or unfortunate mishap fall into another, the consequences of which would certainly attend me through life, and probably blast my future hopes of success in the article of marriage, with the lady who in the course of my present embarassment, tho' by no means of the least consideration among her sex, I never had the most distant idea of forming a connexion, and am heartily sorry that I should ever have given occasion for her to look upon me in any other light than that of an intimate acquaintance. No explanation has ever yet taken place between us, but I can evidently perceive from all her words and actions, and from the regards and conversations of her friends and acquaintances, that I am considered in no other light than that of one who shortly intends to make an open avowal of his passion. In this situation, I am under the necessity of continuing my visits, without that pleasure which I should otherwise derive from them, and without having it in my power to discontinue them without wholly breaking off all communication for the future.

As your paper has an extensive circulation, and is universally read by the male as well as female part of the town, who are conversant in matters of etiquette, I take the lib. esty to request their advice in so

important a particular. August 22d, 1810.

Eloquence.

T. F.

The foundation of all that can be

called Eloquence is good sense and solid

For the Lady's Miscellany.

....

Fo Patty Miff and all other Females of the same cast, that the shoe fits.

WHAT this world is coming to no mortal here below can tell. Widows, old maids and young Misses all advertising. for husbands. Poor things how you must long to enjoy the society of the men, to come for. ward in so public a manner and beg of them for charity's sweet sake to become your husbands-your dear loving doating obedient husbandsMethinks I hear you exclaim, (in the strains of an old maid of 36)

Come gentle, come simple,
Come foolish and come witty,
O don't let me die a maid,
Tuke me out of pity.

It is somewhat surprising to: me, that none of you do not complain of the bitter restraint you are subject to, in not being allowed to visit the young. men, for alas! now you have to stay at home, and wait 'till some youth in the overflowing goodness of his heart, takes. compassion upon the dear crea-. tures, and calls to pay you a

visit.

I mean not this for you, ye

thought.

Blair,

fair virtuous and accomplished females, whose good sense, engaging manners and amiable endowments, entitle you to respect and admiration, whose society every young man of taste eagerly seeks after-but for you Patty Miff and others, who like discontented spirits are continually unhappy, and are fidgeting about like many frogs after a thunder shower, who depend not upon. your virtuous accomplishments to gain the esteem of man, but upon that filthy stuff called Riches; why my lady Miff, (for I suppose you must be called a lady, as that name is generally applied indiscriminately to good, bad and indifferent) I would sooner seek a wife the Lord knows where, and marry the lord knows who, than one with purse proud arrogance who endeavours to puff herself into notice, through the medium of a paper-can do nothing but ride in her carriage, eat pound cake, and drink wine. O! dear, this will not do for me, and I sincerely hope that no young gentleman whose head contains

the least particle of brains, will be fool enough to take for his wife Patty Miff, for if he does I think he will repent of it before the lapse of many moons.

And I have to beg of you, if by chance this epistle should ever come to your knowledge, that you will not hurt yourself with crying or pouting, and at all events not to go into fits in consequence thereof.

With great hopes that you will never get a husband, I am most disrespectfully,

not-yours

Will Wizzard.

For the Lady's Miscellany.

Messrs. EDITORS.

THE following was handed to me last week by my intimate friend PADDY WHACK, for insertion in I neglected to send it to you. Have your Miscellany, but in good truth, the goodness to give it a place this week, and you may save poor Patty the trouble of withdrawing to her chamber, to cry, sob, pout, and perhaps get into fits.

From my "Head-Quarters.".
Frank-forte, 1st Sept.

Mr. Printers,

you.

change, that will pass current in any country; and as for the horses, noble creatures! they will serve us to take the air.

or small, slender or pussy, roundshouldered or hump-backed, one leg or two, well formed or deformed, is no great consideration. The eyes may be black or blue, hazle or

wedlock.

A situation, my jewel, that none but old maids and old bachelors are afraid to get in. But as for myself, and I must be allowed to brag a little on the strength of it, who has only about three months since buried his seventh wife, I am not to be called Flince by the fairest she in christendom.

You are now going to talk of your person, your charms, and what you once were, and faith you would be after telling me what you now are, but let a son of Hibernia, who has traversed the globe, and seen beauty in all its formity and deformity, give his opinion of it, and let me tell you I am a judge: but PAT MURPHY, who is my intimate friend, a first rate ghost, and a great lover of women, can describe it better than me, so you shall have his own story for it.

green, white or grey, and one may be missing, if the other but sparkle, and spak sic things,' when they meet with a neat tight fellow like myself. The nose long or short, pug or sharp, curved or acquiline, flat or thick, make no difference. The mouth, whether it be wide or small, concave or prominent, on one side or the other, if it is only capable of expression, will answer.. The lips, whether thick or thin, soft or rough, pale or purple, red pouting, or otherwise, if they can only be contracted to echo the melting harmony of a kiss, is the soul's delight of Pat Murphy. The tongue, long or short, thick or thin, rough or smooth, if it can but lisp love, cannot be withstood. The teeth, black or white, or whether there be any at all at all matters not. The chin, long or short, peeked or hooked, hollowed or plain, is of no consequence. The cheeks, plump or hollow, red or pale, wrinkled or

dimpled, is immaterial. But the chest, love's hovel, and the destroyer of hearts--Arrah, be asy now! whether it be plump or otherwise, if it but rise or fall, or jump up and down, will bother a heart of stone. But the but of all the buts, and that which is most bewitching to St. Paddy's own son, is his own dear sweet BIDDY O'DONNELLY, with her great big chest full of yellow boys, who is now snugly married to PAT MURPHY.'

Arrah, now be civil! Hasn't Pat given you a fair description of beauty, and don't you think you'll answer me to a shaving. As to your temper, be it ever so squally, your solid charms' will make up for it. So my honey, you may be after making preparations for slipping into the noose, and tasting the secrets of matrimony.' And let

the extreme desire I have to touch your gold dust, be a sufficient apology for the undertaking.

PADDY WHACK.

For the Lady's Miscellany.

TO HEZEKIAH.

FRIEND,

THOU sayest that for thirty long years and upwards, thou hast been in search of a Mate, yet none hast thou found. This, after weighing and considering on thy hasty determination, of entering into the holy

From Thomas's interesting History of Printing, just published.

Soon after the establishment of his paper, [Anno 1728] a person brought him a piece which he requested him to publish in the Pennsylvania Gazette, now the oldest newspaper in the United States. FRANKLIN desired that the piece might be left for his consideration until next day, when he would give an answer. The person returned at the time appointed, and received from FRANKLIN this communication.-"I have perused your piece, and find it to be scurrilous and defamatory. To de termine whether I should publish it or not, I went home in the evening, pur