her fair sister,
Possess'd with such a gentle sovereign grace,
Of such enchanting presence and discourse,
Hath almost made me traitor to myself;
But, lest myself be guilty to self-wrong,
I'll stop mine ears against the mermaid's song.

Enter ANGELO with the chain.

Angelo. Master Antipholus,-
Antipholus of S.

Angelo. I know it well, sir.

I thought to have ta'en you at

Ay, that 's my name.

Lo, here is the chain. the Porpentine;

The chain unfinish'd made me stay thus long.

16c

Antipholus of S. What is your will that I shall do with this?

E

Angelo. What please yourself, sir; I have made it for you. Antipholus of S. Made it for me, sir! I bespoke it not. Angelo. Not once, nor twice, but twenty times you have. Go home with it and please your wife withal; And soon at supper-time I'll visit you,

And then receive my money for the chain.

Antipholus of S. I pray you, sir, receive the money now, For fear you ne'er see chain nor money more.

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Angelo. You are a merry man, sir; fare you well. [Exit. Antipholus of S. What I should think of this, I cannot

tell;

But this I think, there's no man is so vain

That would refuse so fair an offer'd chain.

I see a man here needs not live by shifts,
When in the streets he meets such golden gifts.
I'll to the mart and there for Dromio stay;
If any ship put out, then straight away.

18c

Exit.

Enter Second Merchant, ANGELO, and an Officer. 2 Merchant. You know since Pentecost the sum is due, And since I have not much importun'd you;

Nor now I had not, but that I am bound

To Persia and want guilders for my voyage.
Therefore make present satisfaction,

Or I'll attach you by this officer.

Angelo. Even just the sum that I do owe to you
Is growing to me by Antipholus,

And in the instant that I met with you
He had of me a chain; at five o'clock
I shall receive the money for the same.

TO