26. I have been oppressed these last three days, yet no trials seem to discourage me from attempting to do good to others, as opportunities offer. But I lament I do not obtain greater victories over my enemies, and make greater progress in the Divine life. Years pass quickly on; but alas! how little improved. This thought cuts deep upon a mind desirous of being all light, all life, all love. Yet, in a small measure, I do daily converse with God by faith and prayer, and daily see Jesus as the King in his beauty. While I now write, I feel him precious, and see him clearly. O to be more like him!

Diary continued.

1779.

January 1. The Lord has brought me to see another year. If spared, may I glorify him more than ever, by being more faithful, more fruitful, and more active in his cause: this is the ardent desire of my soul. On a review of the last year, I have cause to say, my God has been truly good : the consolations of his Spirit have neither been

few nor small. He hath visited his unprofitable servant with many refreshing seasons, and often delivered from bodily affliction; given me many precious promises, and numberless opportunities to promote his glory, by attempting to be useful to the bodies and souls of my fellow-creatures. In all, I have come short. I can scarcely perceive that I have made any progress heavenward. When shall my complainings cease? O to be as holy and happy as my God waits to make me! Through the course of the year, I think I have in general found more profit in reading the Scriptures, more comfort in secret prayer, especially early in the morning; and also more power and courage to act for God in a public way. He has discovered some new methods for this, which he had not before shewn me. May the success of my attempts prove that they were from himself, and may he daily enlarge my sphere of usefulness. For these last three months, I think I have enjoyed a greater degree of establishment in his ways; yet, excepting some precious visits, without much additional comfort. I have also had, during that period, much perplexity about the true state of my soul; but whether this uncertainty arises from any loss of grace, or is the result of carnal reasoning, I am at present unable to determine. Shine, Lord, upon thy work; give the witness and the fruit of the Spirit in a much larger measure, that in thy light I may see light.

--7. A happy day. Jesus was precious to

my soul this forenoon when from home. I felt a heavenly serenity shed through my soul; enjoyed clear and distinct actings of faith upon God and Christ, with a power to realize their sacred presence. Repeated acts of self-dedication produced confidence and comfort; but I neglected some opportunities of doing good. O how unprofitable! The Lord, in great mercy and kindness, condescends to encourage me to go on in his ways: he enables me to rely on his word of promise; and I believe he will, in me, " fulfil all the good pleasure of his goodness, and the work of faith with power."* This is what I want. Be it, Lord, as thou hast spoken: hasten thy work, that I may glorify thee.

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21. For some days I have been the subject of severe bodily affliction, but have enjoyed much comfort in my mind. The Lord has dealt tenderly with me. In general my views of God and Christ have not only been clear, but productive of more deep and steady comfort. Within the last eight days I have been obliged to be much with others; yet, so gracious has the Lord been, that I have been permitted to enjoy delightful fellowship with the Father of my spirit, and with the adorable Redeemer of my soul. O to enjoy this, and all its blessed effects, to the utmost possible extent! Though thus comforted, temptations of various kinds, and some of them

very painful, have attacked me; and still I mourn that my conformity to the Divine image is so small and defective. I fear, while I remain in the body I shall not ceasc complaining. At present I suffer from a too great inequality of spirit. I am too easily moved. The reverse of this, at least in a degree, I believe to be my happy privilege. How far a constitution naturally weak, rendered so by various causes, may prevent all I desire, is a question I cannot easily solve; or how far these variations may exist without any mixture of sin, I am also at a loss fully to determine. May he that knoweth all things give me to know, and also to prove, the utmost efficacy of Divine grace. At present, I feel weak in body, weak in mind, and unable to spend much time at once in any duty; yet I am comfortable. I am very desirous to be faithful to those around me, both by precept and practice; but am sadly defective.

February 22. Since my last date I have felt, at times, most ardent desires for more devotedness of heart and life to God. I fear self-indulgence, and am on the watch against it; yet, from constant weakness and frequent indisposition, I am, I know, in danger of it. But the Lord hath said, "No weapon formed against thee shall prosper." I also fear that worldly cares occupy too many of my thoughts, and hurt my soul. Lord, help me to cast my every care on thee. My conversation in my family is not so spiritual as it ought to be. I determine to improve in

this. This night, when reflecting on past experiences, I was sensible of a growth in grace. My views of God and Christ are more clear, my peace more constant, my power to act for God greater, but I still live below my privileges. I fear I am not improving to the utmost my present situation. It has long been a time of great temptation.. O that it may prove a purifying furnace.

25. Was often this morning and forenoon at a throne of grace, yet could not obtain that intensity of mind and heart I desired. O what is man! Without continued aid from on high he is all weakness, unfaithfulness, unprofitableness. How great the long-suffering of God that bears so long with him! When visiting the sick to-day, found my views of God the Father, and Son, clear, and my meditations sweet; all nature seemed to wear a smile: indeed, the beauties of nature ever tend to elevate my mind, and thus carry it up to its great Author. O to be more spiritual! I found to-day, by attempting to communicate happiness to others, I secured happiness to myself. Surely our Lord's words are strictly and literally true, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." But in all I say, or do, or think, I fail. Holy Jesus, I fly to thy atoning blood for pardon, and to the blessed Spirit to sanctify me. Make me as the king's daughter, all glorious within.

27. O how gracious was my God to-day! He gave me a delightful prospect of eternity,