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count of backsliding. Her religion had its varieties, but these were the varieties of advance ; the blade shooting into stalk, then the ear, and the ear gradually receiving the golden colouring of maturity and ripeness: her inward experience had its changes, but these changes were only those of the glorious rising morn, which shineth brighter and brighter to the perfect day.'

1768.

Advantages of Auto-biography-Lady M—'s Diary.

AFTER the preceding observations, Lady Maxwell shall be chiefly her own biographer. As none but God and herself could know the varied exercises of her mind and heart; so no pen but her own could have ever described them. Others might tell of what she said, and of what she did; but she will relate what she thought and what she felt: what were the causes of her sorrows, and from whence arose her joys. She will unfold the motives which gave life and energy to her actions, and describe the might. by which she was enabled to perform them. She will tell of her hopes and fears, her inward conflicts and spiritual conquests; and give many an important lesson to those, who are seeking for "glory, immortality, and eternal life."

April 25. All the last week the Lord has been exceedingly gracious to me, giving me peace in believing, and at times joy. O the de-

lightful moments I have experienced. I have found Jesus a most satisfying portion; but have been humbled before God, from a deep conviction of my want of conformity to him. I am ready to think none ever experienced so much of his goodness, who did not feel more of the transforming influence of grace. I am earnestly -desirous to have my heart adorned with every fruit of the Holy Spirit; and my life with every virtue of the Christian character, that God may be glorified in me. I now see in a different manner than what I formerly did, that all the mercies I enjoy, from a cup of cold water to the salvation of my soul, have been purchased by the Redeemer. This endears him to me. He is my all in all,

July 14. The Lord is still merciful, and though often provoked, has not yet forsaken me. I still, through mercy, hold fast my confidence, though not at all times alike strong. I have generally a persuasion that I shall overcome. The Lord has given me precious promises on which he has caused me to hope; and I daily look for their accomplishment. With the apostle I am enabled, in some measure to forget, "those things which are behind, and reach forth to those things which are before:" and at times am so animated with the hopes of complete victory, that nothing seems to intimidate: but there are also seasons when, through the power of corruption, the strength of temptation, and a sense of a thousand evils which still cleave to me, I am weighed

down, and am ready to sink. But he who is rich in mercy knows what I am able to bear, and proportions my sufferings to my strength. At present I perceive no object worthy my pursuit, but the will of God; that is indeed precious. I earnestly desire to know it, and to walk in it; but for want of power, and at times of inclination, I suffer keen anguish. Lord God, perfect what thou hast begun.

September 16. My soul is restlessly pursuing God, with a deep sense of the emptiness of all created good: without much sensible enjoyment, but with great desire and expectation. And through mercy, my anchor is fixed, and Jesus in some small measure is, my "wisdom, righteousness, sanctification and redemption."

Sunday 19. To-day the Lord humbled me by a sight and sense of my natural wretchedness; I was almost a terror to myself. At night my distress increased, and my soul was in an agony. I seemed stript of all. I had no doubt of my adoption, yet the conflict was great; Satan raged mightily, but the Lord sustained me. When I thought of yielding, a secret voice seemed to encourage me to fight manfully. I was convinced that the Lord would not suffer me to be tried above what I was able to bear, and I happily found it so. Jesus drew nigh and strengthened me, but rather with sustaining than with comforting grace. He rebuked Satan, and in some measure I hope I came off victorious; yet in every situation I see danger. When most alive

to God, I am most sensible of the hinderances I meet with from others, and am prone to grow fretful and impatient :-again, when I obtain victory over my enemies, then I feel a tendency to spiritual pride, which terrifies me. But must I slacken my pursuit of Divine things because of this? No, I endeavour to fly to the blood of sprinkling, and cry to Jesus.

October 8. For some days the Lord has been teaching me that in nothing am I to seek happiness but in himself:-to use other things, but to enjoy him. It is a difficult lesson: Without much gracé and constant watchfulness, how natural is it to sink, at least in a measure, into the creature. O how much has the Lord to do in me! May I prove his utmost power to save. I am at a loss how to tell of his goodness; it is so great, nothing exceeds it but my unfaithfulness. The pains he is taking to make me meet for an inheritance among the saints in light, is astonishing. I sensibly find him giving me all the comfort I can bear. When low and depressed, he raises me up; and when in danger of spiritual pride, he sends something which proves a proper ballast. He truly does all things well. What cause have I to praise him for all that is past, and to trust him for all that is to come.

Nov. 23. Was much hindered in prayer this morning by wandering thoughts. This is a besetting evil of mine; but in family-prayer, my mind was more composed. I often feel more freedom from wanderings when praying with

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