: i No, though he thought his accusation true. Let this be so, and doubt not but success By noting of the lady; I have mark'd Leon. Why seek'st thou then to cover with excuse Friar. Lady, what man is he you are accus'd of? Friar. There is some strange misprision in the princes. Bene. Two of them have the very bent of honour; And if their wisdoms be misled in this, The practice of it lives in John the bastard, Whose spirits toil in frame of villainies. Leon. I know not: If they speak but truth of her, These hands shall tear her; if they wrong her hoThe proudest of them shall well hear of it. [nour, Time hath not yet so dried this blood of mine, Nor age so eat up my invention, Nor fortune made such havoc of my means, Friar. Pause a while, And let my counsel sway you in this case. And publish it, that she is dead indeed: [this do? Leon. What shall become of this? What will Friar. Marry, this, well carried, shall on her bebalf Change slander to remorse; that is some good: Will fashion the event in better shape Bene. Signior Leonato, let the friar advise you: And though, you know, my inwardness and love Is very much unto the prince and Claudio, Yet, by mine honour, I will deal in this As secretly, and justly, as your soul Should with your body. Leon. Being that I flow in grief, The smallest twine may lead me. cure. Beat, Ah, how much might the man deserve of me, that would right her! Bene. Is there any way to show such friendship? Beat. A very even way, but no such friend. Bene. May a man do it? Beat. It is a man's office, but not yours. Bene. I do love nothing in the world so well as you; Is not that strange? Beat. As strange as the thing I know not: It were as possible for me to say, I loved nothing so well as you: but believe me not; and yet I lie not; I confess nothing, nor I deny nothing: -I am sorry for my cousin. Bene. By my sword, Beatrice, thou lovest me. Beat. Do not swear by it, and eat it. Bene. I will swear by it, that you love me; and I will make him eat it, that says, I love not you. Beat. Will you not eat your word? Bene. With no sauce that can be devised to it: I protest, I love thee. Beat. Why then, God forgive me! Bene. What offence, sweet Beatrice? Beat. You have staid me in a happy hour; I was about to protest I loved you. Bene. And do it with all thy heart. Beat. I love you with so much of my heart, that none is left to protest. Bene. Come, bid me do any thing for thee. Beat. Kill Claudio. Bene. Ha! not for the wide world. Beat. You kill me to deny it: Farewell. Beat. I am gone, though I am here;-There is no love in you:-Nay, I pray you, let me go. Bene. Beatrice, Beat. In faith, I will go. Bene. We'll be friends first. Than when she liv'd indeed :-then shall he mourn, and then, with public accusation, uncovered slan (If ever love had interest in his liver), And wish he had not so accused her; der, unmitigated rancour, -O God, that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the market-place. Bene. Hear me, Beatrice; Beat. Talk with a man out at a window?-a proBene. Nay, but, Beatrice;[per saying. Beat. Sweet Hero! - she is wronged, she is slanBene. Beat[dered, she is undone. Beat. Princes, and counties! Surely, a princely testimony, a goodly count-confect; a sweet gallant, surely! O, that I were a man for his sake! or that I had any friend would be a man for my sake! But manhood is melted into courtesies, valour into compliment, and men are only turned into tongue, and trim ones too: he is now as valiant as Hercules, that only tells a lie, and swears it:-I cannot be a man with wishing, therefore I will die a woman with grieving. [love thee. Bene. Tarry, good Beatrice: By this hand, I Beat. Use it for my love some other way than swearing by it. [hath wronged Hero? Bene. Think you in your soul the count Claudio Beat. Yea, as sure as I have a thought, or a soul. Bene. Enough, I am engaged, I will challenge him; I will kiss your hand, and so leave you: By this hand, Claudio shall render me a dear account: As you hear of me, so think of me. Go, comfort your cousin: I must say, she is dead; and so, farewell. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-A Prison. Enter DOGBERRY, VERGES, and Sexton, in gowns; Verg. Nay, that's certain; we have the exhibition to examine. Sexton. But which are the offenders that are to be examined? let them come before master constable. Dogb. Yea, marry, let them come before me.What is your name, friend? Bora. Borachio. Dogb. Pray write down-Borachio. - Yours, sirrah? [Conrade. Con. I am a gentleman, sir, and my name is Dogb. Write down-master gentleman Conrade. -Masters, do you serve God? Con. Bora. Yea, sir, we hope. Dogb. Write down-that they hope they serve God:-and write God first; for God defend but God should go before such villains!-Masters, it is proved already that you are little better than false knaves; and it will go near to be thought so shortly. How answer you for yourselves? Con. Marry, sir, we say we are none. Dogb. A marvellous witty fellow, I assure you; but I will go about with him. Come you hither, sirrah; a word in your ear, sir; I say to you, it is thought you are false knaves. Bora. Sir, I say to you, we are none. Dogb. Well, stand aside.-Fore God, they are both in a tale: Have you writ down-that they are none ? Sexton. Master constable, you go not the way to examine; you must call forth the watch, that are their accusers. Dogb. Yea, marry, that's the eftest way:-Let the watch come forth :-Masters, I charge you, in the prince's name, accuse these men. 1 Watch. This man said, sir, that Don John, the prince's brother, was a villain. Dogb. Write down-prince John a villain :Why this is flat perjury, to call a prince's brotherBora. Master constable, [villain. Dogb. Pray thee, fellow, peace; I do not like thy look, I promise thee. Sexton. What heard you him say else? 2 Watch. Marry, that he had received a thousand ducats of John Don, for accusing lady Hero wrongfully. Dogb. Flat burglary, as ever was committed. Dogb. God's my life! where's the sexton? let him write down-the prince's officer, coxcomb.Come, bind them: Thou naughty varlet! Con. Away! you are an ass, you are an ass. Dogb. Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost thou not suspect my years?-O that he were here to write me down-an ass! but, masters, remember, that I am an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass:-No, thou villain, thou art full of piety, as shall be proved upon thee by good witness. I am a wise fellow; and, which is more, an officer; and, which is more, a householder; and, which is more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any is in Messina; and one that knows the law, go to; and a rich fellow enough, go to; and a fellow that hath had losses; and one that hath two gowns, and every thing handsome about him:-Bring him away. O, that I had been writ down-an ass! [Exeunt. ACT V. SCENE I. Before Leonato's House. Ant. If you go on thus, you will kill yourself; Leon. I pray thee, cease thy counsel, Which falls into mine ears as profitless Measure his woe the length and breadth of mine, groan; Patch grief with proverbs; make misfortune drunk Ant. Therein do men from children nothing [blood; differ. Leon. I pray thee, peace; I will be flesh and My lord, my lord, I'll prove it on his body, if he dare; Claud. Away, I will not have to do with you. Leon. Canst thou so daff me? Thou hast kill'd my child; If thou kill'st me, boy, thou shalt kill a man. Ant. He shall kill two of us, and men indeed; But that's no matter; let him kill one first ;-. Win me and wear me,-let him answer me, Come, follow me, boy; come, boy, follow me: Sir boy, I'll whip you from your foining fence; Nay, as I am a gentleman, I will. Leon. Brother, [niece; Ant. Content yourself: God knows, I lov'd my And she is dead, slander'd to death by villains, That dare as well answer a man, indeed, As I dare take a serpent by the tongue: Boys, apes, braggarts, Jacks, milksops!Leon. Brother Antony, Ant. Hold you content; What, man! I know them, yea, And what they weigh, even to the utmost scruple: D. Pedro. See, see; here comes the man we went to seek. Claud. Now, signior! what news? Bene. Good day, my lord. D. Pedro. Welcome, signior: You are almost come to part almost a fray. Claud. We had like to have had our two noses snapped off with two old men without teeth. D. Pedro. Leonato and his brother: What think'st thou? Had we fought, I doubt, we should have been too young for them. Bene. In a false quarrel there is no true valour: I came to seek you both. Claud. We have been up and down to seek thee; for we are high proof melancholy, and would fain have it beaten away: Wilt thou use thy wit? Bene. It is in my scabbard; shall I draw it? D. Pedro. Dost thou wear thy wit by thy side? Claud. Never any did so, though very many have been beside their wit. I will bid thee draw, as we do the minstrels; draw, to pleasure us. D. Pedro. As I am an honest man, he looks pale:-Art thou sick, or angry? Claud. What! courage, man! What though care killed a cat, thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care. Bene. Sir, I shall meet your wit in the career, an you charge it against me:-I pray you, choose another subject. Claud. Nay, then give him another staff; this last was broke cross. D. Pedro. By this light, he changes more and more; I think, he be angry indeed. Claud. If he be, he knows how to turn his girdle. Bene. You are a villain;-I jest not:-I will make it good how you dare, with what you dare, and when you dare :-Do me right, or I will protest your cowardice. You have killed a sweet lady, and her death shall fall heavy on you: Let me hear from you. [good cheer. Claud. Well, I will meet you, so I may have Claud. I'faith, I thank him; he hath bid me to a calf's head and a capon, the which if I do not carve most curiously, say my knife's naught.-Shall I not find a woodcock too? Bene. Sir, your wit ambles well; it goes easily. D. Pedro. I'll tell thee how Beatrice praised thy wit the other day: I said, thou hadst a fine wit; True, says she, a fine little one: No, said I, a great wit; Right, says she, a great gross one: Nay, said I, a good wit; Just, said she, it hurts no body: Nay, said I, the gentleman is wise; Certain, said she, a wise gentleman: Nay, said 1, he hath the tongues; That, I believe, said she, for he swore a thing to me on Monday night, which he forswore on Tuesday morning; there's a double tongue; there's two tongues. Thus did she, an hour together, trans-shape thy particular virtues; yet, at last, she concluded with a sigh, thou wast the prosperest man in Italy. Claud. For the which she wept heartily, and said, she cared not. D. Pedro. Yea, that she did; but yet, for all that, an if she did not hate him deadly, she would love him dearly: the old man's daughter told us all. Cláud. All, all; and moreover, God saw him when he was hid in the garden. D. Pedro. But when shall we set the savage bull's horns on the sensible Benedick's head? Claud. Yea, and text underneath, Here dwells Benedick the married man? Bene. Fare you well, boy; you know my mind; I will leave you now to your gossip-like humour: you break jests as braggarts do their blades, which, God be thanked, hurt not. My lord, for your many courtesies I thank you: I must discontinue your company: your brother, the bastard, is fled from Messina: you have, among you, killed a sweet and innocent lady: For my lord Lack-beard, there, he and I shall meet; and till then, peace be with him. [Exit Benedick. D. Pedro. He is in earnest. Claud. In most profound earnest; and, I'll warrant you, for the love of Beatrice. D. Pedro. And hath challenged thee? Claud. Most sincerely. D. Pedro. What a pretty thing man is, when he goes in his doublet and hose, and leaves off his wit! Enter DOGBERRY, VERGES, and the Watch, with CONRADE and BORACHIO, Claud. He is then a giant to an ape: but then is an ape a doctor to such a man. D. Pedro. But, soft you, let be; pluck up, my heart, and be sad! Did he not say, my brother was fled? Dogb. Come, you, sir; if justice cannot tame you, she shall ne'er weigh more reasons in her balance: nay, an you be a cursing hypocrite once, you must be looked to. D. Pedro. How now, two of my brother's men bound! Borachio, one! Claud. Hearken after their offence, my lord! D. Pedro. Officers, what offence have these men done? Dogb. Marry, sir, they have committed false report; moreover, they have spoken untruths; secondarily, they are slanders; sixth and lastly, they have belied a lady; thirdly, they have verified unjust things, and, to conclude, they are lying knaves. D. Pedro. First, I ask thee what they have done; thirdly, I ask thee what's their offence; sixth and lastly, why they are committed; and, to conclude, what you lay to their charge ? Claud. Rightly reasoned, and in his own division; and, by my troth, there's one meaning well suited. D. Pedro. Whom have you oflended, masters, that you are thus bound to your answer? this learned constable is too cunning to be understood: What's your offence? Bora. Sweet prince, let me go no further to mine answer; do you hear me, and let this count kill me. I have deceived even your very eyes: what your wisdoms could not discover, these shallow fools have brought to light; who, in the night, overheard me confessing to this man, how Don John, your brother, incensed me to slander the lady Hero; how you were brought into the orchard, and saw me court Margaret in Hero's garments; how you disgraced her, when you should marry her: my villainy they have upon record; which I had rather seal with my death, than repeat over to my shame: the lady is dead upon mine and my master's false accusation; and, briefly, I desire nothing but the reward of a villain. D. Pedro. Runs not this speechlike iron through your blood? Claud. I have drunk poison, whiles he uttered it. D. Pedro. But did my brother set thee on to this? Bora. Yea, and paid me richly for the practice of it. D. Pedro. He is compos'd and fram'd of treaAnd fled he is upon this villainy. [chery:Claud. Sweet Hero! now thy image doth appear In the rare semblance, that I loved it first. Dogb. Come, bring away the plaintiffs; by this time our sexton hath reformed signior Leonato of the matter: And, masters, do not forget to specify, when time and place shall serve, that I am an ass. Verg. Here, here comes master signior Leonato, and the sexton too. Re-enter LEONATO and ANTONIO, with the Sexton. Bora. If you would know your wronger, look on me. Leon. Art thou the slave, that with thy breath Mine innocent child? [hast kill'd Bora. Yea, even I alone. Leon. No, not so, villain; thon bely'st thyself; Here stand a pair of honourable men, A third is fled, that had a hand in it:I thank you, princes, for my daughter's death; Record it with your high and worthy deeds; 'Twas bravely done, if you bethink you of it. Claud. I know not how to pray your patience, Yet I must speak: Choose your revenge yourself; Impose me to what penance your invention Can lay upon my sin: yet sinn'd I not, But in mistaking. D. Pedro. By my soul, nor I; And yet, to satisfy this good old man, Leon. I cannot bid you bid my daughter live, Hang her an epitaph upon her tomb, And sing it to her bones; sing it to-night :- Claud. O, noble sir, Your over kindness doth wring tears from me! I do embrace your offer; and dispose [ing; Leon. To-morrow then I will expect your comTo-night I take my leave.--This naughty man Shall face to face be brought to Margaret, Who, I believe, was pack'd in all this wrong, Hir'd to it by your brother. Bora. No, by my soul, she was not; Norknew not what she did, when she spoke to me; But always hath been just and virtuous, In any thing that I do know by her. Dogb. Moreover, sir, (which, indeed, is not under white and black,) this plaintiff here, the offender, did call me ass: I beseech you, let it be remembered in his punishment: And also, the watch heard them talk of one Deformed: they say, he wears a key in his ear, and a lock hanging byit; and borrows money in God's name; the which he hath used so long, and never paid, that now men grow hard-hearted, and will lend nothing for God's sake: Pray you, examine him upon that point. Leon. I thank thee for thy care and honest pains. Dogb. Your worship speaks like a most thankful and reverend youth; and I praise God for you. Leon. There's for thy pains. Dogb. God save the foundation! [I thank thee. Leon. Go, I discharge thee of thy prisoner, and Dogb. I leave an arrant knave with your worship; for the example of others. God keep your worship; I wish your worship well; God restore you to health; I humbly give you leave to depart; and if a merry meeting may be wished, God prohibit it.Come, neighbour. which, I beseech your worship, to correct yourself, ❘ good part to intermingle with them. But for which [Exeunt Dogberry, Verges, and Watch. Leon. Until to-morrow morning, lords, farewell. Ant. Farewell, my lords; we look for you toD. Pedro. We will not fail. Claud. [morrow. To-night I'll mourn with Hero. [Exeunt Don Pedro and Claudio. Leon. Bring you these fellows on; we'll talk with Margaret, How her acquaintance grew with this lewd fellow. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-Leonato's Garden. Enter BENEDICK and MARGARET, meeting. Bene. Pray thee, sweet mistress Margaret, deserve well at my hands, by helping me to the speech of Beatrice. [of my beauty? Marg. Will you then write me a sonnet in praise Bene. In so high a style, Margaret, that no man living shall come overit; for, in most comely truth, thou deservest it. The god of love, And knows me, and knows me, [Exit. (singing.) I mean, in singing; but in loving, Leander, the good swimmer, Troilus, the first employer of pandars, and a whole book full of these quondam carpet-mongers, whose names yet run smoothly in the even road of a blank verse, why, they were never so truly turned over and over as my poor self, in love: Marry, I cannot shew it in rhyme; I have tried; I can find out no rhyme to lady but baby, an innocent rhyme; for scorn, horn, a hard rhyme; for school, fool, a babbling rhyme; very ominous end of my good parts did you first suffer love for me? Bene. Suffer love; a good epithet! I do suffer love, indeed, for I love thee against my will. Beat. In spite of your heart, I think; alas! poor heart! If you spite it for my sake, I will spite it for yours; for I will never love that which my friend hates. Bene. Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably. Beat. It appears not in this confession; there's not one wise man among twenty that will praise himself. Bene. An old, an old instance, Beatrice, that lived in the time of good neighbours: if a man do not erect in this age his own tomb ere he dies, he shall live no longer in monument, than the bell rings, and the widow weeps. Beat. And how long is that, think you? Bene. Question?- Why, an hour in clamour, and a quarter in rheum: Therefore it is most expedient for the wise, (if Don Worm, his conscience, find no impediment to the contrary,) to be the trumpet of his own virtues, as I am to myself: So much for praising myself, (who, I myself will bear witness, is praise-worthy,) and now tell me, How doth your Beat. Very ill. Bene. And how do you? Beat. Very ill too. [cousin ? Bene. Serve God, love me, and mend: there will I leave you too, for here comes one in haste. Enter URSULA. Urs. Madam, you must come to your uncle; yonder's old coil at home: it is proved, my lady Hero hath been falsely accused, the prince and Claudio mightily abus'd: and Don John is the author of all, who is fled and gone: will you come presently? Beat. Will you go hear this news, signior? Bene. I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes; and, moreover, I will go with thee to thy uncle's. [Exeunt. SCENE III. The Inside of a Church. Enter Don PEDRO, CLAUDIO, and Attendants, with music and tapers. Claud. Is this the monument of Leonato? Done to death by slanderous tongues, ings: No, I was not born under a rhyming planet, Now, music, sound, and sing your solemn hymn. nor I cannot woo in festival terms. Enter BEATRICE. Sweet Beatrice, would'st thou come when I called thee? Beat. Yea, signior, and depart when you bid me. Bene. O, stay but till then! Beat. Then, is spoken; fare you well now :-and yet, ere I go, let me go with that I came for, which is, with knowing what hath passed between [kiss thee. you and Claudio. Bene. Only foul words; and thereupon I will Beat. Foul words is but foul wind, and foul wind is but foul breath, and foul breath is noisome; therefore I will depart unkissed. Bene. Thou hast frighted the word out of his right sense, so forcible is thy wit: But I must tell thee plainly, Claudio undergoes my challenge; and either I must shortly hear from him, or I will subscribe him a coward. And, I pray thee now, tell me, for which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in love with me? Beat. For them all together; which maintained so politic a state of evil, that they will not admit any |