And manage it against despairing thoughts.
Thy letters may be here, though thou art hence;
Which, being writ to me, shall be deliver'd
Even in the milk-white bosom of thy love.4
The time now serves not to expostulate :
Come, I'll convey thee through the city gate;
And, ere I part with thee, confer at large
Of all that may concern thy love-affairs:
As thou lov❜st Silvia, though not for thyself,
Regard thy danger, and along with me.

Val. I pray thee, Launce, an if thou seest my boy, Bid him make haste, and meet me at the north-gate. Pro. Go, sirrah, find him out.-Come, Valentine. Val. O my dear Silvia! hapless Valentine !

[Exeunt VAL. and PRO.

Laun. I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to think, my master is a kind of knave: but that's all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now, that knows me to be in love: yet I am in love; but a team of horse shall not pluck that from me ;5 nor who 'tis I love, and yet 'tis a woman: but that woman, I will not tell myself; and yet tis a milk-maid: yet 'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips: yet 'tis a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a water-spaniel-which is much in a bare Christian. Here is the cat-log [pulling out a paper] of her conditions. Imprimis, She can fetch and carry. Why, a horse can do no more; nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only carry; therefore, is she better than a jade. Item, She can milk; look you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands.

Enter SPEED.

Speed. How now, signior Launce? what news with your mastership?

Laun. With my master's ship? why, it is at sea.

[4] Trifling as the remark may appear, before the meaning of this address of letters to the bosom of a mistress can be understood, it should be known that women anciently had a pocket in the fore part of their stays, in which they not only carried love-letters and love tokens, but even their money and materials for needle work. In many parts of England the rustic damsels still observe the same practice; and a very old lady informs me that she remembers, when it was the fashion to wear prominent stays, it was no less the custom for stratagem and gallantry to drop its literary favours within the front of them. STEEVENS.

[5] I see how Valentine suffers for telling his love-secrets, therefore I will keep mine close. JOHNSON.

Speed Well, your old vice still; mistake the word : What news then in your paper?

Laun. The blackest news that ever thou heard'st.
Speed. Why, man, how black?

Laun. Why, as black as ink.
Speed. Let me read them.

Laun. Fie on thee, jolt-head; thou canst not read.
Speed. Thou liest, I can.

Laun. I will try thee: Tell me this, Who begot thee? Speed. Marry, the son of my grandfather.

Laun. O illiterate loiterer! it was the son of thy grandmother this proves, that thou canst not read. Speed. Come, fool, come: try me in thy paper. Laun. There; and St. Nicholas be thy speed. Speed. Imprimis, She can milk.

Laun. Ay, that she can.

Speed. Item, She brews good ale.

Laun. And thereof comes the proverb, Blessing of

your heart, you brew good ale.

Speed. Item, She can sew.

Laun. That's as much as to say, Can she so ?

Speed. Item, She can knit.

Laun. What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when she can knit him a stock?

Speed. Item, She can wash and scour.

Laun. A special virtue; for then she need not be washed and scoured.

Speed. Item, She can spin.

Laun. Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can spin for her living.

Speed. Item, She hath many nameless virtues.

Laun. That's as much as to say, Bastard virtues ; that, indeed, know not their fathers, and therefore have

no names.

Speed. Here follow her vices.

Laun. Close at the heels of her virtues.

Speed. Item, She is not to be kiss'd fasting, in respect of her breath."

Laun. Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast: Read on.

[6] St. Nicholas presided over scholars, who were therefore called St.Nicholas's clerks. Hence, by a quibble between Nicholas and Old Nick, highwaymen, in the First Part of Henry the Fourth, are called Nicholas's Clerks. WARBURTON.

Speed. Item, She hath a sweet mouth.7

Laun. That makes amends for her sour breath.
Speed. Item, She doth talk in her sleep.

Laun. It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk.

Speed. Item, She is slow in words.

Laun. O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words, is a woman's only virtue

thee, out with't; and place it for her chief virtue. Speed. Item, She is proud.

I pray

Laun. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannot be ta'en from her.

Speed. Item, She hath no teeth.

Laun. Icare not for that neither,because I love crusts. Speed. Item, She is curst.

Laun. Well; the best is, she hath no teeth to bite. Speed. Item, She will often praise her liquor.8

Laun. If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I will; for good things should be praised.

Speed. Item, She is too liberal.9

Laun. Of her tongue she cannot; for that's writ down she is slow of of her purse she shall not; for that I'll keep shut now, of another thing she may; and that I cannot help. Well, proceed.

Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit1 and more faults than hairs, and more wealth that faults. Laun. Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article: Rehearse that once more.

Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit,—

Laun. More hair than wit,-it may be ; I'll prove it: The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair, that covers the wit, is more than the wit; for the greater hides the less. What's next?

Speed. And more faults than hairs,

Laun. That's monstrous: O, that that were out! Speed. And more wealth than faults.

Laun. Why, that word makes the faults gracious:

[7] This I take to be the same with what is now vulgarly called a sweet tooth, a luxurious desire of dainties and sweet meats. JOHNSON. [8] That is, shew how well she likes it by drinking often. JOHNSON. [9] Liberal, is licentious and gross in language. [1] An old English proverb. See Ray's Collection: "Bush natural, more hair than wit."

JOHNSON.
STEEV.

Well, I'll have her: And if it be a match, as nothing

is impossible,

Speed. What then?

Laun. Why, then I will tell thee,-that thy master stays for thee at the north gate.

Speed. For me?

Laun. For thee? ay; who art thou? he hath staid for a better man than thee.

Speed. And must I go to him?

Laun. Thou must run to him, for thou hast staid so long, that going will scarce serve the turn.

Speed. Why didst not tell me sooner? 'pox of your love-letters!

[Exit. Laun. Now will he be swinged for reading my letter: An unmannerly slave,that will thrust himself into secrets! -I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's correction. [Exit.

SCENE II.

The same. A room in the Duke's palace. Enter Duke and THURIO; PROTEUS behind.

Duke. Sir Thurio, fear not, but that she will love you, Now Valentine is banish'd from her sight.

Thu. Since his exile she hath despis'd me most,
Forsworn my company, and rail'd at me,
That I am desperate of obtaining her.

Duke. This weak impress of love is as a figure
Trenched in ice ;2 which with an hour's heat
Dissolves to water, and doth lose his form.
A little time will melt her frozen thoughts,
And worthless Valentine shall be forgot.—
How now, sir Proteus? is your countryman,
According to our proclamation, gone?
Pro. Gone, my good lord.

Duke. My daughter takes his going grievously.
Pro. A little time, my lord, will kill that grief.
Duke. So I believe; but Thurio thinks not so.-
Proteus, the good conceit I hold of thee,
(For thou hast shewn some sign of good desert,)
Makes me the better to confer with thee.

Pro. Longer than I prove loyal to your grace,
Let me not live to look upon your grace.

Duke. Thou know'st how willingly I would effect [2] Trenched, cut, carved in ice. Trancher, to cut, French.

JOHNSON."

The match between sir Thurio and my daughter.
Pro. I do, my lord.

Duke. And also, I think, thou art not ignorant
How she opposes her against my will.

Pro. She did, my lord, when Valentine was here.
Duke. Ay, and perversely she persévers so.
What might we do, to make the girl forget
The love of Valentine, and love sir Thurio?
Pro. The best way is to slander Valentine
With falsehood, cowardice, and poor descent;
Three things that women highly hold in hate.
Duke. Ay, but she'll think, that it is spoke in hate.
Pro. Ay, if his enemy deliver it:

Therefore it must, with circumstance, be spoken
By one, whom she esteemeth as his friend.

Duke. Then you must undertake to slander him.
Pro. And that, my lord, I shall be loth to do:
'Tis an ill office for a gentleman;

Especially, against his very friend.

Duke. Where your good word cannot advantage him, Your slander never can endamage him;

Therefore the office is indifferent,

Being intreated to it by your friend.

Pro. You have prevail'd, my lord: if I can do it,

By aught that I can speak in his dispraise,

She shall not long continue love to him.

But say, this weed her love from Valentine,

It follows not that she will love sir Thurio.

Thu. Therefore, as you unwind her love from him, Lest it should ravel, and be good to none,

You must provide to bottom it on me :3

Which must be done by praising me as much

As you in worth dispraise sir Valentine.

Duke. And, Proteus, we dare trust you in this kind : Because we know, on Valentine's report,

You are already love's firm votary,

And cannot soon revolt and change your mind.
Upon this warrant shall you have access,
Where you with Silvia may confer at large ;
For she is lumpish, heavy, melancholy,

And, for your friend's sake, will be glad of you;

[3] As you wind off her love from him, make me the bottom on which you wind it. The housewife's term for a ball of thread wound upon a central body, is a bottom of thread. JOHNSON.