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prudence and frugality, govern his house with economy and discretion, and be an ornament to himself and family? Where shall we find the man who looks out for one who places her chief happiness in the practice of virtue, and makes her duty her continual pleasure? No; men rather seek for money as the complement of all their desires; and regardless of what kind of wives they take, they think riches will be a minister to all kind of pleasures, and enable them to keep mistresses, horses, hounds, to drink, feast and game with their companions, pay their debts contracted by former extravagancies, or some such vile and unworthy end: and indulge themselves in pleasures which are a shame and scandal to human nature. Nowas for the women; how few of them are there who place the happiness of their marriage in the having a wise and virtuous friend: one who will be faithful and just to all, and constant and loving to them; who, with care and diligence, will look after and improve the estate, and without grudging, allow whatever is prudent and convenient? Rather, how few are there who do not place their happiness in outshining others in pomp and show; and that do not think within themselves, when they have married such a rich person, that none of their acquaintance shall appear so fine in their equipage, so adorned in their persons, or so magnificent in their furniture as themselves? Thus their heads are filled with vain ideas; and I heartily wish I could say, that equipage and show were not the chief good of so many women as I fear it is.
• After this manner do both sexes deceive themselves, and bring reflections and disgrace upon
the most happy and most honourable state of life, whereas, if they would but correct their depraved taste, moderate their ambition, and place their happiness upon proper objects, we should not find felicity in the marriage state such a wonder in the world as it now is.
“Sir, if you think these thoughts worth inserting among your own, be pleased to give them a better dress, and let them pass abroad; and you will oblige your admirer,
A. B. MR. SPECTATOR,,
• As I was this day walking in the street, there happened to pass by on the other side of the way a beauty, whose charms were so attracting that it drew my eyes wholly on that side, insomuch that I neglected my own way, and chanced to run my nose directly against a post;
which the lady no sooner perceived, but she fell into a fit of laughter, though at the same time she was sensible that she herself was the cause of my
misfortune, which in my opinion was the greater aggravation of her crime. I being busy wiping off the blood which trickled down my face, had not time to acquaint her with her barbarity, as also with my resolution, viz. never to look out of my way for one of her sex more; therefore that
your humble servant may be revenged, he desires you to insert this in one of your next papers, which he hopes will be a warning to all the rest of the women-gazers, as well as to poor
ANTHONY GAPE.' MR. SPECTATOR,
• 1 desire to know in your next, if the merry game of “The parson has lost his cloak,” is not
mightily in vogue amongst the fine ladies this Christmas; because I see they wear hoods of all colours, which I suppose is for that purpose: if it is, and you think it proper, I will carry some of those hoods with me to our ladies in Yorkshire; because they enjoined me to bring them something from London that was very new, can tell any thing in which I can obey their commands more agreeably, be pleased to inform me, and you will extremely oblige
Your humble servant.' MR. SPECTATOR,
Oxford, Dec. 29. • Since you appear inclined to be a friend to the distressed, I beg you would assist me in an affair under which I have suffered very much. The reigning toast of this place is Patetia; I have pursued her with the utmost diligence this twelvemonth, and find nothing stands in my way but one who flatters her more than I can. Pride is her favourite passion; therefore if you would be so far my friend as to make a favourable mention of me in one of your papers, I believe I should not fail in my addresses. The scholars stand in rows as they did to be sure in your time, at her pew-door; and she has all the devotion paid to her by a crowd of youths who are unacquainted with the sex, and have inexperience added to their passion. However, if it succeeds according to my yows, you will make me the happiest man in the world, and the most obliged amongst all
• Your humble servants.' "MR. SPECTATOR,
I came to my mistress's toilet this morning, for I am admitted when her face is stark naked:
she frowned, and cried pish, when I said a thing that I stole; and I will be judged by you whether it was not very pretty. Madam (said'1,) you shall forbear that part of your dress; it may be well in others, but you can not place a patch where it does not hide a beauty.'
END OF VOL. V.