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dom dances, and is always walking, would it not be more rational to teach her to do that best which she is to do oftenest? She sings like a Syren, but 'tis only to strangers. I, who paid for it, never hear her voice. She is always warbling in a distant room, or in every room where there is company; but if I have the gout and want to be amused, she is as dumb as a dormouse.” “So much for the errors in educating our daughters,” said Sir John, “ now for the sons.” “As to our boys,” returned Mr. Flam, “don’t we educate them in one religion, and then expect them to practise another. Don’t we cram them with books of heathen philosophy, and then bid them go and be good christians ? Don't we teach them to admire the heroes and gods of the old poets, when there is hardly one hero, and certainly not one God, who would not in this country have been tried at the Old Bailey, if not executed at Tyburn ? And as to the goddesses, if they had been brought brought before us on the bench, brother Stanley, there is scarcely one of them but we should have ordered to the house of correction. The queen of them, indeed, I should have sent to the ducking stool for a scold. “Then again don't we tell our sons when men, that they must admire a monarchial government, after every pains have been taken when they were boys, to fill them with raptures for the ancient republics?” “Surely, Mr. Flam, said Sir John, “the ancient forms of government may be studied with advantage, were it only to shew us by contrast the superior excellence of our own.” “We might,” said Miss Sparkes, in a supercilious accent, “learn some things from them which we much want. You have been speaking of economy. These republicans, whom Mr. Flam is pleased to treat with so much contempt, he must allow, had some good, clever contrivances to keep down the taxes, which it would do us mo harm to imitate. Victories were much better bargains to them than they are to us. A few laurel-leaves or a sprig of oak was not quite so dear as a pension.” “But you will allow, Madam,” said Sir John, smiling, “that a triumph was a more expensive reward than a title f" Before she had time to answer, Mr. Flam said; “let me tell you, Miss Sparkes, that as to triumphs, our heroes are so used to them at sea, that they would laugh at them at home. Those who obtain triumphs as often as they meet their enemies, would despise such holiday play among their friends. We don’t to be sure reward them as your ancients did. We don’t banish them nor put them to death for saving their country like your Athenians. We don’t pay them with a trumpery wreath like your Romans. We English don’t put our conquerors off with leaves; we give them fruits, as cheerfully bestowed as they are fairly earned. God bless them I would reduce my table to one dish, my hall to one servant, my stable to one saddle horse, and


my kennel to one pointer, rather than abridge the preservers of Old England of a feather.” “Signal exploits, if nationally beneficial,” said Sir John, “deserve substantial remuneration; and I am inclined to think that public honours are valuable, not only as rewards but incitements. They are as politic as they are just. When Miltiades and his illustrious ten thousand gained their immortal victory, would not a Blenheim erected on the plains of Marathon, have stimulated unborn soldiers, more than the little transitory columns which barely recorded the names of the victors?” “What warrior,” said Mr. Carlton, “will hereafter visit the future Palace of Trafalgar without reverence P A reverence, the purity of which will be in no degree impaired by contemplating such an additional motive to emulation.” . In answer to some further observations of Miss Sparkes, on the superiority of the ancient to British patriotism, Mr. Flam, whose indignation, now provoked him to display

display his whole stock of erudition, eagerly exclaimed— “Do you call that patriotism in your favourite Athenians, to be so fond of raree-shows, as not only to devote the money of the state to the play-house, but to make it capital to divert a little of it to the wants of the gallant soldiers, who were fighting their battles I hate to hear these fellows called patriots, who preferred their diversions to their country.” r

Then erecting himself as if he felt the taller for being an Englishman, he added,—“What, Madam Sparkes, would your Greeks have said to a PATRIOTIc FUND by private contribution, of near half a million, in the midst of heavy taxes and a tedious war, voluntarily raised and cheerfully given to the orphans, widows, and mothers of their brave countrymen, who fell in their defence? Were the poor soldiers who fought under your Cimons, and your—, I forget their names, ever so kindly remenbered Make it out that they were—shew

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