astonished Topthorne, now more than half asleep, confronts him then and there on his presidential throne, and pours upon his devoted head the pent-up torrent of her wrath—

"Gentlemen, indeed! and call yourselves gentlemen, who are ignorant to behave as such! which has never before taken place in the Green Dragon and Commercial PostingHouse-for a brute hanimal to be taken like a Christian out of his warm bed—and you, Mr. Topthorne, the father of a family, as ought to be a respectable man, and a magistrate likewise to sit there and stare at a lone woman like a block of wood, and never to say good or bad, which is unbecoming your station and all your stations; for to decent mirth I never have, and never will object, which is what we all lives by; but to be bringing your racehorses and your quadrupeds up two pair of stairs, into a respectable woman's principal dining-room, thirty feet long, with a bay-window and mahogany dining-tables, and the filth and the mess of it, is what I will not abide if there's justice to be had for rich or poor!"

And here an opportune flood of tears, and an attack of what medical gentlemen term "hysteria -a formidable malady when seizing a stout elderly lady, of some sixteen stone, and enhanced in its awful symptoms by a festive costume, such as that borne by the interesting sufferer-put a stop to the volubility of her abuse: and entrusting her to the care of the veterinary surgeon, as the most eligible substitute for a regular practitioner, we proceeded with the business in hand, which the unfortunate landlady, notwithstanding all her protestations, was compelled to witness. The steed was mounted, the room cleared, and the word given. Segundo sat as still as a statue upon the docile animal; and Shamrock, trotting up to the unusual fence, cleared it like a deer, then stood quietly in the middle of the room, snorting as though to express his surprise at the vagaries of us bipeds, and pawing the unyielding floor, as much as to inquire if we had any more orders ere he might go quietly back to bed.

The landlady had in the mean time been somewhat mollified by the attentions of so many gentlemen, all eager to deprecate her indignation; and as, like most of her sex, who, to use her own words, "cotton to be led, but can't abear to be driven," she was a regular trump if you only knew how to manage her the right way, she quickly forgot her previous ire, in her unqualified admiration of the dangerous feat; and walking up to Shamrock's head, patted his smooth satin neck, amidst rounds of uproarious applause. We drank her health then and there; and the whole thing must have gone off in the most triumphant manner, had not this last bumper, in addition to the many which I had already quaffed, prompted me to undertake in my own person the most dangerous part of the performance, which was to ride the horse down-stairs again on his way to his own apartments, and which portion of the equestrian feat, as it was not comprehended in the bets pending thereon, Segundo had positively declined to perform. Here, I thought, was an opportunity of out-Heroding Herod, and distancing even him who had instructed me in all such deeds of daring. Accordingly, much to the amusement of the drunken throng, and the re-awakened horror of the landlady, I mounted the impatient Shamrock on his homeward journey, and accompanied by the good wishes of Topthorne, who was unable to leave his chair, and guided by the two most drunken gentlemen of the party, bearing each a silver candelabrum, with its load of wax-lights swaying to and fro in their unsteady hands, I reached the top of the staircase without injury, and commenced my perilous descent. A cat on the ice, who has been shod by the mischief of the rising generation with a complete set of inverted walnut-shells, is about as vivid an emblem of alarm and insecurity as can well be exhibited; but I doubt if the action of Grimalkin herself, under these uncomfortable circumstances, is more uncertain than was that of the cautious Shamrock in his precarious journey.

The first landing-place we reached triumphantly; and we

were now directly opposite the bar-window, which opened on the stairs, and through which, the sash being up, a very pretty attendant, with corkscrew ringlets, was watching the performances. Ambitious of distinguishing myself in the eyes of this Hebe, and demonstrating the thorough understanding which, under all circumstances, exists between the good horseman and his steed, I ventured most incautiously to hurry the careful pace at which Shamrock was SO sagaciously toiling down-stairs. A hind foot slipped; a loud snort announced that the horse was thoroughly terrified; he lost his footing and his presence of mind at one and the same time; with a wild plunge forward he knocked down the leading torch-bearer, and we were enveloped in comparative darkness. I heard a scream of terror, and the crashing of wood-work-probably the banisters, as I found myself describing a "parabola" over my horse's head into the obscure; and although my fall was broken by its fair denizen and the whole interior furniture and economy of that snuggery which is denominated the bar, I was carried to bed sufficiently confused to be utterly unconscious of the devastation which accompanied my downfall.

The bill which I had next morning to pay gives me a vivid idea of the general smash created by my unexpected visit into this portion of the premises watched over by the Green Dragon. A gentleman flying head-foremost through an open window into the arms of a pretty barmaid, and with her bringing to the ground a half-dozen of sherry, a case of liqueur-bottles, a set of tea-things, a large fire-screen, a cold apple-tart, and several jars of hot pickles, is lucky if he escape as I did, with a contused shoulder, a pair of black eyes (not quite such pretty ones as the barmaid's), and a swinging long bill to liquidate for this unceremonious method of being "called to the bar."

CHAPTER XVIII.

Give me mine angle. We'll to the river. There,
My music playing far off, I will betray

Tawny-finned fishes: my bended hook shall pierce
Their slimy jaws and as I draw them up,

I'll think them every one an Antony,

And say, Ah, ah! you're caught.

Antony and Cleopatra.

LET it not be supposed by the reader, to whom I have so openly confessed my many follies and vagaries, that my whole life, as a quiet invalid, on a visit to a country clergyman for the restoration of his health, was nothing but a series of such morning adventures and midnight freaks as those I have recorded in connection with my début as a "gentleman rider." Other and more contemplative pursuits served to fill up my leisure hours; and whilst Bagshot was engaged with his clerical duties, which no temptation could ever induce him to neglect, I had abundant opportunities for the restoration of my health and improvement of my intellect in his grounds and library. A book in the open air, whether it be a Dissertation on the Specific Gravity of Fluids, or the last number of Punch, is infinitely more agreeable than the same volume perused in an arm-chair ; and many a delicious hour did I enjoy, reclining at my ease in Joe's delightful garden, basking in the sunshine, or dozing in the shade, inhaling the fragrance of his roses, fanned by the breeze that stole over his new-mown hay (a second crop, of which the owner was justly proud), and lulled by the hum of what Dr. Watts piously denominates the "busy bee," but with whom I never can help sympathizing as a thorough idler like myself. All this, with

the page of instruction spread open on my knee-too often disregarded, in my intense enjoyment of the surrounding atmosphere-made a paradise of indolence, to which the addition of a "real foreign cigar" left nothing to be desired -not even the "black eyes" which, according to Tommy Moore, in conjunction with "lemonade," constitute the Persian's idea of a future heaven. Nor were these orbs, albeit of languishing blue instead of sparkling black, very far distant from the bower I so constantly frequented. From the parsonage to Topthorne Lodge was but three miles as the crow flies; and at Topthorne Lodge, need I say, Mrs. Montague Forbes was staying with her bachelor brother, on a prolonged visit? Between the two houses, and within easy reach of either, lay a broad and picturesque sheet of water, called Cowslip Mere, beneath the sedgy banks of which the gigantic pike loved to doze away the dreamy hours of noon, whilst the lake's unruffled surface bore punt and pleasure-boat noiselessly above his haunts. Here did I acquire my only knowledge of the Waltonian science; and here, under the tuition of mine accomplished host, did I progress rapidly in the contemplative art of trolling. But was the shark in miniature-the scaly monster of the hideous jaw-the only attraction that lured me to these golden waters? Was it a pure admiration for Nature, or an unalloyed love of sport, that led me to inclose my person in duck continuations, turned-down collars, a straw hat, and a tailless jacket—a costume which it is advisable for gentlemen to abandon when turned of thirty-or had I truly "other fish to fry?" Was there another bait, to which I was the unsuspecting gudgeon? Even so. Antony-"broad-fronted Antony "-despised not to dress the hooks of his "serpent of old Nile;" the "first gentleman in England" had his Virginia Water, nor are we to suppose that he was destitute of some fair minister to carry his landing net; the "monks of old" were anglers to a man, as the site of every ruined abbey and monastery vouches for, with its neighbour, the trout-stream-and, although inveterate bachelors, they were