เ nothing! and canst thou tell me any interest he could possibly propose to himself by deceiving us in his pro'fessions?'-'It is not for me,' answered Joseph, 'to 'give reasons for what men do to a gentleman of your learning.'-' You say right,' quoth Adams; 'knowledge ' of men is only to be learnt from books; Plato and 'Seneca for that; and those are authors, I am afraid, 'child, you never read.'-'Not I, Sir, truly,' answered Joseph; all I know is, it is a maxim among the gentlemen of our cloth, that those masters who promise the most, perform the least; and I have often heard them say, they have found the largest vails in those families 'where they were not promised any. But, Sir, instead of considering any farther these matters, it would be 'our wisest way to contrive some method of getting out of this house; for the generous gentleman, instead of 'doing us any service, hath left us the whole reckoning to pay.' Adams was going to answer, when their host came in, and, with a kind of jeering smile, said, 'Well, masters! the squire hath not sent his horses for you yet. Laud help me! how easily some folks make promises!' 'How!' says Adams, "have you ever known him to do any thing of this kind before?'-'Ay! marry have I,’ answered the host; 'it is no business of mine, you know, Sir, to say any thing to a gentleman to his face; but now he is not here, I will assure you he hath not his 'fellow within the three next market-towns. I own I 'could not help laughing when I heard him offer you เ เ the living; for thereby hangs a good jest. I thought 'he would have offered you my house next, for one is no 'more his to dispose of than the other.' At these words Adams, blessing himself, declared, he had never read of such a monster. But what vexes me most,' says he, 'is, that he hath decoyed us into running up a long debt 'with you, which we are not able to pay, for we have no เ เ เ เ money about us; and what is worse, live at such a 'distance, that if you should trust us, I am afraid you would lose your money, for want of our finding any conveniency of sending it.'-' Trust you, Master,' says the host; that I will with all my heart. I honour the clergy too much to deny trusting one of them for such a trifle; besides, I like your fear of never paying me. 'I have lost many a debt in my life-time; but was pro'mised to be paid them all in a very short time. I will ' score this reckoning for the novelty of it. It is the first, I do assure you, of its kind. But what say you, 'Master, shall we have t'other pot before we part? It 'will waste but a little chalk more; and if you never pay me a shilling, the loss will not ruin me.' Adams liked the invitation very well, especially as it was delivered with so hearty an accent. He shook his host by the hand, and thanking him, said, 'He would tarry 'another pot, rather for the pleasure of such worthy company than for the liquor;' adding, 'he was glad to 'find some Christians left in the kingdom, for that he 'almost began to suspect that he was sojourning in a country inhabited only by Jews and Turks.' The kind host produced the liquor, and Joseph with Fanny retired into the garden; where while they solaced themselves with amorous discourse, Adams sat down with his host and both filling their glasses and lighting their pipes, they began that dialogue which the reader will find in the next chapter. CHAPTER XVII. A dialogue between Mr. Abraham Adams and his host, which, by the disagreement in their opinions, seemed to threaten an unlucky catastrophe, had it not been timely prevented by the return of the lovers. เ เ เ SIR,' said the host, I assure you you are not the first to 'whom our squire hath promised more than he hath performed. He is so famous for this practice, that his word ' will not be taken for much by those who know him. I remember a young fellow whom he promised his parents to make an exciseman. The poor people, who could ill 'afford it, bred their son to writing and accounts, and other learning, to qualify him for the place; and the boy held up his head above his condition with these hopes; nor would he go to plough, nor to any other 'kind of work; and went constantly drest as fine as could be, with two clean Holland shirts a week, and this for several years; 'till at last he followed the squire up to 'London, thinking there to mind him of his promises; 'but he could never get sight of him. So that being out ' of money and business, he fell into evil company, and ' wicked courses; and in the end came to a sentence of 'transportation, the news of which broke the mother's 'heart. I will tell you another true story of him: There เ was a neighbour of mine, a farmer, who had two sons 'whom he bred up to the business. Pretty lads they were. Nothing would serve the squire but that the youngest must be made a parson. Upon which, he per'suaded the father to send him to school, promising that 'he would afterwards maintain him at the university; and when he was of a proper age, give him a living. เ เ เ เ เ 666 'But after the lad had been seven years at school, and his 'father had brought him to the squire, with a letter from 'his master that he was fit for the university; the squire, ' instead of minding his promise, or sending him thither at his expense, only told his father that the young man was a fine scholar, and it was pity he could not afford to keep him at Oxford for four or five years more, by which time, if he could get him a curacy, he might have him ' ordained. The farmer said, he was not a man sufficient 'to do any such thing.-"Why then," answered the squire, "I am very sorry you have given him so much ""learning; for if he cannot get his living by that, it will ""rather spoil him for any thing else; and your other 666 son, who can hardly write his name, will do more at ploughing and sowing, and is in a better condition, than "he." And indeed so it proved; for the poor lad, not finding friends to maintain him in his learning as he had 'expected, and being unwilling to work, fell to drinking, though he was a very sober lad before; and in a short 'time, partly with grief, and partly with good liquor, fell 'into a consumption, and died. Nay, I can tell you more 'still: There was another, a young woman, and the handเ somest in all this neighbourhood, whom he enticed up to 'London, promising to make her a gentlewoman to one of your women of quality; but instead of keeping his word, we have since heard, after having a child by her 'himself, she became a common whore; then kept a เ coffee-house in Covent Garden; and a little after died of the French distemper in a gaol.-I could tell you many more stories; but how do you imagine he served me 'myself? You must know, Sir, I was bred a sea-faring man, and have been many voyages; till at last I came to be a master of a ship myself, and was in a fair way 'of making a fortune, when I was attacked by one of 'those cursed guarda-costas who took our ships before the เ เ เ beginning of the war; and after a fight, wherein I lost 'the greater part of my crew, my rigging being all de'molished, and two shots received between wind and 6 water, I was forced to strike. The villains carried off my ship, a brigantine of 150 tons, a pretty creature she was, and put me, a man, and a boy, into a little bad pink, in which, with much ado, we at last made Falmouth; though I believe the Spaniards did not imagine 'she could possibly live a day at sea. Upon my return ' hither, where my wife, who was of this country, then 'lived, the squire told me he was so pleased with the defence I had made against the enemy, that he did not fear 'getting me promoted to a lieutenancy of a man of war, ' if I would accept of it; which I thankfully assured him 'I would. Well, Sir, two or three years passed, during ' which I had many repeated promises, not only from the squire, but (as he told me) from the lords of the admiralty. He never returned from London, but I was 'assured I might be satisfied now, for I was certain of the first vacancy; and what surprised me still, when I reflect on it, these assurances were given me with no 'less confidence, after so many disappointments, than 'at first. At last, Sir, growing weary, and somewhat 'suspicious, after so much delay, I wrote to a friend in 'London, who I knew had some acquaintance at the 'best house in the admiralty, and desired him to back the squire's interest; for indeed I feared he had solicited the 'affair with more coldness than he pretended. And what เ answer do you think my friend sent me? Truly, Sir, 'he acquainted me that the squire had never mentioned เ my name at the admiralty in his life; and, unless I had much faithfuller interest, advised me to give over my pretensions; which I immediately did, and, with the เ concurrence of my wife, resolved to set up an alehouse, 'where you are heartily welcome; and so my service to |