diction. When I came back, I found on my arrival, a new servant occupied in my sitting room. She had been engaged, during my absence, to replace the elderly woman who used to wait on me at table, and to do whatever I might require. I was very much satisfied with her attendance, and sincerely regretted her discharge. On my asking why she had been dismissed, I was answered that she could not do all the work, and that a young, active girl was by far preferable.

"The new servant was young indeed, and possessed of some attractions, which I was foolish and imprudent enough not to resist; but for my attention to which I have since been severely punished. Let it suffice to say that I yielded to temptation. From that time, I can assert it, may be traced all my troubles and misfortunes. The girl, though young, was knowing enough to perceive that I was in her power more than she was in mine. She openly told me so more than once. In the mean time, she took great care to obtain from me as much money as she could. I then commenced to drink whisky mixed with water, first in small quantity and only at night, after my business was over. The libations became by degrees more frequent and copious, especially when she apprised me that she was with child, and consequently expected that I should marry her.

"I cannot describe to you, Monsieur le Docteur, the state into which that unpleasant news, expected as it might have been, threw my mind. I saw that my ruin was unavoidable, whatever plan I might adopt. If I do not marry her, said I, she will make a scandal, and I shall be obliged to leave the town. If, on the other hand, I marry her, I am sure to fall into discredit, and to lose most of my pupils.

"This happened at the latter end of March, 1850. Instead of returning to better sentiments, and praying to

God that he would inspire me with the means of averting the catastrophe, by sending the girl out of town, with a sufficient maintenance, until I should be able to atone for my fault in the only honest way, that is, in marrying her, but so as to keep our marriage secret, I became the more reckless of the time to come, went on drinking whisky, and hoped in chance, the providence of those who have none.

66

Despite my endeavours to drive remorse away, the thought of what I had done did not cease to pursue me. My nights were restless, or troubled with painful dreams; I could no longer indulge in reading or in walks, as before; my appetite, too, was lost. The tuitions to which I had fortunately to devote a considerable portion of the day, were alone able to afford me a little tranquillity, by temporarily removing the annoying idea from my mind.

"An incident which I little anticipated caused the girl to be removed from the house, and led me to hope that she would not object to leave the town, where her presence was a permanent danger for me. She, either on purpose (as she told me), or otherwise, got drunk, and received her immediate discharge. It was in May, two months before her quarter was over. In the precipita

tion of her dismissal, I found only time to direct her to go home, and to wait for me, on the next Sunday, at an appointed place, when I should see what best was to be done. The ladies of the house consented to accept, for the two remaining months, of the services of her sister, who was then out of employment. The girl had always assured me that no one had the slightest suspicion of her state. I was, therefore, not a little surprised and annoyed when I learned from the new comer that she had not made her pregnancy a secret with all her family.

"At our first interview, I expressed to the girl my

dissatisfaction at her imprudent disclosures, and, as the only remedy, my willingness to send her away to some distant place, until vacation, when it would be easy for me to take her to France, and to leave her with my family, whom I should inform of what had taken place, but without saying a word about her having been my servant. Had such a plan been put into execution, everything could still be repaired, or at least the impending danger was indefinitely removed There might be vague rumours about her absence, but nothing more. I should have left off drinking whisky, in consequence of my mind being more at ease, and attended to my daily occupations with a new courage. Such is, at least, what I then intended to do. Unfortunately, my proposal was drily rejected; she would not go away; she was afraid I should leave her; she wanted to live in town, &c.; or she would make everything known.

"I submitted in despair to her haughty wishes, and gave her money for lodgings. She hired a room in a retired part of the town, and came to live there, not alone, but with her mother and a niece, the two latter saddling themselves on my shoulders, as if one encumbrance were not sufficiently heavy. Demands of money succeeded each other with a fearful rapidity, so that I found myself quite unable, for want of cash, to take my usual trip to France.

"At that period of the year (July), the harbour of Derry received a number of French vessels, which gave me a daily opportunity of acting as interpreter between the merchants and the captains; but at the same time I neglected my private lessons, a fault which had never occurred before. Being a constant prey to sinister presentiments about the future, I used to drink wine and brandy on board, without, however, being ever sick (this fact I cannot account for); only, every morning when I

got up, there was a kind of tremulousness in my limbs. I could scarcely take up a glass to my mouth without spilling a part of its contents; my walk was unsteady, and my speech broken, more difficult than usual, unless I got animated. The mind seemed to preserve its soundness; I had several times to draw up reports, which scarcely took more time than that of writing them down.

"In this manner did I pass the month of July, be it said to my shame and deep regret. My visits to the girl were also frequent; it seemed as if an evil genius carried me there, though I well understood their danger and impropriety. I think that by that time I had lost a great deal of control over myself.

"In August, the re-opening took place at Foyle College and at three other schools which I used to attend. The Rev. Mr. Henderson sent for me. I was not at home. Fortunately, a gentleman who also kept a school, and who was greatly attached to me, came on board an Italian ship, where he found me. He most justly said that he could not understand my way of living for the last month. There must be something wrong. That if I did not resume business immediately, he was afraid I should lose my pupils in town. He had been told something very painful to him, about my now taking to drink; but he did not believe that. He then carried me to his house for dinner. There he informed me that it was reported in town I had married my servant. This I denied.

"My friend's lecture seemed to shake off my torpor for some time; I left off visiting vessels, to resume business.

"Notwithstanding what had been rumoured, every one received me well. New pupils came to me, so that I could number upwards of fifty of them. But if this increase was gratifying to me, there were repeated calls

on my purse which produced a very different effect. I continued to drink, and drank the more, on thinking of the fast-approaching time when there would be a living proof of my guilt.

"This took place in November; as a rigorous consequence, I lost my situation at college and in another school. I did not repine. I acknowledged within myself that I deserved it. My remaining pupils were still in sufficient number to afford me the means of a livelihood. In order to avoid any further scandal, I earnestly advised and prevailed on the girl to leave town. I rented for her a house in the country, about four miles from town. Had I thought that marriage would not have made things worse, I would certainly have married her, but out of all the persons to whom I spoke on the subject, Mr. Henderson alone gave me to understand that it was the only means of atonement from an honest It is true that when I asked him if my compliance with his advice would entitle me to a further attendance in his establishment, he answered that he could not employ me any longer, on account of the many respectable families whose children were at college, and who would object to the continuance of my tuition there.

man.

"Matters remained in this state until December 28th, when I went out to the country (as if led by my evil spirit). Hard drinking there for several days, joined to quarrels arising from constant demands of money, brought on me sickness and such exhaustion, that I could not leave my bed. From December 28th to January 13th, when I felt the real symptoms of the disease, I did not eat one ounce of bread daily. My only food was whisky, which I am sorry to say they were always ready to minister to me.

"Until the 12th, I continued extremely weak, but felt so tired of the bed, that I got up.