CLXXX.

A SCENE FROM THE "FROGS" OF ARISTOPHANES,

ADAPTED TO THE PRESENT TIMES.

Lord MELBOURNE as Bacchus, at the oar in Charon's boat, on the Acherusian Lake.

Lord BROUGHAM as chief of the frogs.

Messrs. LEADER, WAKLEY, HUME, ROEBUCK, and Sir WILLIAM MOLESWORTH, as a chorus of frogs.

Lord Brougham.-Croak, croak, croak!
Chorus of Frogs.-Croak, croak, croak!
Full chorus.-Croak, croak, croak!

Lord Melbourne.-Croak, croak ! by the Gods I shall choke, (mimicking.) If you pester and bore my ears any more With your Croak, croak, croak!

Lord Brougham.-Rude companion and vain,

Thus to carp at our strain,

(To chorus.)—But keep in the vein,

And attack him again,

With a Croak, croak, croak!

Chorus.-Croak, croak, croak!

Lord Melbourne.-Croak, croak, vapour and smoke,
(mimicking.) Never think it, old Huff,
That I care for such stuff

As your Croak, croak, croak.
Chorus (fortissimo.)—Croak, croak, croak !

Lord Melbourne.-Now fire light on thee,
And waters soak;

And March winds catch thee

Without any cloak,

For within and without,

From the tail to the snout,

Thou'rt nothing but croak, croak, croak!

Lord Brougham. And what else, captious Premier, say, should I be?

But you know very little as yet about me.

(With dignity).—I'm the pantological Baron B.,

Of the famous university,

Known as the London Stinkomalee,

Where I think of creating a new degree
For the study of infidelity.

I am also, most unfortunately,
One of the aristocracy ;

But between us there's little of unity,
And I'm always in a minority.
My proper sphere is the House of C.,
Where for years I sat as Harry B.,
For the rotten Whig borough of Winchelsea.
I croak in the Edinburgh Quarterly;
Pamphlets I croak more frequently;
Leaders I croak occasionally,
And speeches I croak almost hourly.
Thus by croaking, croaking eternally,
I got a snug berth in Chancery,
And a thumping pension annually;
But by some of your damnable trickery,
You ejected me most effectually;

I shall therefore now croak in an altered key,
And argue all subjects differently

To what I did very recently;

I shall croak for a time at your Ministry,
With what success we shall quickly see,
And first "I hurl defiance at thee,"
For I hate a being who can " bow the knee
And gloze and fawn" more successfully
Than myself-the prince of knavery;
Besides, you have treated me shabbily,

And made me look ridiculously;

Therefore my cry shall not fail to be
Croak, croak, croak!
Chorus.-Croak, croak, croak!

Lord Melbourne.-I'm blister'd, I'm fluster'd, I'm sick, I'm ill. Chorus.-Croak, croak, croak!

Lord Melbourne.-My dear little bullfrogs, do prithee be still, 'Tis a sorry vocation that reiteration,

I speak on my honour, most musical nation,
Of Croak, croak, croak!

Lord Brougham.-Most musical nation! that's what I call

(Aside.)

blarnation,

I shall still raise my song
With my eloquent throng:
Then hey bubble, bubble,

For a knave's petty trouble.

Shall I my high charter and birth-right revoke?

Nay, my efforts I'll double,

And drive him, like stubble,

Before me, with

Full chorus.

Croak, croak, croak!

Lord Melbourne.-Nay, nay; take your own way,

I've said out my say,

And care nought, by my fai',

For your croak, croak, croak!

Lord Brougham.-Care or care not, 'tis the same thing to me,

My voice is my own, and my actions are free;

I have but one note, and I chant it with glee, And from morning to night that note it shall be, Croak, croak, croak!

Full Chorus.—

Lord Melbourne.-Nay, then, old rebel,

But I'll stop your treble,

With a poke, poke, poke!

Take this from my rudder (poking the frogs)
And that from my oar;

And now let us see if you'll trouble us more,
With your Croak, croak, croak!

Lord Brougham.-You may batter and bore,
You may thunder and roar,
Yet I'll never give o'er

Till I'm hard at death's door,

With my croak, croak croak!

Chorus.-Croak, croak, croak !

Full chorus.-Croak, croak, croak!

CLXXXI. LORD ELDON.

A barrister at Dublin, having cited a case 'decided' by Lord Eldon, the Irish Chancellor, Lord M. drily observed You will much oblige me, Mr- by citing any case decided by my Lord Eldon."

2. The Lord Chancellor Eldon, once went out shooting with Mr Peel, and missed a fair shot at some birds, when the young Secretary reproached the learned Lord with being so quick in his movements as not to have taken sufficient aim. Well, well, well,' said the witty Chancellor, 'friend Peel, my greatest enemies have not found the same fault with me for the last 30 years; but in reality I doubted whether the bird was not an old one.' 'Doubting as usual, my Lord' rejoined the Secretary. The rejoinder so irritated the Chancellor, that he missed every shot afterwards.

CLXXXII. DR HAWKER.

A sailor entered Stoke Church at Plymouth, when Dr John Hawker was preaching, and seeing the letters "J. H. S.” on the pulpit, asked if they stood for JOHN HAWKER OF STOKE. The sermon was long, and the same sailor, seeing the same initials in another church, made a precipitate retreat forthwith.

CLXXXIII. CHARLES II.

A worthless fellow, whilst King Charles was knighting him, hung down his head, as if out of countenance. "Do not be ashamed," said the king, "I have more reason to be so than you."

CLXXXIV. NED WARD.

Ned Ward, speaking of a law-suit which turned on a mistake between the words this and that, said that it looked like a family-quarrel, since it was a dispute between relatives.

CLXXXV. THE AMBASSADOR.

A prince one day told his ambassador that he was an owl: "I should be sorry to think so," said the courtier, “having so often represented your majesty."

CLXXXVI. LOGGERHEADS.

A countryman, seeing a single person at a desk in a lawyer's office, asked what they sold in that shop. "Loggerheads" said