To our meat and to our wine, Zephyr wantonly caresses, Laura, with ber neck of snow, Nov. 28.-Read over Hodgson's Report of yesterday's proceedings; approved of it, and sent it to press. N. B. Mr. H. is apt to be facetious, and put puns in the mouths of his fellow-members, of which they were never guilty. He might derive a useful lesson or two from Oakley's "Objections to other Men's Wit." Mem. To publish them the first opportunity. Talked politics with Sir Francis. Had a letter from Burton-the following is an extract : "Miss Anne Parsons was married last Monday. The papers say she is very accomplished. Thereby hangs a tale. I was introduced to her some weeks ago, and my friend informed me that the lady was a great poetess, a great musician, and understood all modern languages except one. Now, you know, Courtenay, I only speak one language, and I suppose that is the one with which Anne is unacquainted." Mem.-Martin must write a paper recommending the study of English to all accomplished ladies. Received a few rhymes from Patrick O'Connor. Extracted one stanza for the sake of the pun. I did not suspect Pat of any thing so classical. TO TOBACCO. Come, whate'er may be thy form, Bring thy leaves, or stem, or root, Come thou choicest, primest thing! Four o'clock till five.-Sat in my elbow-chair, something between sleeping and waking. Meditated on No. I, No. II, No. III, and No. IV. Scribbled the following EPILOGUE TO NO. III, Fellow Etonians! all who view Let merry laugh and cheering smile While you behold with partial praise " I hear sad reports of the intended severities of Mr R****ts, the Editor of the British. If the said reports are groundless, I beg it may be thought that “the British' is only introduced "Metri Gratia." If Mr. R****ts really means to be spiteful, all I can say is," Fye Mr. R****ts!" THE ETONIAN. N°. IV. The King of Clubs. WONDERFUL EFFECTS OF "THE ETONIAN." Saturni, 27° die Januarii, 1821. BEFORE I detail to you, beneficent Readers, the proceedings of our first meeting since the Holidays,-or, to speak more correctly, the Recess, allow me, in my own person (for I am a bit of an egotist), to make to you a few remarks which Mr. Courtenay's modesty hath omitted. Firstly, have you read our first three Numbers? If not, betake yourself forthwith to Mr. Warren's, and buy copies, if they are to be bought, for, like honest men, they are becoming scarce. How should it be otherwise, when we are patronized alike by peerage and people, -when Mr. Hill, the barrister, calls us "the best thing going," when Miss Lely, the coquette, allows that, after Tom Moore, and scandal, and flirtation, we are really "pretty well," when Professor Von Masterlich has analyzed us in the German, and Father Confu Ching Chau has translated us in the Chinese,-when, finally, in common with every thing that has the welfare of Eton for its object, we have been noticed by the Princess Augusta? But perhaps you have read the above-mentioned three Numbers; why then look for a moment at the effects they have produced :Flint's has been crowded with tenfold custom ever since it was the scene of "Lover's Vows;" Lord Byron has withheld his continuation of Don Juan, from fear of competing with "Godiva;" Gerard's Remarks on Wordsworth have been closely followed by a new Edition of the Excursion; the Microcosm, and the Miniature, which were falling into a venerable, but I am afraid forgotten, old age, have attained as it were a second youth (vide Wrapper), and burst again upon public admiration as the real monarchs of early literature, who see in "The King of Clubs" the most respectful, though the most unworthy of their vassals. The Newspapers have taken much notice of us; more, I think, than they do of some of our betters. I may enumerate The Sun, The Guardian, The New Times, and divers provincial prints, among those which have illuminated the world with extracts. The British Stuge has reviewed us very favourably; to say the truth, the Editor has made a mistake or two, but I shall not enumerate them, as I understand Peregrine has desired him to correct them in his ensuing Number. The Club is much obliged to The British Stage. * Talking of the Stage, I must remark upon a scandalous misapprehension which has gone abroad upon the subject of my individual person in its official capacity. Have you not seen in the puffs in the papers, and the puffs in the bills, that the prologue at the Lyceum is spoken by the "Knave of Clubs?" Now I believe this is a device to draw an audience; yet it is by too many believed that I myself, Richard Hodgson, Knave of Clubs, Secretary, have degraded myself to the limit of a stage-player, and come forward (“ Proh Jupiter !") with "A Prologue on the Posy of a Ring!" I avow, under my hand, that I am sitting, at half-past ten, in a cell 7 feet by 6, scribbling egotism, which is not written to please those whom it will not please. And here is a Bill which gives me a special retainer to the Opera House! I shudder at the age in which I live! Have I senses? Am I man? Will these gentlemen be contented with giving me two capacities, or am I like Captain Absolute, three people at once? But I must trespass on your attention no longer; for indeed our delay in the appearance of this Number has so overburthened us with contributions that we can only spare six pages for our Club Report. MEETING OF THE CLUB. The Club met pursuant to notice, and Mr. COURTENAY took the Chair. Discontent appeared prevalent among the Members, and there was reason to apprehend that the revolutionary spirit which has of late breathed out its malignant fury against greater Potentates, had pervaded the subjects of his Majesty of Clubs. The names were called over, the punch was prepared, and the storm arose. Reader, have you ever seen a bull fastened to a stake and goaded to madness by bipeds and quadrupeds innumerable? Have you ever seen a milliner tormented by the queries of twenty boarding-school Misses, and rated for the late arrival of the new Bonnet, or the new Body? Finally, have you ever seen Lord Castlereagh opposing himself a single, and a ready respondent to the interrogatories of countless Oppositionists, who present themselves in horrible succession, as if the line would "stretch out to the crack of doom?" If you have seen these things, you may perhaps form some idea of the rapidity with which questions upon questions were poured out upon Mr. Courtenay-all of them relating to a point upon which many of our readers are doubtless as inquisitive. I am sorry that I am forbidden to gratify their curiosity. Mr. COURTENAY rose to reply. He moved, as a preliminary stipulation, that the Secretary be directed not to publish the proceedings N. B. The British Stage may stand in lieu of The British Review at the conclusion of No. III; as the latter Publication has charitably let us alone. |