Sleeping or waking? mad, or well-advis'd?
Known unto these, and to myself disguis'd?
I'll say as they say, and persever so,

And in this mist, at all adventures, go.

Dro. S. Master, shall I be porter at the gate? Adr. Ay; and let none enter, lest I break your

pate.

Luc. Come, come, Antipholus; we dine too late. [Exeunt.

ACT III.

SCENE I. — Before the House of ANTIPHOLUS.

Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, DROMIO of Ephesus, ANGELO, and BALTHAZAR.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.

YOOD Signior Angelo, you must excuse us all;

My wife is shrewish when I keep not hours.
Say that I linger'd with you at your shop,
To see the making of her carcanet,

And that to-morrow you will bring it home;
But here's a villain that would face me down
He met me on the mart, and that I beat him,
And charg'd him with a thousand marks in gold;
And that I did deny my wife and house.
Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this?
Dro. E. Say what you will, sir, but I know what

I know.

That you beat me at the mart, I have your hand to

If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave

were ink,

Your own hand-writing would tell you what I think. Ant. E. I think thou art an ass.

Dro. E.

Marry, so it doth appear, By the wrongs I suffer, and the blows I bear.

I should kick, being kick'd; and being at that pass, You would keep from my heels, and beware of an

ass.

Ant. E. Y' are sad, Signior Balthazar: pray God

our cheer

May answer my good-will, and your good welcome

here.

Bal. I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your welcome dear.

Ant. E. O, Signior Balthazar, either at flesh or

fish,

A table-full of welcome makes scarce one dainty dish. Bal. Good meat, sir, is common; that every churl

affords.

Ant. E. And welcome more common, for that's nothing but words.

Bal. Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast.

Ant. E. Ay, to a niggardly host, and more sparing

guest:

But though my cates be mean, take them in good

part;

Better cheer may you have, but not with better heart. But soft! my door is lock'd. Go bid them let us in. Dro. E. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian,

Gin'!

Dro. S. [Within.] Mome, malt-horse, capon, cox

comb, idiot, patch!

Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the hatch.

Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st for

such store,

When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the door.

Dro. E. What patch is made our porter? - My

master stays in the street.

Dro. S. Let him walk from whence he came, lest he catch cold on 's feet.

Ant. E.

door.

Who talks within there? hoa! open the

Dro. S. Right, sir: I'll tell you when, an you'll tell me wherefore.

Ant. E.

Wherefore? for my dinner: I have not

din'd to-day.

Dro. S. Nor to-day here you must not, come again

when you may.

Ant. E. What art thou, that keep'st me out from the house I owe?

Dro. S. The porter for this time, sir; and my name is Dromio.

Dro. E. O villain! thou hast stolen both mine

office and my name:

The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle blame.

If thou hadst been Dromio to-day in my place, Thou would'st have chang'd thy face for a name, or thy name for a face.

Luce. [Within.] What a coil is there, Dromio: who are those at the gate?

Dro. E. Let my master in, Luce.

Luce.

Faith, no; he comes too late;

O Lord! I must laugh:

And so tell your master.

Dro. E.

Have at you with a proverb. - Shall I set in my

staff?

Luce. Have at you with another: that's when? can you tell?

Dro. S. If thy name be called Luce, Luce, thou hast answer'd him well.

Ant. E. Do you hear, you minion? you'll let us in, I hope?

Dro. E.

So; come, help! well struck; there was

blow for blow.

Ant. E. Thou baggage, let me in.

Luce.

Can you tell for whose sake?

Let him knock till it ache.

Dro. E. Master, knock the door hard.

Luce. Ant. E. You'll cry for this, minion, if I beat the door down.

Luce. What needs all that, and a pair of stocks in the town?

Adr. [Within.] Who is that at the door, that keeps all this noise?

Dro. S. By my troth, your town is troubled with unruly boys.

Ant. E. Are you there, wife? you might have come before.

Adr. Your wife, sir knave? go, get you from the door.

Dro. E. If you went in pain, master, this knave would go sore.

Ang. Here is neither cheer, sir, nor welcome : we would fain have either.

Bal. In debating which was best, we shall part with neither.

Dro. E. They stand at the door, master: bid them welcome hither.

Ant. E. There is something in the wind, that we

cannot get in.

Dro. E. You would say so, master, if your gar

ments were thin.

Your cake here is warm within; you stand here in the cold:

It would make a man mad as a buck to be so bought and sold.

Ant. E. Go, fetch me something: I'll break ope

the gate.

Dro. S. Break any breaking here, and I'll break your knave's pate.

Dro. E. A man may break a word with you, sir,

and words are but wind;

Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not behind.

Dro. S. It seems, thou want'st breaking. Out upon thee, hind!

Dro. E. Here's too much out upon thee! I pray thee, let me in.

Dro. S. Ay, when fowls have no feathers, and fish have no fin.

Ant. E. Well, I'll break in. Go, borrow me a crow. Dro. E. A crow without feather? master, mean you so?

For a fish without a fin, there's a fowl without a

feather.

If a crow help us in, sirrah, we'll pluck a crow together.

Ant. E. Go, get thee gone : fetch me an iron crow. Bal. Have patience, sir; O! let it not be so:

Herein you war against your reputation,

And draw within the compass of suspect

Th' unviolated honour of your wife.

Once this, Your long experience of her wisdom,