't is the rich banker wins the fair,
the garter'd knight, or feather'd beau.
No more my panting heart shall beat,
nor Phyllis claim one parting groan?
her tears, her vows, are all a cheat,
for woman loves herself alone.

ADVICE TO THE LADIES.

Who now regards Chloris, her tears, and her whining, her sighs and fond wishes, and awkward repining? what a pother is here, with her amorous glances, soft fragments of Ovid, and scraps of romances! A nice prude at fifteen! and a romp in decay! cold December affects the sweet blossoms of May; to fawn in her dotage, and in her bloom spurn us, is to quench love's bright torch, and with touchwood

to burn us.

Believe me, dear maids, there's no way of evading; while ye pish, and cry nay, your roses are fading: though your passion survive, your beauty will dwindle, and our languishing embers can never rekindle. When bright in your zeniths, we prostrate before ye, when ye set in a cloud, what fool will adore ye? then, ye fair, be advis'd and snatch the kind blessing, and show your good conduct by timely possessing.

THE OYSTER.

t

"In jus

acres procurrunt, magnum spectaculum uterque." Hor. Two comrades, as grave authors say, (but in what chapter, page, or line, ye critics, if ye please, define) had found an oyster in their way. Contest and foul debate arose,

:

both view'd at once with greedy eyes,
both chalieng'd the delicious prize,
and high words soon improv'd to blows.
• Actions on actions hence succeed,
each hero's obstinately stout,
green bags and parchments fly about,
pleadings are drawn and counsel fee'd.
The parson of the place, good man!
whose kind and charitable heart
in human ills still bore a part,
thrice shook his head, and thus began.

"Neighbours and friends, refer to me
this doughty matter in dispute,
I'll soon decide th' important suit,
and finish all without a fee.

Give me the oyster then-'t is well;"
he opens it, and at one sup
gulps the contested trifle up,
and, smiling, gives to each a shell.

"Henceforth let foolish discord cease,
your oyster's good as e'er was eat;

I thank you for my dainty treat, God bless you both, go live in peace!"

MORAL.

Ye men of Norfolk and of Wales,
from this learn common sense!
nor thrust your neighbours into goals
for every slight offence.

Banish those vermin of debate,

that on your substance feed! the knaves, who now are serv'd in plate, would starve, if fools agreed,

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THE TRUE USE OF THE LOOKING GLASS.

A TALE.

Tom Careful, had a son and heir,
exact his shape, genteel his air,
Adonis was not half so fair.

But then, alas! his daughter Jane
was but so-so, a little plain.
In mam's apartment, as one day
the little romp and hoyden play,
their faces in the glass they view'd,
which then upon her toilet stood;
where, as Narcissus vain, the boy
beheld each rising charm with joy;
with partial eyes survey'd himself,
but for his sister, poor brown elf,
on her the self-enamour'd chit
was very lavish of his wit.
She bore, alas! whate'er she could,
but 'twas too much for flesh and blood;
what female ever had the grace

to pardon scandal on her face?
Disconsolate away she flies,
and at her daddy's feet she lies;
sighs, sobs, and groans, calls to her aid,
and tears, that readily obey'd;
then aggravates the vile offence,
exerting all her eloquence:

the cause th' indulgent father heard;
and culprit summon'd, soon appear'd;
some tokens of remorse he show'd,
and promis'd largely to be good..
As both the tender father press'd
with equal ardour to his breast,
and smiling kiss'd, "Let there be peace,"
said he; "let broils and discord cease:
"Each day, my children, thus employ
the faithful mirror; you, my boy,
remember that no vice disgrace
the gift of heaven, that beauteous face:
and you, my girl, take special care
your want of beauty to repair
by virtue, which alone is fair."

WILLIAM PATTISON,

was born at Peasmarsh near Rye, in Suffolk, in 1706, where his father rented a considerable estate belonging the earl of Thanet. Having shewn a great propensity to learning and discovered some strong indica ions of genius, his father being unable to give him a suitable education, he obtained for him the attention and patronage of the earl of Thanet, who placed him at the free-school of Appleby in Westmoreland, under the tuition of Bancks. His successor was Thomas Nevinson, of Queen's College, Oxford, with whom Pattison applied himself chiefly to the study of classical literature and poetry. Perhaps the most valuable friend our poet ever met with was the rev.- Noble, schoolmaster, at Kirby Stephen, a man of letters, and an excellent critic. It was this man, who read with him the classics, taught him to discern the beauties and defects of authors, shewed him the difference between solid learning and that which is superficial, and gave him instructions towards the advancement of knowledge, and the refinement of taste. While at school he contracted a debt of about ten pounds which he could not pay; fortunately, however, Sir Christopher Musgrave, bart, at Eden-hall, was so much pleased with an Ode on Christmas Day, written and presented by Pattison, that he directed his chaplain to discharge the debt he owed for books. In 1723 he unfortunately offended a branch of the Thanet family, which produced the neglect of his patron. He therefore left Appleby school, which prevented his election to Queen's-College Oxford. No. 80.

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