amusing incident that followed it. At the close of the speech the leader of the Opposition party, Hon. Robert Toombs, arose, and after complimenting Mr. Stephens as one of the purest of patriots, moved that the meeting give three cheers for him and adjourn, which was done. Governor Herschel V. Johnson, who was present, met Mr. Toombs on their return to the hotel, and said to him, in substance: "Sir, your action to-night, coming from so prominent a secessionist, deserves all praise, and I for one can not forbear to congratulate you upon such handsome conduct and admirable behavior."

Toombs put on that droll look which always precedes his best hits, and said, dryly, "Yes, I always behave myself at a funeral.'

66

one evening at a new place Miss Logan was indignant at finding that no room had been prepared for her, and said as much. Whereupon the manager bawled out at the top of his voice: "Miss Logan's room is hell! Here, boy, make a fire in hell, and put Miss Logan in there!" The goodhumor of the lady was at once restored; for she knew that he referred to the room marked on the door with a capital "L."

AN overgrown political opponent once undertook to sneer at the diminutive size of Mr. A. H. Stephens, and said, "I could put a little salad oil on you, and swallow you whole." To which Mr. Stephens at once replied, "And if you did you would have more brains in your bowels than you ever had in your head."

THE etiquette of the bar-room in Colorado may be inferred from the following notice, posted in a saloon in that Territory, and forwarded by a correspondent for Eastern enlightenment:

longer than five minutes without taking a drink, or in "NOTICE.-No one is allowed to remain in the hall the sitting-room ten minutes without doing likewise. Any one refusing to drink will be kicked out. No gentlemen are expected to eat the lemon-peel in their cocktails, and those who do so will not have any more in future, and will not be considered gentlemen."

THE following incident occurred in Charleston, South Carolina: A little girl had lost her brother, and on going to school the next day a little playmate noticed her grief, and asked the canse. This was soon told, with the addition that little Willie had gone to heaven, and she could not see him. Her little friend asked if she was certain he was gone to heaven, and was assured that there could be no doubt of that, for mamma said So. "Then," was the instant rejoinder, I know where heaven is, for I saw where they put him, and know the way.' The little mourner had seen the place too, and not knowing the way she started with her guide as soon as the infant-well as other people. Some years ago the Presschool was dismissed. It was late at night, and the earth was wet with those angel tears, the dew drops, when the two friends were found crying at the grave-because, as the sister said, "They had come to the door of heaven, and Willie would not let them in, nor even answer."

DR. MONTGOMERY, of the Harrodsburg (Kentucky) Presbyterian Church, had a little boy as pretty as he was intelligent. His mother, like all mothers, was proud enough of her little prodigy in short dresses, and liked to show off his acquirements before visitors. On one occasion he was up for inspection before some lady callers, and his mother put the usual Catechism question, "Who made you?" Reverently little Jimmy folded his hands as at prayer, and raised his eyes as birds do when "saying grace" after drinking; and then the answer came, "Dod makes and p'eserves us;" and instantly added, "Dood Dod to make p'eserves for us; ain't he, mamma?" Children understand sweetmeats sooner than they do the Catechism.

Is there extant a boy-be he boy of fifty or boy of ten-who will not appreciate the grim humor of the following advertisement, which, under the head of "Instruction," we copy from the New York Daily Times of August 10: FLUSHING INSTITUTE. DEAR BOYS,-TROUBLE BEGINS SEPT. 15.

Ah! didn't it?

E. A. FAIRCHILD.

WHEN Miss Logan, the charming actress, was in the South, her manager happened to be a veritable cockney, with a chronic habit of omitting his h's where they should be, and inserting them where they should not be, as "art" for "heart," "hedge" for "edge," and the like. On arriving

BANKERS must have their little jocularities as

ident of one of the oldest banking institutions of Western New York was called upon to discount a note signed by Mr. G- a member of the Universalist church, and Mr. M- of the Presbyterian church. The note was handed to the President, who, after scanning it closely, passed it to the cashier, saying, "Signed by Universal Salvation and Universal Damnation: I reckon that's safe enough; we'll take it."

THE gigantic failure of the Marquis of Hastings on the English turf, and the disgusting immoralities of the racing men of England, have been capitally hit off by Punch in the following

WAIL BY A SMALL "BOOKMAKER."

I ain't a member of Tattersall's,
But I ventured my pound or so
At a bookmaker's 'ouse in the Boro',
As gentility might term low.
I lost my pound, and the gent
Was took afore the beak;
To prison of course he's sent
For four-and-twenty week.

It's wrong for to venture small,
It's right for to venture large:

It seems all square for the rich and sich
What never gets given in charge.
You may book the bet of a Bart or Duke,
Not of cads and snobs and tykes:
For there's one lor for the Hearl of Fluke,
And another for Villiam Sykes.

destructive explosions, was strongly felt by a good | repeating. Lord Mansfield, having received his woman at a place called Lewis's Island, in Maine, who, seeing a huge object moving rapidly high in mid air, cried out to her brood of little responsibles, "Come in, children, for Heaven's sake; come in quick! there's an awful big bomb-shell coming from the South!" It was Professor Wise, who in his mammoth balloon had made an ascension from Bangor on the ever-memorable Fourth.

BOSTON is celebrated for its monument to the lamented Mr. Bunker Hill, Providence for Roger Williams, Philadelphia for its butter and Quakers, New York for its curiously constructed "rings," and Hartford, as we now learn from the excellent Mr. Twain (Mark), for its Charter Oak. Mr. T. has visited Hartford. He saw the Oak. Likewise heard it spoken of. He says:

education in England, always considered himself an Englishman; but his Scotch origin was once referred to with great effect. General Sabine, Governor of Gibraltar, failing in extorting money from a Jew, sent him back by force to Tetuan, in Barbary, from whence he had come to Gibraltar. The Jew afterward came to England, and sued the Governor for damages. Murray (not yet Lord Mansfield) was counsel for the Governor, and said in his defense before the jury:

"True, the Jew was banished; but to where? Why, to the place of his nativity. Where is the cruelty, where the hardship, where the injustice of banishing a man to his own country ?"

Mr. Norvell, who appeared for the Jew, retorted: "Since my learned friend thinks so lightly of this matter, I would just ask him to suppose the case his own: would he like to be banished to his native land?"

The court rang with peals of laughter, in which

Doctor Johnson would never allow that Scotland derived any credit from Lord Mansfield, as he was educated in England, and then added what has passed into a historical witticism"Much may be done with a Scotchman if he be caught young."

I went all over Hartford with a citizen whose ancestors came over with the Pilgrims in the Quaker City-in the Mayflower I should say-Murray himself joined. and he showed me all the historic relics of Hartford. He showed me a beautiful carved chair in the Senate chamber, where the bewigged and awfully homely old-time governors of the Commonwealth frown from their canvas overhead. "Made from Charter Oak," he said. I gazed upon it with inexpressible solitude. He showed me another carved chair in the House. "Charter Oak," he said. I gazed again with interest. Then he looked at the rusty, stained, and famous old Charter, and presently I turned to move away. But he solemnly drew me back and pointed to the frame. "Charter Oak," said I worshiped. We went down to Wadsworth's Athenæum, and I wanted to look at the pictures; but he conveyed me silently to a corner, and pointed to a log rudely shaped somewhat like a chair, and whispered "Charter Oak." I exhibited the accustomed reverence. He showed me a walking-stick, needle-case, a dog-collar, a three-legged stool, a boot-jack, a dinner-table, a ten-pin alley, a tooth-picker

he.

I interrupted him and said, "Never mindwe'll bunch the whole lumber-yard, and call it—" "Charter Oak," he said.

"Well," I said, "now let us go and see some Charter Oak for a change.'

APROPOS to Lord Mansfield's banishment. In early Texas legal history, a Mrs. M— was con victed of forgery, and sentenced to death-then the legal penalty for that crime. There was at once a general feeling of repugnance at the capital punishment of a woman, especially for such an offense; but there was also a general desire to rid the country of the convict, who was a very notorious character; and President Lamar offered her a pardon provided she would go back to Arkansas, from which State she had removed, and never return to Texas. She peremptorily refused, and is said to have answered, "Hitself before Arkansas!" The President was obliged to pardon her unconditionally.

MR. E. HANNAFORD, of Cincinnati, has recently published on the subscription plan a clever book, in which is narrated the services performed during the war by the Sixth Ohio Regiment. It contains here and there an anecdote, hitherto unpublished, showing the humorous side of war. We reproduce four:

I meant that for a joke; but how was he to know that, being a stranger? He took me around and showed me Charter Oak enough to build a plank-road from here to Great Salt Lake City. Mr. E. A. Pollard, in his "Lost Cause," when It is a shame to confess it, but I began to get a speaking of the Confederate defeat at Missionary little weary of Charter Oak finally: and when Ridge in November, 1863, quotes a humorous he invited me to go home with him to tea, it fill-repartee of a Confederate soldier. "A brigade," ed me with a blessed sense of relief. He introduced me to his wife, and they left me alone a moment to amuse myself with their little boy. said, in a grave, paternal way,

"My son, what is your name?"

I

And he said, "Charter Oak Johnson." This was sufficient for a sensitive nature like mine. I departed out of that mansion without another word.

A CORRESPONDENT at Galveston, Texas, in alluding to our inquiry as to the authorship of the saying, "Much may be done with a Scotchman if he be caught young," remarks that it was said of Lord Mansfield by Doctor Johnson, and adds: The connection in which it is told may be worth

says Mr. Pollard, "in the centre gave way, and in a few moments what had been a regular and vigorous battle became a disgraceful panic and an unmitigated rout. Never was victory plucked so easily from a position so strong.......General Bragg attempted to rally the broken troops; he advanced into the fire, and exclaimed, 'Here is your commander!' but was answered with the derisive shouts of an absurd catch-phrase in the army, Here's your mule!"

was not a person with strong literary proclivities, the Colonel said: "What are you doing with that Bible, Dan?-you can't read it?"

"No, massa, can't zack'ly read 'em, but I c'n spell 'em out a little.'

"What's the use of spelling it out? You can't understand it, any way. The Bible, for instance, says that the very hairs of our head are numbered. Now you haven't any hair on your head -nothing but wool. What do you say to that?" "Yes, massa, I 'spect dat's so; but I spell out little verse w'ich say dat on las' day de sheep dey will go one side and de goats on de todder. Now de sheep has de wool, but de goats dey got ha'r, jus' like white folks, and I 'spect dey ain't gwine to be saved-dat's w'at I 'spect!"

JOHN SAVAGE, Esquire, has spoken in glowing terms of the appearance of Alexander H. Stephens before the Commercial Convention at Charleston, South Carolina, in the year 1839; but there is an incident of that visit to the "city between the rivers" which he does not give. Mr. Stephens was accompanied by two merchants (Mr. Thomas Chafin and Dr. John M. Anthony), who were his personal friends, and together they sought the hotel kept by a kind but very energetic woman. Mr. Stephens was then, as always, of feeble health, and being fatigued, availed himDURING the march of the Sixth Ohio Regi- self of a comfortable sofa or lounge to make the ment from Cripple Creek to the Chickamauga situation as easy as possible. Just then the landthe soldiers were compelled to sleep in that most lady came in, and found the two merchants still uncomfortable of all shelters, a “dog tent”—so standing, while some one, whom she took for a called from its capacity to hold about one ordi- country boy, occupied the easy lounge. Her nary dog. The successes of Rosecrans were bring- manner was perfectly kind, and somewhat pating the campaign to a conclusion. In the Confed-ronizing, as she said to him, "My son, you must erate army there seemed to be a growing dissatisfaction and consciousness of weakness-such, in fact, as induced many hundreds of Tennesseeans to desert and return to their former homes. The mistake was not unnatural, therefore, when Rosecrans's men pronounced the war in Tennessee "about played out;" or, as a staff-officer in the Sixth Ohio expressed it, by a pun of unmitigated atrocity, it was "about ended to all in-tents and purp-houses!"

APROPOS of the terrible earthquakes in South America, we have to tell a story which will serve to illustrate the comic features of even so terrible

a scene:

let the gentlemen have this seat.'

The "gentlemen" were amused, and the good lady somewhat troubled when she afterward found that her "son" was the important personage of her house, and the lion of the whole city.

MANY good things have been published as the sayings of Judge Dooly, of Georgia, but the following is, so far as we know, new to the types.

His residence was approached by a long lane, some mile and a quarter in length, leading through the plantation, and far from comfortable on the burning August day of the incident. A neighbor, possessed of more lungs than brain, rode down this lane, and without dismounting at the yard gate, some five hundred feet from the dwelling, he began to call aloud and wave his hat, as if a house was on fire. Judge Dooly came out in great haste to learn the cause of the noise, and was saluted with, "I say, you haven't seen Mr. Williams about here to-day, have you?" "No," said the Judge.

Well, that's all I wanted," said the fellow, as he rode off.

Just before the departure of the Hon. Anson Burlinghame for China, some years ago, he was closeted with Mr. Van Valkenburg, Minister to Japan (the same who has since distinguished himself in maintaining foreign foothold in Osaca); Colonel Buckley, Chief Engineer of the Siberian Telegraph Company (the same who has since given us a correct estimate of the value of Alaska); and Colonel Thomas M. Knox (the same who has since given the readers of this Magazine Dooly waited until he was nearly out of sight an entertaining account of his travels on the up the long lane, and then commenced to blow a Amoor and through Siberia, and who is still to horn which hung in the porch; and when the tell his story of a thirty-six hundred mile sleigh-horseman turned to see what it was the Judge in ride through White Russia), engaged in a game of "High, low, Jack, and the game." Fred Macrellish and Will Woodward, proprietors of the Alta Californian (since and always distinguished as "jolly good fellows), were engaged in watching the game. Knox had been indulging Macrellish, during the intervals of the game, with an account of his horror of earthquakes, and his fear that if one should happen (eight or ten visit San Francisco every year) his two hundred pounds would be the first to suffer. Macrellish endeavored to quiet his fears by hoping that he would have an opportunity of enjoying one before he sailed. Shortly after the pictures and looking-glasses hanging on the wall began to shake and rattle; the glass and the pitcher of ice-water on the card-table jingled together, and "those who were seated" felt the floor moving beneath them in a most intoxicating manner.

"There!" said Macrellish, "there, Tom

turn began to beckon with his arms, and shout for him to return, which he did at full speed. Arriving again at the yard gate, Dooly called out to him, "Come up here, I want to speak to you!" So the man dismounted, and came up to the porch. The Judge paused in his walk, and said, fiercely:

"No, Sir! I have not seen Mr. Williams, and hang me if I want to see him! That's all, Sir: you can go now."

HON. GARNETT ANDREWS, of Georgia, tells of another occasion in which he was the victim of Dooly's wit.

It seems that Judge Dooly had conceived the idea that young Andrews, then only an attorney, was quite too slow for a business man. At one of the County Court sessions some of the bar, including the Judge, were congregated to eat watermelons. When the supply on hand was exhaust

How will this do on a disreputable subject of ing them without rhubarb, and exhibit to man

Or this, which is commendably exact as to the and the bowels of mankind locked up for fourage of the parties?

On a certain occasion Judge Underwood (not iterranean!"