LAWYER. Pray do not mention them at present! And I should hope, that so much candour, Would e'en from you some kind regard That I should thus expose my friends, DEATH. Sir, you presume!—remember I But, come-I'll hear a little more "Profession." LAWYER. Proud am I to say, That no one can these arts display For, few things likelier are to fill DEATH. Hold! hold! for Honesty's abus'd, Whene'er the word's by Lawyers us'd. I've heard enough!-so, come with me. LAWYER. Oh, no! we never should agree; DEATH. I own I did then, be it so, And when you feel dispos'd to go, Perhaps you'll kindly let me know :- With you-why, let it e'en stand by- And you shall recollect this warning:- LAW. "To him who goes to law, nine things are requisite. First, a good deal of money; secondly, a good deal of patience; thirdly, a good cause; fourthly, a good attorney; fifthly, a good counsel; sixthly, good evidence; seventhly, a good jury; eighthly, a good judge; and, ninthly, good luck.” Law has been most aptly compared to an absorbent pipe or channel, through which, whatever may be poured into it, nothing passes; and its delay and expense have been exemplified by a chancery suit, which, having maintained its conductor for thirty years, is left as a notable legacy to his heir. It has been made a question, whether more than half the estates in this kingdom would not change possessors, was their legality properly sifted. Few, it is thought, would bear the ordeal touch of the lawyer's quill; "flaw in the best" might be foundsome are "flaw all over." Law-terms may, in a great measure, be understood for their opposites; thus: Settlement, Uncertainties. Words. Contentions. Rags to the Client; though warm clothing to the Lawyer. As for justice, it is an obsolete term, thought by some to signify the largest fee; many doubt its existence on earth, and compare it to the perpetual motion, the philosopher's stone, the grand elixir, or any other chimera of the imagination. It may well be said, that what is one man's meat is another's poison: since it is found that there are those of so perverse a disposition, that they cannot live without litigation, and must be handling the net of the law till they get entangled in its meshes. Characters of this description are principally found in country places, where causes spring up as fast as weeds, and are sure to encumber the richest soils! then there is the game-what a prolific source of envy, hatred, and malice is the protection of game! How many wrongs do the rights of man generate! What a cause of bitterness to a sportsman is the full bag of a permitted shot! |