Ah, do not tear away thyself from me!
For know, my love, as easy mayst thou fall
A drop of water in the breaking gulf,
And take unmingled thence that drop again,
Without addition or diminishing,

As take from me thyself and not me too.
How dearly would it touch thee to the quick,
Shouldst thou but hear I were licentious,
And that this body, consecrate to thee,
By ruffian lust should be contaminate!
Wouldst thou not spit at me and spurn at me,
And hurl the name of husband in my face,
And tear the stain'd skin off my harlot-brow,
And from my false hand cut the wedding-ring,
And break it with a deep-divorcing vow?

I know thou canst; and therefore see thou do it.

I am possess'd with an adulterate blot;

My blood is mingled with the crime of lust:
For if we two be one and thou play false,

I do digest the poison of thy flesh,

Being strumpeted by thy contagion.

Keep then fair league and truce with thy true bed;

I live unstain'd, thou undishonoured.

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140

Antipholus of S. Plead you to me, fair dame? I know

you not.

In Ephesus I am but two hours old,

As strange unto your town as to your talk;

Who, every word by all my wit being scann'd,

Want wit in all one word to understand.

150

Luciana. Fie, brother! how the world is chang'd with you!

When were you wont to use my sister thus?

She sent for you by Dromio home to dinner.

Antipholus of S. By Dromio?

Dromio of S. By me?

Adriana. By thee; and this thou didst return from him,—

That he did buffet thee, and in his blows
Denied my house for his, me for his wife.

Antipholus of S. Did you converse, sir, with this gentle

woman?

What is the course and drift of your compact?

Dromio of S. I, sir? I never saw her till this time.

160

Antipholus of S. Villain, thou liest; for even her very words

Didst thou deliver to me on the mart.

Dromio of S. I never spake with her in all my life. Antipholus of S. How can she thus then call us by our

names,

Unless it be by inspiration.

Adriana. How ill agrees it with your gravity
To counterfeit thus grossly with your slave,
Abetting him to thwart me in my mood!
Be it my wrong you are from me exempt,
But wrong not that wrong with a more contempt.
Come, I will fasten on this sleeve of thine;
Thou art an elm, my husband, I a vine,
Whose weakness married to thy stronger state
Makes me with thy strength to communicate.
If aught possess thee from me, it is dross,
Usurping ivy, brier, or idle moss;

Who, all for want of pruning, with intrusion

Infect thy sap and live on thy confusion.

170

Antipholus of S. To me she speaks; she moves me for her

theme!

What, was I married to her in my dream?

Or sleep I now, and think I hear all this?

What error drives our eyes and ears amiss?
Until I know this sure uncertainty,

I'll entertain the offer'd fallacy.

Luciana. Dromio, go bid the servants spread for dinner. Dromio of S. O, for my beads! I cross me for a sinner.

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190

This is the fairy land: O spite of spites!
We talk with goblins, owls, and sprites:
If we obey them not, this will ensue,—
They'll suck our breath or pinch us black and blue.
Luciana. Why prat'st thou to thyself and answer'st not?
Dromio, thou drone, thou snail, thou slug, thou sot!
Dromio of S. I am transformed, master, am I not?
Antipholus of S. I think thou art in mind, and so am I.
Dromio of S. Nay, master, both in mind and in my shape.
Antipholus of S. Thou hast thine own form.

Dromio of S.

No, I am an ape. Luciana. If thou art chang'd to aught, 't is to an ass. Dromio of S. 'T is true; she rides me and I long for grass.

'Tis so, I am an ass; else it could never be

But I should know her as well as she knows me.

Adriana. Come, come, no longer will I be a fool,

To put the finger in the eye and weep,

Whilst man and master laughs my woes to scorn.
Come, sir, to dinner.-Dromio, keep the gate.—
Husband, I'll dine above with you to-day,
And shrive you of a thousand idle pranks.—
Sirrah, if any ask you for your master,

Say he dines forth and let no creature enter.

Come, sister.-Dromio, play the porter well.

Antipholus of S. Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell?
Sleeping or waking? mad or well-advis'd?

Known unto these, and to myself disguis'd!
I'll say as they say and persever so,

And in this mist at all adventures go.

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210

Dromio of S. Master, shall I be porter at the gate? Adriana. Ay; and let none enter, lest I break your pate. Luciana. Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too late.

[Exeunt.

SCENE I. Before the House of Antipholus of Ephesus. Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS, DROMIO OF EPHESUS, ANGELO, and BALTHAZAR.

Antipholus of E. Good Signior Angelo, you must excuse us all;

My wife is shrewish when I keep not hours.
Say that I linger'd with you at your shop
To see the making of her carcanet,
And that to-morrow you will bring it home.
But here's a villain that would face me down
He met me on the mart, and that I beat him
And charg'd him with a thousand marks in gold,

And that I did deny my wife and house.

Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this?

10

Dromio of E. Say what you will, sir, but I know what I

know;

That you beat me at the mart, I have your hand to show.

If the skin were parchment and the blows you gave were ink,
Your own handwriting would tell you what I think.

Antipholus of E. I think thou art an ass.
Dromio of E.

Marry, so it doth appear

By the wrongs I suffer and the blows I bear.

I should kick, being kick'd; and, being at that pass,
You would keep from my heels and beware of an ass.
Antipholus of E. You 're sad, Signior Balthazar; pray God

our cheer

20

May answer my good will and your good welcome here. Balthazar. I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your welcome dear.

Antipholus of E. O, Signior Balthazar, either at flesh or fish, A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty dish.

Balthazar. Good meat, sir, is common; that every churl affords.

Antipholus of E. And welcome more common; for that's nothing but words.

Balthazar. Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast.

Antipholus of E. Ay, to a niggardly host and more sparing

guest.

But though my cates be mean, take them in good part;
Better cheer may you have, but not with better heart.
But, soft! my door is lock'd.—Go bid them let us in.
Dromio of E. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian,
Ginn!

30

Dromio of S. [Within] Mome, malt - horse, capon, coxcomb, idiot, patch!

Either get thee from the door or sit down at the hatch.
Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st for such

store,

When one is one too many? Go get thee from the door. Dromio of E. What patch is made our porter? My master stays in the street.