No matter then the name o' th' place,
Perhaps 't would prove a wild-goofe chafe,

In fearch o' th' truth to either town to ride;

The ftory's good, let that fuffice;

You need not be fo over-nice,

I fwear the actors are not much belied.

A prifoner long in durance vile,
In that d-'d place yclep'd the jail,

Had lain for ftealing old 'Squire Quorum's brogues &
A worthy magiftrate was he,

As any in those parts you 'd fee,
The terror of all breeches-ftealing rogues.

Anon the day of trial comes,

The Worshipfuls were on their bums,
And all the court in folemn filence fat;
The Jury fworn, the Culprit brought,
To know if he could offer aught
In mitigation of what he 'd been at.

But he, poor wretch, had nought to say,
'Twas not his fpeechifying day,
He did but plead not guilty of the fin:
And now the Jury were fent out,
To know if there remain'd a doubt,
With any one what verdict to bring in.

Now 't is much doubted in this nation,
If men born free of corporation
Are
any wifer than we common hogs;
But I ne'er doubted 'bout the case,
For men who always are in place,
Are men of sense, oh! wondrous witty dogs.

The brogues were new, fo was the crime,
No theft like this at any time

Had ere within the town detected been:
The foreman humm'd, but nothing faid;
Each worthy juror fhook his head,

Not e'en a fmile throughout the group was feen.

Now

Now closely fhut within their room,
They ponder'd on the prisoner's doom,
But could not all in one opinion meet;

Some thought 't was wilful murder quite,
Some swore 't was ravishment outright,
But all declar'd the crime was wondrous great.

And now the foreman's brows unbend,
Soon all their doubtings had an end,
His wifdom hit the right nail on the head;
"Manflaughter is the crime," he cried:
"'T is Manflaughter," each voice replied,
And into Court they speedily were led;
Where Mister Foreman, after three low bows,
Gave in their verdict, and the Court allows;
And in the record of that Court, no doubt,
The ground-work of my tale may be trac'd out.
Pett Academy.
CENSOR.

A

THE GREEN MAN EXHIBITED IN VERSE.

[From the fame]

SPRUCE little man, in a doublet of green,
Perambulates daily the streets and the Steine;

Green ftripe is his waistcoat, his fmall-clothes are green,
And oft round his neck a green kerchief is feen;

Green watch-ftrings, green feals, and for certain I've heard, (Though they're powder'd,) green whiskers, and eke a green

beard!

Green garters, green hofe, and deny it who can,
The brains too are green of this little Green Man!
Steine, Brighton, Oct. 2, 1806.

Quiz.

LINES,

AFTER THE MANNER OF DARWIN.

[From the fame.]

CHLORANDRIA LEUCOCEPHALA.

This lately difcovered plant is neither useful nor ornamental, but merely noticed for its fingularity.

CHEE

HEER'D by the warmth of beauty's radiant fmile,
Where Love prefides o'er Albion's emerald isle,

The fea-girt fhores, where balmy breezes fan,

Chlorandria blooms-a vegetable man.
Sublime in air, his fnowy head he rears,
And verdant Spring's unfading livery wears;
The fun-burnt earth, if mild September cools,
Or April leads her annual flowers and fools;
Parent of mad dogs, if the burning ray
Of July darts intolerable day;

If dark December opes the Christmas hoard,
And with mince pies adorns the festive board;
Chang'd by no feasons as they circling go,

Nor fcorch'd by funs, nor chill'd by winter's fnow;
With bloom unvaried is Chlorandria feen
Clad in a garb of fempiternal green.

Thus where Brighthelmfton dabbling crowds invites
'Mid Winter's frowns to Summer's foft delights,
Where lovely ladies, fish-like, ftrive to swim,
Bound on the wave, and stretch each pliant limb,
Struts the gay wonder of the staring 'Steine,
The unknown hero of the Garb of Green!
Still as he walks, the tittering crowds advance,
Bursts the horse-laugh, and gleams the wicked glance.

Green

Green in the air his filken kerchiefs float,
Green to his knees depends his gloffy coat,
Green pantaloons each clumfy leg embrace,
And the green hat o'erfhades his whisker'd face!
When smokes the board at hunger's lov'd command,
In green array the loaded dishes ftand!

His head on high no favoury turkey rears,
But the green goofe in gravy green appears!
No brown firloin, no cutlet deftly fried,
But the tall cabbage tow'rs in verdant pride!
Nor dares the beet-root's rofy blush be seen
Amidst his falad's univerfal green.

Long near our fhores may this exotic bloom,
And chafe by laughter Care's impending gloom;
Still may he boaft the green furtout, and fpread
A pauper's dinner on his powder'd head;
And when (like Winter) age shall sprinkle fnows,
Snug in a green-house may his form repose;
In green old age be ftill a green unique,
The choiceft fpecimen of verd antique.

CASIMIR:

ANECDOTES AND BON MOTS.

The wrong Regiment.

WHEN a foldier fell into the Thames and was drowned, a person asked another to what regiment the poor fellow belonged, and was anfwered, "The Life Guards."-" Nay, my good Sir," faid the Inquirer," I think you must be mistaken; for he is certainly in the Cold Stream."

Anecdote of Lord Vernon.-LORD Vernon had formerly a domestic of the name of Thomas, who having ferved his Lordship faithfully for a long time, had accumulated money enough to enable him to take a public-house in Pentonville (the fame which is now occupied by his widow). The refpect that he felt for his cidevant mafter prompted him to fet up the fign of the Vernon Arms. A few months afterwards, as Lord Vernon

was

་་

was accidentally riding paft, his attention was attracted by the unexpected appearance of his arms; and seeing the name of Thomas underneath, his Lordship stopped his horse, and calling for the landlord, asked him how he dared make ufe of his arms without permiffion. "An't please you, my Lord," replied mine hoft, "I thought I had a kind of right to do fo, as your Lordfhip for fo many years made use of my arms." The readiness of this anfwer pleafed his Lordship fo much, that he ever after patronised Thomas, and after his death interested himself with great benevolence in be half of his widow and children.

A FELLOW having been adjudged for perjury to lose his ears, when Ketch came to put the law in force, he found the culprit already cropped; Jack feemed furprised- "What," faid the criminal, with the greatest fang froid, " am I obliged to furnish you with ears every time you are pleased to crop me?"

JACK KETCH, being fummoned to the Court of Confcience for a finall debt, was asked how he meant to pay it? The answer was, "Why, an please your honour, as I know the plaintiff and his family well, I'll work it out for him in my own line.”"

WHEN the late Robert Lord Clive was a boy, and once walking with a schoolfellow through Drayton market, the two lads ftopped to look at a butcher killing a calf. "Dear me, Bobby," fays the lad, "I would not be a butcher for all the world."-" Why, I fhould not much like it," faid Clive; "it's a dirty beggarly bufinefs; but I'd a plaguey deal rather be a butcher than a calf !"

Singular Recommendation.-A SAILOR meeting one day with a negro, who had a remarkably fmall pig under his arm, afked him the price of it, "Half-aVOLX. guinea,

L