เ เ ' the beholders, who declared he was the best dancer in the universe. As soon as the devil had done tormenting him, and he had a little recovered his confusion, he returned to the table, standing up in the posture of one who intended to make a speech. They all cried out, Hear him, hear him; and he then spoke in the following manner: Sir, I am sorry to see one to whom Providence hath been เ so bountiful in bestowing his favours make so ill and ungrateful a return for them; for, though you have not 'insulted me yourself, it is visible you have delighted in 'those that do it, nor have once discouraged the many rudenesses which have been shown towards me; indeed, 'towards yourself, if you rightly understood them; for I am your guest, and by the laws of hospitality entitled to your protection. One gentleman had thought proper to produce some poetry upon me, of which I shall only say, that I had rather be the subject than the composer. He 'hath pleased to treat me with disrespect as a parson. I apprehend my order is not the object of scorn, nor that 'I can become so, unless by being a disgrace to it, which 'I hope poverty will never be called. Another gentleman indeed, hath repeated some sentences, where the order เ itself is mentioned with contempt. He says they are taken from plays. I am sure such plays are a scandal to 'the government which permits them, and cursed will be 'the nation where they are represented. How others have treated me, I need not observe; they themselves, 'when they reflect, must allow the behaviour to be as 'improper to my years as to my cloth. You found me, 'Sir, travelling with two of my parishioners (I omit your 'hounds falling on me; for I have quite forgiven it, 'whether it proceeded from the wantonness or negligence of the huntsman): my appearance might very well persuade you that your invitation was an act of charity, though in reality we were well provided; yes, Sir, if we เ 'had had an hundred miles to travel, we had sufficient to 'bear our expenses in a noble manner.' (At which words he produced the half-guinea which was found in the basket. I do not show you this out of ostentation of riches, but to convince you I speak truth. Your seating 'me at your table was an honour which I did not am'bitiously affect. When I was here, I endeavoured to 'behave towards you with the utmost respect; if I have 'failed, it was not with design; nor could I, certainly, be 'so far guilty as to deserve the insults I have suffered. 'If they were meant therefore either to my order or my 'poverty (and you see I am not very poor), the shame 'doth not lie at my door, and I heartily pray that the sin may be averted from yours.' He thus finished, and received a general clap from the whole company. Then the gentleman of the house told him, He was sorry for what had happened; that he could not accuse him of any share in it that the verses were, as himself had well observed, so bad that he might easily answer them; and for the serpent, it was undoubtedly a very great affront done him by the dancing-master, for which, if he well thrashed him, as he deserved, he should be very much pleased to see it, (in which probably he spoke truth). Adams answered, Whoever had done it, it was not his profession to punish him that way; but for the person 'whom he had accused, I am a witness,' says he, 'of his 'innocence; for I had my eye on him all the while. 'Whoever he was, God forgive him, and bestow on him a little more sense as well as humanity.' The captain answered with a surly look and accent, That he hoped he did not mean to reflect upon him; d—n him, he had as much imanity as another, and, if any man said he had not, he would convince him of his mistake by cutting his throat. Adams smiling, said, He believed he had spoke right by accident. To which the captain returned, 'What เ do you mean by my speaking right? If you was not a parson, I would not take these words; but your gown เ protects you. If any man who wears a sword had said 'so much, I had pulled him by the nose before this.' Adams replied, If he attempted any rudeness to his person, he would not find any protection for himself in his gown; and clenching his fist, declared he had thrashed many a stouter man. The gentleman did all he could to encourage this warlike disposition in Adams, and was in hopes to have produced a battle: but he was disappointed; for the captain made no other answer than, 'It is very well you are a parson:' and so drinking off a bumper to old mother Church, ended the dispute. Then the doctor, who had hitherto been silent, and who was the gravest but most mischievous dog of all, in a very pompous speech highly applauded what Adams had said, and as much discommended the behaviour to him. He proceeded to encomiums on the church and poverty; and lastly recommended forgiveness of what had passed to Adams; who immediately answered That everything was forgiven; and in the warmth of his goodness he filled a bumper of strong beer (a liquor he preferred to wine), and drank a health to the whole company, shaking the captain and the poet heartily by the hand, and addressing himself with great respect to the doctor; who, indeed, had not laughed outwardly at anything that passed, as he had a perfect command of his muscles, and could laugh inwardly without betraying the least symptoms in his The doctor now began a second formal speech, in which he declaimed against all levity of conversation, and what is usually called mirth. He said There were amusements fitted for persons of all ages and degrees, from the rattle to the discussing a point of phiเ losophy; and that men discovered themselves in nothing เ more than in the choice of their amusements: for,' says countenance. เ เ เ he, 'as it must greatly raise our expectation of the future 'conduct in life of boys whom in their tender years we perceive, instead of taw or balls, or other childish plaything, to choose, at their leisure hours, to exercise their genius in contentions of wit, learning, and such like; so must it inspire one with equal contempt of a man, if we 'should discover him playing at taw, or other childish play.' Adams highly commended the doctor's opinion, ' and said, He had often wondered at some passages in ancient authors, where Scipio, Lælius, and other great men, were represented to have passed many hours in amusements of the most trifling kind. The doctor replied, He had by him an old Greek manuscript where a favourite diversion of Socrates was recorded.-' Ay!' says the parson eagerly: 'I should be most infinitely obliged to you for the favour of perusing it.' The doctor promised to send it him, and farther said, that he believed he could describe it. I think,' says he, as near as I can remember, it was this: there was a throne erected, on one side of which sat a king, and on the 'other a queen, with their guards and attendants ranged 6 on both sides; to them was introduced an ambassador, 'which part Socrates always used to perform himself; and when he was led up to the footsteps of 'the throne, he addressed himself to the monarchs in some grave speech; full of virtue, and goodness, and morality, and such like. After which, he was seated 'between the king and queen, and royally entertained. 'This I think was the chief part. Perhaps I may have forgot some particulars; for it is long since I read it.' Adams said, it was indeed a diversion worthy the relaxation of so great a man; and thought something resembling it should be instituted among our great men, instead of cards and other idle pastime, in which, he was informed, they trifled away too much of their lives, He เ เ เ เ added, the Christian religion was a nobler subject for these speeches than any Socrates could have invented. The gentleman of the house approved what Mr. Adams said, and declared, he resolved to perform the ceremony this very evening. To which the doctor objected, as no one was prepared with a speech, 'unless,' said he (turning to Adams with a gravity of countenance which would have deceived a more knowing man), 'you have a sermon ' about you, doctor.'-'Sir,' says Adams, 'I never travel 'without one, for fear of what may happen.'-He was easily prevailed on by his worthy friend, as he now called the doctor, to undertake the part of the ambassador; so that the gentleman sent immediate orders to have the throne erected; which was performed before they had drank two bottles: and perhaps the reader will hereafter have no great reason to admire the nimbleness of the servants. Indeed, to confess the truth, the throne was no more than this; there was a great tub of water provided, on each side of which were placed two stools raised higher than the surface of the tub, and over the whole was laid a blanket; on these stools were placed the king and queen, namely, the master of the house and the captain. And now the ambassador was introduced between the poet and the doctor; who, having read his sermon, to the great entertainment of all present, was led up to his place, and seated between their majesties. They immediately rose up, when the blanket, wanting its supports at either end, gave way, and soused Adams over head and ears in the water. The captain made his escape, but, unluckily, the gentleman himself not being as nimble as he ought, Adams caught hold of him before he descended from his throne, and pulled him in with him, to the entire secret satisfaction of all the company. Adams, after ducking the squire twice or thrice, leaped out of the tub, and looked sharp for the doctor, whom he |