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Ford. I'll prat her:-Out of my door, you witch! [beats him.] you rag, you baggage, you polecat, you ronyon! out! out! I'll conjure you, I'll fortune-tell you. [Exit. FAL.

Mrs. Page. Are you not ashamed? I think, you have killed the poor woman.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, he will do it :-'Tis a goodly credit for you.

Ford. Hang her, witch!

Eva. By yea and no, I think, the 'oman is a witch indeed I like not when a 'oman has a great peard; I spy a great peard under her muffler.

Ford. Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you, follow; see but the issue of my jealousy: if I cry out thus upon no trail, 4 never trust me when I open again. Page. Let's obey his humour a little further: Come, gentlemen. [Ex. PAGE, FORD, SHAL. and Eva. Mrs. Page. Trust me, he beat him most pitifully. Mrs. Ford. Nay, by the mass, that he did not; he beat him most unpitifully, methought.

Mrs. Page. I'll have the cudgel hallowed, and hang o'er the altar; it hath done meritorious service.

Mrs. Ford. What think you? May we, with the warrant of woman-hood, and the witness of a good consience, pursue him with any further revenge ?

Mrs. Page. The spirit of wantonness is, sure, scared out of him; if the devil have him not in fee-simple, with fine and recovery,5 he will never, I think, in the way of waste, attempt us again.

Mrs. Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how we have served him?

Mrs. Page. Yes, by all means; if it be but to scrape the figures out of your husband's brains. If they can find in their hearts, the poor unvirtuous fat knight shall be any further afflicted, we two will still be the ministers.

Mrs. Ford. I'll warrant, they'll have him publicly

[4] The expression is taken from the hunters. Trail is the scent left by the passage of the game. To cry out is to open or bark. JOHNSON.

As the second stratagem, by which Falstaff escapes, is much the grosser of the two, I wish it had been practised first. It is very unlikely that Ford, having been so deceived before, and knowing that he had been deceived, would suffer him to escape in so slight a disguise. JOHNSON

[5] Our author had been long enough in an attorney's office, to learn that fee-simple is the largest estate, and fine and recovery the strongest assurance, known to English law. RITSON.

shamed: and, methinks, there would be no period to the jest, should he not be publicly shamed.

Mrs. Page. Come, to the forge with it then, shape it: I would not have things cool.

SCENE III.

[Exeunt.

A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter Host and BARDOLPH. Bard. Sir, the Germans desire to have three of your horses: the duke himself will be to-morrow at court, and they are going to meet him.

Host. What duke should that be, comes so secretly? I hear not of him in the court: Let me speak with the gentlemen; they speak English?

Bard. Ay, sir; I'll call them to you.

Host. They shall have my horses; but I'll make them pay, I'll sauce them: They have had my houses a week at command; I have turned away my other guests: they must come off; I'll sauce them: Come. [Exeunt.

SCENE IV.

A Room in FORD's house. Enter PAGE, FORD, Mrs. PAGE, Mrs. FORD, and Sir HUGH EVANS.

Eva. 'Tis one of the pest discretions of a 'oman as ever I did look upon.

Page. And did he send you both these letters at an instant ?

Mrs. Page. Within a quarter of an hour.

Ford. Pardon me, wife: Henceforth do what thou wilt;

I rather will suspect the sun with cold,

Than thee with wantonness: now doth thy honour stand, In him that was of late an heretic,

As firm as faith.

Page. 'Tis well, 'tis well; no more. Be not as éxtreme in submission,

As in offence;

But let our plot go forward: let our wives
Yet once again, to make us public sport,
Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,

Where we may take him, and disgrace him for it.
Ford. There is no better way than that they spoke of.
Page. How to send him word they'll meet him in
the park at midnight! fie, fie; he'll never come.

Eva. You say, he has been thrown into the rivers ; and has been grievously peaten, as an old 'oman: methinks, there should be terrors in him, that he should not come; methinks, his flesh is punished, he shall have no desires.

Page. So think I too.

Mrs. Ford. Devise but how you'll use him when he

comes,

And let us two devise to bring him thither.

Mrs. Page. There is an old tale goes, that Herne the hunter,

Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest,
Doth all the winter-time, at still midnight,

Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd horns;
And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle ;6
And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a chain
In a most hideous and dreadful manner :

You've heard of such a spirit ; and well you know,
The superstitious idle-headed eld

Received, and did deliver to our age,

This tale of Herne the Hunter for a truth.

Page. Why, yet there want not many, that do fear In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak: But what of this?

Mrs. Ford. Marry, this is our device;

That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us,
Disguised like Herne, with huge horns on his head.
Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come,
And in this shape: When you have brought him thither,
What shall be done with him? what is your plot?
Mrs. Page. That likewise have we thought upon, and
thus:-

Nan Page my daughter, and my little son,

And three or four more of their growth, we'll dress
Like urchins, ouphes, and fairies, green and white,
With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,
And rattles in their hands; upon a sudden,
As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met,

Let them from forth a saw-pit rush at once

[6] To take, in Shakspeare, signifies to seize or strike with a disease, to blast. JOHNSON.

[7] The primitive signification of urchin is a hedge-hog. Hence it comes to signify any thing little and dwarfish. Ouph is the Teutonick word for a fairy or goblin. STEEVENS.

With some diffused song ; upon their sight,
We two in great amazedness will fly :
Then let them all encircle him about,

And, fairy-like, to pinch the unclean knight;
And ask him, why, that hour of fairy revel,
In their so sacred paths he dares to tread,
In shape profane ?

Mrs. Ford. And, till he tell the truth,
Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound,
And burn him with their tapers.

Mrs. Page. The truth being known,
We'll all present ourselves; dis-horn the spirit,
And mock him home to Windsor.

Ford. The children must

Be practised well to this, or they'll neʼer do't.

Eva. I will teach the children their behaviours, and I will be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the knight with my taber.

Ford. That will be excellent. I'll go buy them vizards. Mrs. Page. My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies, Finely attired in a robe of white.

Page. That silk will I go buy ;—and in that time Shall master Slender steal my Nan away.

[Aside. And marry her at Eton.-Go, send to Falstaff straight. Ford. Nay, I'll to him again in name of Brook : He'll tell me all his purpose: Sure, he'll come.

Mrs. Page. Fear not you that: Go, get us properties, And tricking for our fairies.

Eva. Let us about it: It is admirable pleasures, and fery honest knaveries. [Ex. PAGE, FORD, and EVANS. Mrs. Page. Go, mistress Ford,

Send Quickly to sir John, to know his mind.

[Exit Mrs. FORD. I'll to the doctor; he hath my good will, And none but he, to marry with Nan Page. That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot; And he my husband best of all affects: The doctor is well money'd, and his friends Potent at court; he, none but he, shall have her, Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her. [Exit.

[8] A diffused song signifies a song that strikes out into wild sentiments be yond the bounds of nature, such as those whose subject is fairy land. WAR. [9] Properties are little incidental necessaries to a theatre, exclusive of scenes and dresses. STEEVENS.

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SCENE V.

A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter Host and SIMPLE.

Host. What wouldst thou have, boor? what, thickskin? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap. Sim. Marry, sir, I come to speak with sir John Falstaff from master Slender.

Host. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his standing-bed, and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the story of the prodigal, fresh and new: Go, knock and call; he'll speak like an Anthropophaginian unto thee:-Knock, I say.

Sim. There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into his chamber; I'll be so bold as stay, sir, till she come down I come to speak with her, indeed.

Host. Ha a fat woman! the knight may be robbed ; I'll call.-Bully knight! bully sir John! speak from thy lungs military: Art thou there? it is thine host, thine Ephesian, calls.

Fal. [above.] How now, mine host?

Host. Here's a Bohemian-Tartar, tarries the coming down of thy fat woman: Let her descend, bully, let her descend; my chambers are honourable: Fie! privacy? fie! Enter FALSTAFF.

Fal. There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with me; but she's gone.

Sim. Pray you, sir, was't not the wise woman of Brentford ?

Fal. Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell;2 what would you with her?

Sim. My master, sir, my master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go thorough the street, to know, sir, whether one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the chain, or no.

Fal. I spake with the old woman about it.
Sim. And what says she, I pray, sir?

Fal. Marry, she says, that the very same man that beguiled master Slender of his chain, cozened him of it. Sim. I would, I could have spoken with the woman

[1] In Germany there were several companies of vagabonds, &c. called Tartars and Zigens. "These were the same in my opinion," says Mezeray, "as those the French call Bohemians and the English Gypsies." TOLLET. [2] He calls poor Simple muscle-shell, because he stands with his mouth open. JOHNSON.

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