nifters, and the work of the Lord going profperoufly on every where; but I am fo blind that I can fee nothing of it, but quite the reverfe; for, go where I will, I find here and there a poor perishing finner starving for want of the bread of life, and there are none to break it unto them. In my view of things this is a time of spiritual famine, when many of the poor and needy feek water, and there is none. Wells without water, and clouds without rain, we have plenty; but the miniftry of the Spirit, and the power of God unto falvation, is rarely to be found. But we must leave the government upon the fhoulders of the wonderful Counfellor; for none of the fubjects of his kingdom fhall ever perish, but shall have eternal life. I have run quite out of the way; but it is out of the abundance of the heart the mouth fpeaketh.

Our glass is running out apace, and the bitternefs of death is paft; life and immortality hath been brought to light in our fouls; the incarnate Word hath quickened us; he hath chaftened us fore, but he hath not given us over unto death. Then "wherefore doth a living man complain, a man for the punishment of his fin?" Out of the dark regions of the fhadow of death have we been brought; our fins have been removed, and our guilt purged; he hath begotten us to a lively hope, and bleffed us with inward peace; he hath circumcifed our hearts to love him, and will not fuffer

Q 3

fuffer any thing to fatisfy us fhort of his prefence, his grace, and the light of his countenance; and, though thefe be often denied us, yet the time cometh when we fhall fee him as he is; and our prefent forrows and fufferings fhall be all forgotten; when we fhall hear no more the groanings of Zion, nor fhall her children fay any more, "Behold, I am fick;" for all the remains of corruption fhall be done away. Farewell, dear fifter; and let me know by a few lines, as foon as you are able to write, what fupport, what relief, what encouragement, what views, profpects, meditations, fmiles, or vifits, you have been favoured with, in this laft furnace; and you will much oblige

Your affectionate friend and brother,

The Defert.

NOCTUA AURITA.

LETTER

LETTER XXXIX.

To NOCTUA AURITA, in the Defert.

I HAVE received yours, and do moft

kindly thank you for the fame. I was forry to hear of your inward weaknefs; fhould be glad to know if it hath pleafed the Lord to re-establish your health.

Some things in your letter convinced me that you still remain a prophet of the Lord to me for you have defcribed my feelings as true as if you had known all the workings of my mind for this fortnight paft; though I know you could not have received my laft little ferap of a letter till after yours was written.

Relapfed into legal bondage I am. O! it is a wretched captivity. You tell me to look once more towards God's holy temple. But, alas! I have no faith in exercife on the object of faith, nor yet on the promife. I feel the old man alive in all his members. Never, I think, did I experience fuch a frame fince I defcended from the mount. God has put me into his furnace, and has fupported me there hitherto; though at times I fear his rod has been spent on me in vain. I am shut up from Q 4

the

the public means, where my foul has been often quickened under the word, through indifpofition of body, for my tabernacle is kept very weak and low. Satan preaches me many lectures, and tries to raise in my mind hard thoughts of my God; and he too often fucceeds. It is poor living on the old ftock; indeed, it only keeps hope from giving up the ghoft; it is living too near home, as you well obferve. O! how does my foul long to have this veil rent. But I know that nothing will do it but a fight of Chrift crucified. O! that he would work in my heart that contrition and godly forrow, that with Mary I might fit at his dear feet and weep it out. My foul craves no greater bleffing in this world. But the Lord has, I believe, fome harder leffons to teach me; and I am flow of heart to learn, as well as to believe. I want to distinguish the voice of God in his rod, which you fo sweetly treat of in your letter. But I am brought into darkness, and not into light, fo that I cannot difcern; therefore I need ftroke upon ftroke. My cry is, with Job, "Shew me wherefore thou contendeft with me." I well know where the caufe lies; it is that folly that is bound up in my heart; and there is so much of it in me that I fear there can be little elfe but the rod affigned for me. God grant I may be helped to bow and submit to his will. I know the rod is in the covenant: and I do believe that what I am called to endure is not vindictive wrath, but

fatherly

fatherly chastisement, intended for my good. But it is hard to bear; and the mind and thoughts will find employment; and it is, as you observe, poring over the old man and his workings; and I think fometimes that this gives Satan an advantage against me. But I cannot do the things that I would: "but the evil which I would not, that I do." How very unlike the myrtle you speak of am I, whofe fap is, as you obferve, always up, and whofe leaf is ever green. But fure I am, and that from bitter experience, that there is not one grace of the Spirit will flourish in my heart when the beloved of my foul withdraws and hides himfelf from me. I often look over fome of your former letters, which I received when in the midft of my joys, where you warned me of fuch days of darknefs and desertion coming on me, by telling me that the days would come that I fhould defire to fee one of the days of the Son of man, but I fhould not fee it. But I would not believe it. I could not entertain a thought that I fhould ever fall into legal bondage again. But, alas! it has fallen to my fhare over and over again. Therefore, as Jefus faid to one that came to him, I was and learn what that meaneth. And fure I am, as you well obferve, that Satan can bring a dismal gloom on the mind. His aim with me lately is to bring my mind into darkness, by perplexing me with fome part of the word of God; by endeavouring to make one part clash with another.

go