4th. That as foon as a fufficient number can be obtained for the first exhibition, the fame be forthwith opened at 2s. 6d. each perfon, with 6d. extra for those who wish to peep into the coffins, and an additional 6d. for those who are defirous of kiffing the remaining hands and toes. N. B. As it is intended that well-authenticated originals only fhall be exhibited, a liberal and enlightened public will fee the propriety of the charge being fuch as to exclude improper perfons. 5th. That the first feries fhall confift of eminent military characters, in two claffes, of ancient and modern warriors; and that the fecond feries fhall confift of warranted originals of celebrated rogues and highwaymen, beginning with Jonathan Wild, and continued to the prefent time, 6th. That no expense be spared in ranfacking all the vaults and church-yards in the three kingdoms; so as to leave nothing to be wifhed for in this elegant and novel department of public amusement, and to make it fuperior to any thing of the kind ever before witneffed. 7th. That the thanks of this meeting be given to Mr. Earthworm, the inventor and chairman, for his zeal and readinefs in calling the prefent meeting, and his enlightened and impartial services. (Signed) TIM. CROSSBONES, Sec. N. B. In an undertaking of fuch magnitude and importance, the proprietors muft neceffarily expend vaft fums of money; yet they truft with confidence in the generous fupport of a British public for the remuneration and reward of their labours, in an exhibition of more interest than was ever before attempted in this country.. AN AN IMPROMPTU, OCCASIONED BY A GENTLEMAN LAMENTING TO THE AUTHOR, THE LATE ELOPEMENT OF HIS DAUGHTER; AND REQUESTING AN ADVERTISEMENT MIGHT BE DRAWN UP: WHEN MR. VAUGHAN INSTANTLY WROTE THE FOLLOWING STANZAS: IN years fhe is young, Has a voice and a tongue That warble enchanting to hear; "Befides, her sweet smile Would a hermit beguile, Though devout at his beads and his pray'r. Then ftop her I pray, If the comes in your way, And I will my gratitude fhow, In an hundred at fight, On Selby and Wright, So you fnatch her from D-gl-s and Co. A GOOD CUSTOMER. Na county far north, a great owner of coal, Papa, it methinks would increase much your trade, Since his fire is fo large to deftroy naughty fouls, If with you this Old Nick would but deal for his coals.” J. F. C. TRANSLATION TRANSLATION OF THE BASIA OF CATULLUS. I Y Lefbia, let us live and love, MY Nor heed the frowns of dull cold age; And Wisdom to the frofty fage. Yon fun, that fhines fo lovely now, Hath spread her dark wings o'er our day,' Give me again that melting kiss; Give me, ah! give ten thousand more— Now kifs me fwifter than before: And when the pow'r of numb'ring 's gone, And tell the envious, when they 're flown, SIR, THE 'SQUIRE AND HIS HORSES. [From the British Press.] 1 THANK you for your feelings on my account, owing to my long filence; and to relieve: many others from the apprehenfions that I am dead (an apprehenfion of the most alarming nature, as they have then promised to pay their debts), I affure the public, that though I now and then look rather black, in confequence of my jealoufy of Napoleon, who beats me at my own game, I am upon the whole Devilish well. I must preface what I have now to lay before you, Mr. Mr. Editor, with a little anecdote of, I believe, Saint Auftin, as related by the Fathers. A The Saint, preaching one day very seriously to a full congregation, fuddenly burst into a violent fit of laughter, but, recovering himself, proceeded to the end of his difcourfe. When he had done, a friend, throughcuriofity, inquired what could be the reafon of this unexpected, and apparently unprovoked rifibility? "I'll tell you," faid the Saint (and now, Mr. Editor, you shall hear how a Saint can lie). "The fact is, that while I was preaching, I obferved the Devil among my flock liftening to two old women, and, thinking how he fhould pafs his time to keep his eyes open, he accidentally recollected that he had a piece of parchment in his pocket, which he pulled forth, together with a style, and placing it on his knee, began to take down the old women's converfation. They,mumbled on at an uncommon raté, and he was soon obliged to turn over, and very quickly got to the end of the other fide. The old women still kept chattering on, and his parchment being full, the poor Devil was quite at a lofs what to do. At laft he put it eagerly between his teeth, and began tugging away to ftretch it, which I no fooner faw (for I always keep my eye on him) than I loft all power over myself, and burst into the involuntary fit of laughter which appeared to you fo extraordinary. This ftory I have related merely as an excufe for what is about to follow, and it is furely a fufficient one. If, at church, the Devil could find nothing better to do than to take down the veteres avias, or goffiping of two old women, without a doubt he may, while on the coast of England, watching the motions of his offspring Bonaparte, be allowed to turn a Kentifh jeu d'efprit into hobbling rhymes. THE THE 'SQUIRE AND HIS HORSES. A FACT. VOLTAIRE, that fon of fin and defamation, "Their steel, more fharp than wit, cuts these two thingsThe tails of horfes and the heads of kings!" This foreign anecdote I lay before ye, Is foreign quite, quite foreign to our ftory; And "thereby hangs a tale"-t is this-There once Liv'd here a country gem'man, no small dunce. Shorn of their beams," now pleas'd the 'Squire no more. Griev'd at the act, to Ralph his groom he spoke, "Too far we've carried, Ralph, this cutting joke: What think you, fhall we put them up to fale?" "Ay, Sir," cried he, "and fell them quick wholesale.""Wholesale! why fo, fince no diseases ail them?”— "Because," faid Ralph, "you never can re-tail them!" Dover. OLD NICK. MANSLAUGHTER :—AN OLD STORY. 'T Honi foit qui mal y pense. [From the Lewes and Brighton Journal.] WAS fomewhere on the Suffex fhore, It might be Weftham, Pevenfey, or Bourn; 'T was fome place where the quality fojourn. |