เ parish; and then undoubtedly he ought not to be pub'lished here; for Mr. Adams hath told me your ladyship's pleasure, and the reason, which is a very good one, to prevent burdening us with the poor; we have too many already, and I think we ought to have an act to hang or transport half of them. If we can prove in evidence that he is not settled in fact, it is another matter. What 'I said to Mr. Adams was on a supposition that he was เ settled in fact; and indeed, if that was the case, I should 'doubt'-'Don't tell me your facts and your ifs,' said the lady, 'I don't understand your gibberish; you take 'too much upon you, and are very impertinent, in pretending to direct in this parish; and you shall be taught 'better, I assure you you shall. But as to the wench, I เ am resolved she shall not settle here; I will not suffer 'such beauties as these to produce children for us to 'keep.'-' Beauties, indeed! your ladyship is pleased to be merry,' answered Scout.-' Mr. Adams described her 'so to me,' said the lady. 'Pray what sort of dowdy is 'it, Mr. Scout?'-'The ugliest creature almost I ever 'beheld; a poor dirty drab; your ladyship never saw 'such a wretch.'-'Well, but dear Mr. Scout, let her be 'what she will, these ugly women will bring children, you know; so that we must prevent the marriage.' 'True, Madam,' replied Scout, for the subsequent marriage, co-operating with the law, will carry law into 'fact. When a man is married he is settled in fact, and 'then he is not removable. I will see Mr. Adams, and I 'make no doubt of prevailing with him. His only objec'tion is, doubtless, that he shall lose his fee; but that being once made easy, as it shall be, I am confident no 'farther objection will remain. No, no, it is impossible; 'but your ladyship can't discommend his unwillingness 'to depart from his fee. Every man ought to have a 'proper value for his fee. As to the matter in question, เ เ เ เ เ เ ' if your ladyship pleases to employ me in it, I will venเ ture to promise you success. The laws of this land are 'not so vulgar, to permit a mean fellow to contend with ' one of your ladyship's fortune. We have one sure card, 'which is, to carry him before justice Frolick, who, upon hearing your ladyship's name, will commit him without any farther questions. As for the dirty slut, we shall have nothing to do with her; for, if we get rid of the 'fellow, the ugly jade will-'-'Take what measures you 'please, good Mr. Scout,' answered the lady: 'but I wish you could rid the parish of both; for Slipslop tells me 'such stories of this wench, that I abhor the thoughts of 'her; and though you say she is such an ugly slut, yet you know, dear Mr. Scout, these forward creatures, who run after men, will always find some as forward as themเ selves; so that, to prevent the increase of beggars, we เ must get rid of her.'-' Your ladyship is very much in 'the right,' answered Scout; but I am afraid the law is a little deficient in giving us any such power of pre'vention; however, the justice will stretch it as far as he 'is able, to oblige your ladyship. To say truth, it is a เ great blessing to the country that he is in the commis'sion; for he hath taken several poor off our hands that 'the law would never lay hold on. I know some justices 'who think as much of committing a man to Bridewell, เ as his lordship at 'size would of hanging him; but it 'would do a man good to see his worship, our justice, 'commit a fellow to Bridewell, he takes so much pleasure in it; and when once we ha'um there, we seldom hear any more o'um. He's either starved or eat up by ver'min in a month's time.'-Here the arrival of a visitor put an end to the conversation, and Mr. Scout, having undertaken the cause, and promised it success, departed. เ This Scout was one of those fellows who, without any knowledge of the law, or being bred to it, take upon them, in defiance of an act of parliament, to act as lawyers in the country, and are called so. They are the pests of society, and a scandal to a profession, to which indeed they do not belong, and which owes to such kind of rascallions the ill-will which weak persons bear towards it. With this fellow, to whom a little before she would not have condescended to have spoken, did a certain passion for Joseph, and the jealousy and the disdain of poor innocent Fanny, betray the Lady Booby into a familiar discourse, in which she inadvertently confirmed many hints, with which Slipslop, whose gallant he was, had pre-acquainted him; and whence he had taken an opportunity to assert those severe falsehoods of little Fanny, which possibly the reader might not have been well able to account for, if we had not thought proper to give him this information. CHAPTER IV. A short chapter, but very full of matter; particularly the arrival of Mr. Booby and his lady. ALL that night, and the next day, the Lady Booby passed with the utmost anxiety; her mind was distracted, and her soul tossed up and down by many turbulent and opposite passions. She loved, hated, pitied, scorned, admired, despised the same person by fits, which changed in a very short interval. On Tuesday morning, which happened to be a holiday, she went to church, where, to her surprise, Mr. Adams published the banns again with as audible a voice as before. It was lucky for her, that, as there was no sermon, she had an immediate opportunity of returning home to vent her rage, which she could not เ have concealed from the congregation five minutes; indeed, it was not then very numerous, the assembly consisting of no more than Adams, his clerk, his wife, the lady, and one of her servants. At her return she met Slipslop, who accosted her in these words:-'O Meam, 'what doth your ladyship think? To be sure, Lawyer 'Scout hath carried Joseph and Fanny both before the 'justice. All the parish are in tears, and say they will certainly be hanged; for nobody knows what it is for. -'I suppose they deserve it,' says the lady. Why dost 'thou mention such wretches to me ?'-'O dear Madam!' answered Slipslop, 'is it not a pity such a graceless young 'man should die a virulent death? I hope the judge will 'take commensuration on his youth. As for Fanny, I 'don't think it signifies much what becomes of her; and if poor Joseph hath done any thing, I could venture เ to swear she traduced him to it: few men ever come to 'fragrant punishment, but by those nasty creatures, which are a scandal to our sect.' The lady was no more pleased at this news, after a moment's reflection, than Slipslop herself; for though she wished Fanny far enough, she did not desire the removal of Joseph, especially with her. She was puzzled how to act, or what to say on this occasion, when a coach and six drove into the court, and a servant acquainted her with the arrival of her nephew Booby and his lady. She ordered them to be conducted into a drawing-room, whither she presently repaired, having composed her countenance as well as she could and being a little satisfied that the wedding would by these means be at least interrupted, and that she should have an opportunity to execute any resolution she might take, for which she saw herself provided with an excellent instrument in Scout. เ The Lady Booby apprehended her servant had made a mistake, when he mentioned Mr. Booby's lady; for she had never heard of his marriage: but how great was her surprise, when, at her entering the room, her nephew presented his wife to her! saying, 'Madam, this is that 'charming Pamela, of whom I am convinced you have 'heard so much.' The lady received her with more civility than he expected; indeed with the utmost; for she was perfectly polite, nor had any vice inconsistent with goodbreeding. They passed some little time in ordinary discourse, when a servant came and whispered Mr. Booby, who presently told the ladies he must desert them a little on some business of consequence; and, as their discourse during his absence would afford little improvement or entertainment to the reader, we will leave them for a while to attend Mr. Booby. CHAPTER V. Containing justice business; curious precedents of depositions, and other matters necessary to be perused by all justices of the peace and their clerks. THE young squire and his lady were no sooner alighted from their coach than the servants began to inquire after Mr. Joseph, from whom they said their lady had not heard a word, to her great surprise, since he had left Lady Booby's. Upon this they were instantly informed of what had lately happened, with which they hastily acquainted their master, who took an immediate resolution to go himself, and endeavour to restore his Pamela her brother, before she even knew she had lost him. The justice before whom the criminals were carried, and who lived within a short mile of the lady's house, was luckily Mr. Booby's acquaintance, by his having an |