my legs: It did come to his hands, and commands shall be executed. I think, we do know the sweet Roman hand. Oli. Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio? Mal. To bed? ay, sweet-heart; and I'll come to thee. Oli. God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so, and kiss thy hand so oft? Mar. How do you, Malvolio? Mal. At your request? Yes; nightingales swer daws. Mal. Go off; I discard you; let me enjoy my private; go off. Mar. Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! did I not tell you?-Sir Toby, my lady prays you to have a care of him. Mal. Ah, ha! does she so ? Sir To. Go to, go to; peace, peace, we must deal gently with him; let me alone. How do you, Malvolio? how is't with you? What, man! defy the an-devil: consider, he's an enemy to mankind. Mar. Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness before my lady? Mal. Do you know what you say? Mar. La you, an you speak ill of the devil, how he takes it at heart! Pray God, he be not be Mal. Be not afraid of greatness :-'Twas well witched! writ. Oli. What meanest thou by that, Malvolio? Oli. Ha? Ser. Madam, the young gentleman of the count Orsino's is returned; I could hardly entreat him back; he attends your ladyship's pleasure. Fab. Carry his water to the wise woman. Mar. Marry, and it shall be done to-morrow morning, if I live. My lady would not lose him for more than I'll say. Mal. How now, mistress? Mar. O lord! Sir To. Pr'ythee, hold thy peace; this is not the way: Do you not see, you move him? let me alone with him. Fab. No way but gentleness; gently, gently: the fiend is rough, and will not be roughly used. Sir To. Why, how now, my bawcock ? how dost thou, chuck? Mal. Sir? Sir To. Ay, Biddy, come with me. What, man! 'tis not for gravity to play at cherry-pit with Satan: Hang him, foul collier ! Mar. Get him to say his prayers; good sir Toby, get him to pray. Mal. My prayers, minx? Mar. No, I warrant you, he will not hear of godliness. Mal. Go, hang yourselves all! you are idle, shallow things: I am not of your element; you shall know more hereafter. [Exit. Sir To. Is't possible! Fab. If this were played upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction. Sir To. His very genius hath taken the infection of the device, man. Mar. Nay, pursue him now; lest the device take air, and taint. Fab. Why, we shall make him mad, indeed. Ol. I'll come to him. [Exit Servant.] Good Maria, let this fellow be looked to. Where's my cousin Toby? Let some of my people have a special care of him; I would not have him miscarry for the half of my dowry. [Exit Olivia and Mar. Mal. Oh, ho! do you come near me now? no worse man than sir Toby to look to me? This concurs directly with the letter: she sends him on purpose, that I may appear stubborn to him; for she incites me to that in the letter. Cast the humble slough, says she; be opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants, let thy tongue tang with arguments Sir To. Come, we'll have him in a dark room, of state,-put thyself into the trick of singularity; and bound. My niece is already in the belief that and, consequently, sets down the manner how; as, he is mad; we may carry it thus for our pleasure, a sad face, a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in and his penance, till our very pastime, tired out of the habit of some sir of note, and so forth. I have breath, prompt us to have mercy on him: at which limed her; but it is Jove's doing, and Jove make time, we will bring the device to the bar, and me thankful! And, when she went away now, Let crown thee for a finder of madmen. But see, but see. this fellow be looked to: Fellow! not Malvolio, nor after my degree, but fellow. Why, every thing adheres together; that no dram of a scruple, no scruple of a scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous or unsafe circumstance,-What can be said? Nothing, that can be, can come between me and the full prospect of my hopes. Well, Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked. Re-enter Maria, with Sir Toby Belch, and Fabian. Sir To. Which way is he, in the name of sanctity? If all the devils in hell be drawn in little, and Legion himself possessed him, yet I'll speak to him. Fab. Here he is, here he is :-How is't with you, sir? how is't with you, man? (1) Hot weather madness. (2) Caught her as a bird with birdlime. (3) Companion. Enter Sir Andrew Ague-cheek. Fab. More matter for a May morning. Sir And. Ay, is it, I warrant him: do but read. Sir To. Give me. [reads.] Youth, whatsoever thou art, thou art but a scurvy fellow. Fab. Good, and valiant. Sir To. Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, why I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason for't. Fab. A good note: that keeps you from the blow of the law. (4) Jolly cock, beau and coq. (5) A play among boys. (6) Colliers were accounted great cheats : Sir To. Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in A fiend, like thee, might bear my soul to hell. [Ex. my sight she uses thee kindly but thou liest in thy throat, that is not the matter I challenge thee for. Fab. Very brief, and exceeding good sense-less. Sir To. I will way-lay thee going home; where if it be thy chance to kill me,— Fab. Good. Re-enter Sir Toby Belch, and Fabian. Sir To. That defence thou hast, betake thee Sir To. Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain. to't: of what nature the wrongs are thou hast Fab. Still you keep o' the windy side of the law: done him, I know not; but thy intercepter, full of despight, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the Good. Sir To. Fare thee well; And God have mercy orchard end: dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy upon one of our souls! He may have mercy upon preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful, and mine; but my hope is better, and so look to thydeadly. self. Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy Andrew Ague-cheek. Sir To. If this letter moves him not, his legs cannot: I'll giv't him. sworn enemy. Mar. You may have very fit occasion for't; he is now in some commerce with my lady, and will by and by depart. Vio. You mistake, sir; I am sure, no man hati. any quarrel to me; my remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence done to any man. Sir To. You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard; for your opposite hath in him what youth, strength, skill, and wrath, can furnish man withal. Vio. I pray you, sir, what is he? Sir To. Go, sir Andrew; scout me for him at the corner of the orchard, like a bum-bailiff: so soon as ever thou seest him, draw; and as thou Sir To. He is knight, dubbed with unhacked drawest, swear horrible; for it comes to pass oft, rapier, and on carpet consideration; but he is a that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent divorced three; and his incensement at this modevil in private brawl: souls and bodies hath he sharply twanged off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earned ment is so implacable, that satisfaction can be none him. Away. but by pangs of death and sepulchre: hob, nob, is Sir And. Nay, let me alone for swearing. [Er. his word; give't, or take't. Sir To. Now will not I deliver his letter: for the Vio. I will return again into the house, and debehaviour of the young gentleman gives him out sire some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I to be of good capacity and breeding; his employ-have heard of some kind of men, that put quarrels ment between his lord and my niece confirms no purposely on others, to taste their valour: belike, less; therefore this letter, being so excellently ig- this is a man of that quirk. norant, will breed no terror in the youth, he will Sir To. Sir, no; his indignation derives itsell find it comes from a clodpole. But, sir, I will de-out of a very competent injury; therefore, get you liver his challenge by word of mouth; set upon the house, unless you undertake that with me, on, and give him his desire. Back you shall not to Ague-cheek a notable report of valour; and drive which with as much safety you might answer him: the gentleman (as, I know, his youth will aptly re- therefore, on, or strip your sword stark naked; ceive it,) into a most hideous opinion of his rage, for meddle you must, that's certain, or forswear to skill, fury, and impetuosity. This will so fright wear iron about you. them both, that they will kill one another by the look, like cockatrices. Enter Olivia and Viola. Fab. Here he comes with your niece: give them way, till he take leave, and presently after him. Sir To. I will meditate the while upon some horrid message for a challenge. [Exeunt Sir Toby, Fabian, and Maria. That it but mocks reproof. Vio. This is as uncivil, as strange. I beseech you, do me this courteous office, as to know of the knight what my offence to him is; it is something of my negligence, nothing of my purpose. Sir To. I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you by this gentleman till my return. [Exit Sir Toby. Vio. Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter? Fab. I know, the knight is incensed against you, circumstance more. even to a mortal arbitrament; but nothing of the Vio. I beseech you, what manner of man is he? Fab. Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him by his form, as you are like to find him in the Vio. With the same 'haviour that your passion proof of his valour. He is, indeed, sir, the most bears, skilful, bloody, and fatal opposite that you could possibly have found in any part of Illyria: will you pic-walk towards him? I will make your peace with him, if I can. Refuse it not, it hath no tongue to vex you: master. Oli. How with mine honour may I give him that Vio. well; (1) Uncautiously. (2) Rapier. (3) Ready. (4) Sort. (5) Decision. (6) Adversary. Vio. I shall be much bound to you for't: I am one, that would rather go with sir priest, than sir knight: I care not who knows so much of my mettle. [Exeuni. Re-enter Sir Toby, with Sir Andrew. Sir To. Why, man, he's a very devil; I have not seen such a virago. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard, and all, and he gives me the stuck-in," with such a mortal motion, that it is inevitable; and on the answer, he pays you as surely (7) Stoccata, an Italian term in fencing. as your feet hit the ground they step on: they say, he has been fencer to the Sophy. Sir And. Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him. Sir To. Ay, but he will not now be pacified: Fabian can scarce hold him yonder. Sir And. Plague on't; an I thought he had been valiant, and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him damned ere I'd have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him my horse, grey Capilet. What will you do? Now my necessity But be of comfort. 2 Off. Come, sir, away. Ant. I must entreat of you some of that money. For the fair kindness you have show'd me here, Sir To. I'll make the motion: stand here, make a good show on't; this shall end without the per- I'll lend you something: my having is not much; dition of souls: marry, I'll ride your horse as well I'll make division of my present with you: as I ride you. [Aside. Hold, there is half my coffer. Ant. Will you deny me now! Is't possible, that my deserts to you Lest that it make me so unsound a man, Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery, Re-enter Fabian and Viola. Vio. I know of none; I have his horse [to Fab.] to take up the quarrel; hurt you. man. Vio. Pray God defend me! A little thing would make me tell them how much I lack of a [Aside. Fab. Give ground, if you see him furious. Sir To. Come, sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the gentleman will, for his honour's sake, have one bout with you: he cannot by the duello avoid it: but he has promised me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on; to't. Sir And. Pray God, he keep his oath! [Draws. officers. Enter two Officers. [Draws. Nor know I you by voice, or any feature: Ant. I snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death; 1 Off. What's that to us? The time goes by; away. Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame.- 1 Of. The man grows mad; away with him. Come, come, sir. Ant. Lead me on [Exe. Officers, with Antonio. That he believes himself; so do not I. Sir To. Come hither, knight; come hither, Fa bian; we'll whisper o'er a couplet or two of most sage saws. Vio. He nam'd Sebastian; I my brother know Fab. O good sir Toby, hold; here come the Yet living in any glass; even such and so, In favour was my brother; and he went Sir To. I'll be with you anon. [To Antonio. Still in this fashion, colour, ornament, Vio. Pray, sir, put up your sword, if you please. For him I imitate: O, if it prove, [To Sir Andrew. Tempests are kind, and salt waves fresh in love! Sir And. Marry, will I, sir?-and, for that promised you, I'll be as good as my word: He will bear you easily, and reins well. 1 Off. This is the man; do thy office. 2 Off. Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit Of count Orsino. You do mistake me, sir. Ant. (1) Horrid conception. (3) Ornamented. [Exit. Sir To. A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward than a hare: his dishonesty appears, in leaving his friend here in necessity, and denying him; and for his cowardship, ask Fabian. Fab. A coward, a most devout coward, reli gious in it. Sir And. 'Slid, I'll after him again, and beat him. Sir To. Do, cuff him soundly, but never draw thy sword. Sir And. An I do not, Fab. Come, let's see the event. [Exit Sir To. I dare lay any money, 'twill be nothing In this uncivil and unjust extent3 yet. ACT IV. [Exeunt. Against thy peace. Go with me to my house; SCENE I.-The street before Olivia's house. Clo. Will you make me believe, that I am not sent for you? Seb. Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow; Let me be clear of thee. Clo. Well held out, i'faith! No, I do not know you; nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid vou come speak with her; nor your name is not master Cesario; nor this is not my nose neither.Nothing, that is so, is so. Seb. I pr'ythee, vent' thy folly somewhere else; thou know'st not me. Seb. What relish is in this? how runs the stream? Oli. O, say so, and so be! [Exe SCENE II.-A room in Olivia's house. Enter Clo. Vent my folly! he has heard that word of this beard; make him believe thou art sir Topes Mar. Nay, I pr'ythee, put on this gown, and some great man, and now applies it to a fool. the curate; do it quickly: I'll call sir Toby the Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the whilst. [Exit Maria. world, will prove a cockney.-1 pr'ythee now, un- Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble gird thy strangeness, and tell me what I shall vent myself in't; and I would I were the first that ever to my lady; shall I vent to her, that thou art dissembled in such a gown. I am not fat enough coming? to become the function well; nor lean enough to Seb. I pr'ythee, foolish Greek, depart from me; be thought a good student; but to be said, an There's money for thee; if you tarry longer, I shall give worse payment. honest man, and a good housekeeper, goes as fairly, as to say, a careful man, and a great scho Clo. By my troth, thou hast an open hand:-lar. These wise men, that give fools money, get themselves a good report after fourteen years' purchase. Enter Sir Andrew, Sir Toby, and Fabian. Sir And. Now, sir, have I met you again? there's for you. The competitors' enter. Enter Sir Toby Belch and Maria. Sir To. Jove bless thee, master parson. Clo. Bonos dies, sir Toby: for as the old hermit [Striking Sebastian. of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very witSeb. Why, there's for thee, and there, and there: tily said to a niece of king Gorboduc, That, that is, are all the people mad? [Beating Sir Andrew. is: so I, being master parson, am master parson; Sir To. Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er for what is that, but that? and is, but is? the house. Clo. This will I tell my lady straight: I would not be in some of your coats for two-pence. [Exit Clown. Sir To. Come on, sir; hold. [Holding Seb. Sir And. Nay, let him alone, I'll go another way to work with him; I'll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria: though I struck him first, yet it's no matter for that. Seb. Let go thy hand. Sir To. Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young soldier, put up your iron: you are well fleshed; come on. Seb. I will be free from thee. What would'st If thou dar'st tempt me further, draw thy sword. Enter Olivia. Sir To. To him, sir Topas. Clo. What, hoa, I say,-Peace in this prison ! Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; a good knave. Mal. [in an inner chamber.] Who calls there? Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, good sir Topas, go to my lady. Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man? talkest thou nothing but of ladies? Sir To. Well said, master parson. Mal. Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged!good sir Topas, do not think I am mad; they have laid me here in hideous darkness. Clo. Fie, thou dishonest Sathan! I call thee by the most modest terms: for I am one of those gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with courtesy: say'st thou, that house is dark? Mal. As hell, sir Topas. [Draws. Oli. Hold, Toby; on thy life, I charge thee, hold. Oli, Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch, Be not offended, dear Cesario:- [Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Fabian. 8 Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows, transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stones towards the southnorth are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction? Mal. I am not mad, sir Topas; I say to you, this house is dark. Clo. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness, but ignorance: in which thou art more puzzled, than the Egyptians in their fog. Mal. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance. though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say there was never man thus abused: I am no more mad than you are; make the trial of it in any constant question.1 Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras, concerning wild-fowl ? Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird. Clo. What thinkest thou of his opinion? Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion. Clo. Fare thee well: remain thou still in darkness: thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well. Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, Sir To. My most exquisite sir Topas! Clo. Nay, I am for all waters.2 Mar. Thou might'st have done this without thy! beard and gown; he sees thee not. Tell me how thy lady does. Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring SCENE III.-Olivia's garden. Enter Sebastian. me word how thou findest him: I would we were Seb. This is the air; that is the glorious sun; well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveni- This pearl she gave me, I do feel't, and see't: ently delivered, I would he were; for I am now so And though 'tis wonder that enwraps me thus, far in offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue Yet 'tis not madness. Where's Antonio then? with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by I could not find him at the Elephant: and by to my chamber. [Exe. Sir Toby and Mar. Yet there he was; and there I found this credit," Clo. Hey, Robin, jolly Robin, That he did range the town to seek me out. [Singing. His counsel now might do me golden service: For though my soul disputes well with my sense, That this may be some error, but no madness, Yet doth this accident and flood of fortune, So far exceed all instance, all discourse, That I am ready to distrust mine eyes, And wrangle with my reason, that persuades me To any other trust but that I am mad, Or else the lady's mad; yet, if 'twere so, She could not sway her house, command her fo lowers, 10 Mal. Fool, Clo. My lady is unkind, perdy. Clo. Alas, why is she so? Mal. Fool, I say; Clo. She loves another-Who calls, ha? Mal. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, and ink, and paper; as I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for't. Clo. Master Malvolio! Clo. Alas, sir, how fell you beside your five wits? Mal. Fool, there was never man so notoriously abused: I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art. Clo. But as well? then you are mad, indeed, if you be no better in your wits than a fool. Mal. They have here propertied me; keep me in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to face me out of my wits. Clo. Advise you what you say; the minister is here.-Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore! endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble. Mal. Sir Topas, Clo. Maintain no words with him, good fellow. Who, I, sir? not I, sir. God b'wi'you, good sir Topas.-Marry, amen.-I will, sir, I will." Mal. Fool, fool, fool, I say, Clo. Alas, sir, be patient. What say you, sir? I am shent for speaking to you. Take, and give back, affairs, and their despatch, Enter Olivia and a Priest. Oli. Blame not this haste of mine: if you mean Now go with me, and with this holy man, go with you; Mal. Good fool, help me to some light, and some paper; I tell thee, I am as well in my wits, as any That they may fairly note this act of mine! [Exe. man in Illyria. Clo. Well a-day,-that you were, sir! Mal. By this hand, I am: good fool, some ink, paper, and light, and convey what I will set down ACT V. to my lady; it shall advantage thee more than ever SCENE I-The street before Olivia's house. the bearing of letter did. Clo. I will help you to't. But tell me true, are vou not mad, indeed? or do you but counterfeit ? (1) Regular conversation. (2) Any other gem as a topaz. (3) Senses. (4) Taken possession of. (5) Scolded, reprimanded. M Enter Clown and Fabian. Fab. Now, as thou lovest me, let me see his letter. (6) A buffoon character in the old plays, and father of the modern harlequin. (7) Account. (8) Reason. (9) Belief. (12) Until |